We Are Not The Same

Real Estate Agent with Savvy + Company Real Estate NC: 277197

Jennifer Monroe - This is who I amWell, that's not entirely true. We're alike in how we are so very different from all the rest. I'm speaking of our professional identity. Which for me, is precisely the same as my real self. My only self.

You will never find me 'dressed for success', following a set dress code, conduct code or any other manner of being that requires a special decoder ring to figure out who or what I'm about. I am not about my looks and I am not about to behave in the mode du jour. My essential self will never be shrouded within a secret identity. 

Yeah. I'm different. Because if being real is different, then I'm marketing myself brilliantly.

"If it's not different, it's not marketing" 

This from Andrew Lenza, the guy who defined in one sentence my forever personal paradigm on marketing. And different I am. Standing in eerie relief against the other drones.

Like you, (and thanks to ActiveRain), my world is filled with friendships with like-minded individuals in our industry. A theme I hear often is that we were drawn to this profession to be in business for ourselves and do it our own way. Most of us have already paid our dues to the nine-to-five corporate world. The suppression nearly did us in.

Or maybe it's just me. Unvarnished and awkward, I can't help but see the myriad ways in which I don't belong to the status quo. I rarely fit in even if I've learned to blend now and again. But blending has never been my thing.

The question burning inside of me is this:  If I don't belong just as I am, do I stay anyway?

Here I sit on the floor of this little blue room and I honestly don’t know what direction I should take. Even though this time, it matters.


I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not."

~Kurt Cobain




This entry hasn't been re-blogged:

Re-Blogged By Re-Blogged At
ActiveRain Community
The Lounge at Active Rain
Dedicated Bloggers
Silent Majority
Dead Rainers Society
Club Chaos
not your average broker chick
where do i go from here
the stepford jennifer dies right here

Post a Comment
Spam prevention
Spam prevention
Show All Comments
Mike Saunders
Lanier Partners - Athens, GA

Jennifer - haven't been on a bike in years, unfortunately, osteoarthritis in the hips. But I use to ride around Beaverton, Portland and Hillsboro a lot. And hey, I am not pretty to begin with but my wife still took me warts and all. And yes, Jenn, I do care, well. at least find it intersting.

May 03, 2009 08:52 AM #23
Gary Woltal
Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX
Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth

Love that Kurt Cobain quote Jennifer. It is so ME. Of course I hope to have a much happier ending than he did.

May 03, 2009 09:01 AM #24
Jennifer Monroe
Savvy + Company Real Estate - Charlotte, NC
Real Estate REALTOR®/Broker in Beautiful Charlotte

Charles... Actually I'm laughing and NOT deleting this. Between his post and mine this afternoon, we are certainly leading this membership down a dark path ;-)

Mike... I don't believe I had any idea you were ever a Portlander. I'm a mountain biker and don't hear well enough to trust riding on the road, but 6% of the Portland population commutes by bike and it's something you don't see here at ALL. I kinda miss that spirit. Anyway - just because you're old now doesn't mean you're not pretty. And I'm betting your wife agrees with me.

Gary... I hope you have a much happier ending too! You should probably start making certain of it right now by visiting Jason's proctologist (above!).


General Observation:   I think he's rubbing off on me!

May 03, 2009 09:54 AM #25
Sandra Cummings
William Raveis Real Estate - Guilford, CT
Real Estate Agent, Guilford Connecticut

We are not the same? Your kidding, right lol,

My Jen...You will always be just you no matter what you wear, and if certain people can't appreciate the uniqueness of you, it is their lose. Just be yourself, take your time finding the right place, it's out there, not every place is a stuffy shirt.

May 03, 2009 11:09 AM #26
"The Lovely Wife" (Broker Bryantnulls Wife) The One And Only TLW.
President-Tutas Towne Realty, Inc. - Kissimmee, FL


You're a better woman than me, I have a dozen or so selves :)


May 03, 2009 11:45 AM #27
Susan Mangigian
RE/MAX Preferred, West Chester, PA, RS152252A - West Chester, PA
Chester & Delaware County Homes, Delaware and Ches

My friend, why not post the picture of you in spandex, I could use a good dose of green envy!!  I like to think that I am the same person all of the time.  I laugh too loud so I don't golf or frequent country clubs.  I don't dress up unless absolutely necessary.  If I can't be myself with people, I find it too tiring to be around them.  Can't wait to meet you in person now that you are in PA.  Mwah until then!

May 03, 2009 11:55 AM #28
Missy Caulk
Missy Caulk TEAM - Ann Arbor, MI
Savvy Realtor - Ann Arbor Real Estate

Hey girl, where you been? Long time no post from you. Hope you and he are doing good.

The comments are cracking me up.

May 03, 2009 12:10 PM #29
Jennifer Monroe
Savvy + Company Real Estate - Charlotte, NC
Real Estate REALTOR®/Broker in Beautiful Charlotte

My Sandra... Oh but we ARE the same! Our naked pictures prove it ;-))

Lovely Wife... Nah... I got ya beat babe! Just ask him... there are too many to count!

My Susan... Shoot...I don't have that picture anymore because I just sent it to Aunt Karen. But ask My Sandra... I think she may have some you'd be interested in! So call me this week and let's make a plan. I can't wait to read each others lips! LMAO!!! And I do laugh loud as well. We'll have fun getting 86'd together!

Missy... Yes I've been remiss in my blogging and this is my first post since being here for the past 6 weeks. But he's kept me in a delicious haze and I haven't wanted to come up for air or get back to reality just yet. I probably never will. This is blissful and I haven't stopped smiling yet :)

May 03, 2009 01:50 PM #30
Celeste "SALLY" Cheeseman
Liberty Homes - Mililani, HI

I'll go back and read comments after :)

You sure are different.... as you...I do not 'dress for success'...and neither do I spend loads of money to plaster my face all over...I just NEED to be me. I refuse to be like everyone else ... it keeps me sane that way.

There's a point where we all have to blend ....only to mix up...well enough.

And that's good enough for me.

In the meantime...enjoy....life is bliss :)

May 03, 2009 02:10 PM #31
Karen Anne Stone
New Home Hunters of Fort Worth and Tarrant County - Fort Worth, TX
Fort Worth Real Estate

Jennifer:  Hey, hon.  I'm still waiting... staring at my email.  You are such a tease, Miss Monroe.  Hope you are well... :)

May 03, 2009 05:52 PM #32
Cynthia Tilghman, Realtor® Onslow County NC Home Specialist
Kingsbridge Realty, Inc - Hubert, NC

Hi Jennifer,
How is Allentown, Pa. treating you? 

May 04, 2009 01:15 AM #33
Greg Knowles Santa Barbara Ca.
Fidelity National Title Group-Santa Barbara - Santa Barbara, CA

Lenza is one of my favorites! Keep on being who ya are. That's the only way to make this world a better place.

May 04, 2009 10:21 AM #34
Alexsandra Stewart
Remax equity group - Portland, OR
Broker - Portland Oregon Real Estate

Hi jen -- glad you are writing -- probably should say posting again, as I expect you HAVE been writing!   have missed your quirky and oh so you point of view.  Glad everything is delicious and blissful there cause that means you are happy, happy!  I am missing you here. Bet you already know what I think about being yourself -- of course!  --it's the only way to be alive!

May 06, 2009 05:01 PM #35
Margaret Mitchell
Coldwell Banker Yorke Realty - York, ME
Seacoast Maine & NH Real Estate

Hi Jennifer - I truly grappled with that question, working for a money center bank in Manhattan during the 80's & 90's.  I looked just like the cover of that book (I forget the name) about Yuppies.  I hated it.  But I felt it necessary.

My natural style:  I am a low maintenance person.  I go out in the dead of Maine winter with wet hair because I don't blow dry.  I do dress up a bit more on the days that I am "on".  But not so much that it isn't me.  Just a slightly better looking me.  A little bit of staging so to speak. 

I think it is a balancing act.  No one belongs in EVERY environment just as they are.  But with a little adjustment, perhaps we can belong in enough environments to make it work.  I don't think of the adjustment as not being true to myself.  I am after all, a chameleon.  I think of it as making the other person more comfortable with me.  Then after they get over the initial shock, lol...  They get to see more of the real me.

Glad to hear you are happy in your new home.

May 08, 2009 01:13 AM #36
Jennifer Monroe
Savvy + Company Real Estate - Charlotte, NC
Real Estate REALTOR®/Broker in Beautiful Charlotte

Hey Sally... So did the comments make any difference for you? That's a post in and of itself though :) Anyway, You are absolutely right when you say life is bliss. At least MY life is right NOW :)

Aunt Karen... Behave! Or on second thought, don't. Where would we be without our bad Aunt Karen?? MWA!!

Cynthia... Thank you so much for asking. I'm thrilled to be here and the truth is the honeymoon hasn't worn off. And if I have my way it never will. I know it will take awhile before I find my true place here - at least outside our home - but this is where I belong and I love it here.

May 08, 2009 09:43 AM #37
Jennifer Monroe
Savvy + Company Real Estate - Charlotte, NC
Real Estate REALTOR®/Broker in Beautiful Charlotte

Greg... Lenza is one of my favorites as well and I still regret his departure. That may have been the day the music died around here. As for making the world a better place, it's a dream I follow even if it eludes me most days.

Alex... We really do need to set up a phone date. I miss you and I miss you some more. If ever there were someone I admire that I can be exactly myself with - it's you. You couldn't be more who you are and in doing so you, give me implicit permission to be me. And isn't that the hallmark of friendship??

Margaret... Well sweetie... I think you just wrote my post for me - only BETTER this time. The only difference between you and I is that I DO blow dry my hair with a huge double-barreled Italian weapon that uses more electricity than a summer storm can generate. Otherwise, you get what you get and I just can't play it any differently. And yes... I am very very happy in my new home :) Thank you for your good wishes!

May 08, 2009 09:54 AM #38
Darin Osenberg
Funky Quail Vintage - Nashville, TN

Are there alot of good Qoutes in your household?? ill bet there are!

Nice job....

"Dont go changing, to try to please me"...


 A little lighter than NIRVANA!  :) 


May 08, 2009 11:25 AM #39
Respect Realty LLC
Respect Realty LLC - Milwaukie, OR
Brokers - Oregon / SW Washington Real Estate

Well I can tell you from someone who has met you on a couple of occassions you are true to yourself and that is what I love about you. We are different but we both have a passion for people and that was what brought together.


May 08, 2009 12:03 PM #40
Sarah Eubanks
Hill Valley Financial Services - Oregon City, OR
Preferred Oregon Loan Consultant & Notary Public

Hey girl!  I miss our "lunches".  :)  Like Todd, we are so very different, but that is what ismagical about our friendship.  We both have an appreciation for being ourselves and we are (relatively) comfortable in our own skin.  ((hugs)) from the west to the east!

May 11, 2009 08:25 AM #41
Sara Goodwin
Ashcroft & Associates - Portland, OR
Portland, Oregon Appraiser

Oh Jennifer (I think I started the last entry with the same two words)...It's funny you should write this.  I found a pen in the form of a lipstick and thought of getting it for you as a going away present. Yes, you are always yourself, but yourself does include always-fresh pink lipstick and nicely manicured nails, my dear.

I think it's apropos that Sarah commented above this post, too.  I think she'll understand what I'm talking about.


May 21, 2009 04:27 PM #42
Post a Comment
Spam prevention
Show All Comments

What's the reason you're reporting this blog entry?

Are you sure you want to report this blog entry as spam?


Jennifer Monroe

Real Estate REALTOR®/Broker in Beautiful Charlotte
Prefer a unique Savvy Girl to old fashioned agents? Let's chat!
Spam prevention

Additional Information