I just had very interesting conversation with a coaching client. This woman raised two children and paid for their college educations with her Real Estate career as her only income. She sells all kinds of residential single family and investment properties. Yet to listen to her you would think that she lacks self confidence.
I told her that her self talk was damaging her self esteem. She asked if I was saying she lacked self confidence. I thought about it. I told her, absolutely not. She will tell you that she is good at her business, that she is a successful mother. But she will then say that she has not had a successful career.
Why? Because, in her opinion, the Real Estate media holds up mega producers as the only successful people. I pointed out to her that she has a decade and two college educated children as proof that she has had a successful career.
I pointed out that the only voice in the world that considers her less than a success is her own voice, specifically the one in her head. Her self talk diminishes her.
I taught by children that it was completely unacceptable for them to speak negatively about each other or themselves. The punishment for that was as serious as anything else they did. Break a window, no problem. Fight with your sibling, normal stuff. Stay up past your bedtime, what bedtime? But tell your sibling they are stupid or call yourself stupid for something you did and they would be punished.
The most important voice in your life is your own. Treat yourself to only positive messages and you will accomplish great things.