NOTE: Questions to Ask SELF

By
Real Estate Agent with Liberty Homes RS-#62825

thought patternsIt's kind of peaceful in here. Uh, who's that talking?  Oh, it's the self talk - talking again. It's kind of cool when I can answer me back too. It's kind of like....talking to me in the mirror and holding a conversation. LOL.

Getting some deep questions answered.

We ALL do some self talk from time to time and even ask ourselves questions. It's even better when we can answer ourselves. LOL! Now mind you, the self talk I'm talking about is not voicing your conversation aloud with SELF but being mindful of certain situations and circumstances. (otherwise,  when talking aloud in public and answering yourself may get a few odd stares)

Questions to Ask Self may include:

  • Why am I being so defensive about another's opinion?  My answer can range from wanting everyone to think like me to feeling that I don't have control over a situation. Bottom line? I don't have control over anyone except MYSELF. A great tool for me because I will always cross paths with a client, peer or consumer who does not share the same thinking patterns as I do.
  • Am I affecting others in a negative manner? This is one of the most frequent questions I ask myself and the most important because if I'm not aware of my own behavior then I obviously don't lSally at her deskisten or hear others. This is one of the best tools in Real Estate. The ability to LISTEN to their client's needs and wants.
  • Am I using Healthy Boundaries I have set for myself?  Being positive does not mean I let everyone walk all over me and in business we have to keep our boundaries lest we ALLOW people to start walking all over us. Communication is key to being assertive and telling others what we do and don't want. On the flip side...we respect others boundaries as well.
  • Am I saying yes when I really mean no?  Again, personal boundaries are healthy and people respect people who set boundaries with them. It shows you respect yourself.Also, resentments add up for the person who is not being honest and telling people how they really feel. A good business, personal or intimate relationship consists of mutual respect and honest communication for their needs.

All the questions I ask self and all the self talk I'm doing allows me to look at self. That IS the only way to define self and keep from being a victim and start looking outside of self.  It allows me to agree to disagree.  It allows me to be accountable, responsible and honest with self and in turn dictates who I am.

 It is with this information that I utilize in my life every day and take into my business. It is with this information that I am in a class all my own..... Individuality.

And with this.... I will classify myself as a good human being.

And allows me to sleep well.....EVERY night.

 

Posted by

                                                       

 

Celeste "Sally" Cheeseman  is a Realtor-Associate® and Certified Residential Specialist (CRS) with Century 21 Liberty Homes in Mililani, Hawaii. With a sharp understanding that a listening ear is the key to a client's needs  she serves the island of Oahu (Honolulu County) and all Hawaii Military Relocations, Hawaii Retirees, Hawaii Job Transfers and Hawaii Residents, Home Buyers and Sellers.

 

 © 2007-2015 Celeste "Sally" Cheeseman's

Hawaii Real Estate and Relocation Blog.

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Jennifer Fivelsdal
JFIVE Home Realty LLC | 845-758-6842|162 Deer Run Rd Red Hook NY 12571 - Rhinebeck, NY
Mid Hudson Valley real estate connection

Sally - I find doing this keeps me grounded too.  Very interesting picture.

Apr 21, 2009 01:22 PM #9
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Celeste "SALLY" Cheeseman
Liberty Homes - Mililani, HI
(RA) AHWD CRS ePRO OAHU HAWAII REAL ESTATE

Thanks Hannah

George: Shh....I didn't go there...but you did lol.  Rarely do  I focus on the mirror anymore....slap some make up on and go...but hey...the talking to self works. When one can't face something looking in the mirror helps....make me....deal with me. lol.

Jennifer: It is grounded. ....lol...the picture I took of me...and then did a filter thing...kind of like those commercials where they make it look not real but it's real people. Okay...did you understand that? LOL

Apr 21, 2009 01:25 PM #10
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Lola Audu
Lola Audu~Audu Real Estate~Grand Rapids, MI Real Estate - Grand Rapids, MI
Audu Real Estate~Grand Rapids, MI ~Welcome Home!

Great questions Sally.  This is a list which we all can use to just check on what's really going on inside.  Great read!

Apr 21, 2009 01:55 PM #11
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Richard Weisser
Richard Weisser Realty - Newnan, GA
Richard Weisser Retired Real Estate Professional

Sally...

I had a rough exchange on a blog today, and then I got a really nasty email. But I keep yelling myself "You're better than that." Whew.

Apr 21, 2009 02:23 PM #12
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Lynda Eisenmann
Preferred Home Brokers - Brea, CA
Broker-Owner,CRS,CDPE,GRI,SRES, Brea,CA, Orange Co

Aloha Sally,

Tell me, how to you keep coming up with this stuff my friend? You continue to amaze me, thank you.

As for your "Healthy Boundaries..." this one took me a while myself. I had a few, yet not enough, my coaching group was a big help, I learned to set more of them for myself. Do I make exceptions? You bet, yet without boundaries, everything can become an exception.

Thanks!

Apr 21, 2009 02:45 PM #13
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Marlene Bridges
Village Real Estate Services, Inc. - Laguna Hills, CA
Laguna Homes|Laguna Condos|Laguna Real Estate

Hi Sally,

Mahalo for anotherintrospective, constructive, and positive post.  It's hard for me to believe you actualloy ask yourself if you positively affect others.  I've never know you as anything but positve. 
What a wonderful set of questions you've presented here.  I'm going to start using them myself.

Mahalo my friend.

Apr 21, 2009 03:10 PM #14
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Laura Cerrano
Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island - Locust Valley, NY
Certified Feng Shui Expert, Speaker & Researcher

Sally, I sleep well too.  I wonder sometimes how many people really stop and think about their actions, words, comments or anything else that might affect another.  It should be as important as getting washed every day--we need to be the best WE can be.

Apr 21, 2009 04:23 PM #15
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Lisa Hill
Florida Property Experts - Daytona Beach, FL
Daytona Beach Real Estate

I think we all need to be aware of the self-talk that is constantly running, whether we're aware of it or not. Good job of drawing it to our attention. It's important to stay positive and focused =)

Apr 21, 2009 04:43 PM #16
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Celeste "SALLY" Cheeseman
Liberty Homes - Mililani, HI
(RA) AHWD CRS ePRO OAHU HAWAII REAL ESTATE

thanks Lola!  It can get pretty deep in there ....ya know what I mean?

Richard: You yell? lol. Yeah...it can be comforting to know that we can talk ourselves out of buying into stuff...that's not to say we're not human...because believe me ... I will voice my opinions. :) Good for you Richard!

Linda: Everyday moments in thought my friend!  Something happens...I get a thought and surely run with it!  Yeah...exceptions with my kids....not much as they are adults but sometimes :)

 

Apr 21, 2009 05:37 PM #17
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Celeste "SALLY" Cheeseman
Liberty Homes - Mililani, HI
(RA) AHWD CRS ePRO OAHU HAWAII REAL ESTATE

Marlene: I am as human as the next person Marlene...and there will be sometimes that I let my emotions get the best of me....the best thing is...I hold myself accountable and am responsible to get up off my behind and acknowledge, apologize and move on. Believe me...these are just a few questions....I have a day full of questions ...each and every day. :)

Carole: No kidding. It's as routine for me as picking up after myself. I leave nothing for others to pick up :)  If I am not aware... I would have no conscience. Hmmm...there are plenty out there like that aren't there?

Lisa: I'd rather be aware....otherwise, that relapse in the mind will occur :)

Apr 21, 2009 05:44 PM #18
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C Tann-Starr
Tann Starr & Associates, Inc. - Palm Bay, FL

Featured @ Club Chaos

Apr 21, 2009 09:10 PM #19
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Paddy (Patricia) Pizappi
Better Homes and Gardens Rand Realty - Pine Bush, NY
Real Estate Associate Broker Hudson Valley NY

Great post once again.  I think each of us need to constantly evaluate our answers to these important questions.  Thank you.

Apr 21, 2009 11:14 PM #20
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Celeste "SALLY" Cheeseman
Liberty Homes - Mililani, HI
(RA) AHWD CRS ePRO OAHU HAWAII REAL ESTATE

Thanks CTS

Paddy: Maybe I should do a part two with more lol

 

Everyone: I'll be back later on....got a dr. appt.

Apr 22, 2009 04:05 AM #21
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Paddy (Patricia) Pizappi
Better Homes and Gardens Rand Realty - Pine Bush, NY
Real Estate Associate Broker Hudson Valley NY

missed the note about the test.  As you know I just went through it too.  Yuck.  Good news for me though I am now on a "3 year plan" rather than every year Yeah I wish you good news.

Apr 22, 2009 05:21 AM #22
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Sheldon Neal
Bergen County, NJ - RE/MAX Real Estate Limited - Maywood, NJ
That British Agent Bergen County NJ

"Why am I being so defensive about another's opinion"

Love this one...I try really hard not to let this get to me...and if I dont let their opinion rub me the wrong way, I always feel better !

Nice reminders Sal !!!

Cheers !

Sheldon

Apr 22, 2009 09:56 AM #23
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Celeste "SALLY" Cheeseman
Liberty Homes - Mililani, HI
(RA) AHWD CRS ePRO OAHU HAWAII REAL ESTATE

Paddy: Finally got up to check email and stuff....yup...they knocked me out and left me nauseated and slept after I came home. I have a five year plan. I guess better to be safe when blood shows up :)

Sheldon: Exactly....leave it in their court...it's theirs to own...just like ours is.  Your baby is such a cutie:)

Apr 22, 2009 05:11 PM #24
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William Johnson
Retired - La Jolla, CA
Retired Real Estate Professional

WOo Hoo! I love the picture. It is a keeper. Your reflections about your self talk is likely what put you where you are today. And that is  now) an awesome place. I hope the rest us are as good at, with equally good results. Did I mention that I love the picture? :-) It says it all.

Apr 22, 2009 05:11 PM #25
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Celeste "SALLY" Cheeseman
Liberty Homes - Mililani, HI
(RA) AHWD CRS ePRO OAHU HAWAII REAL ESTATE

Thanks William...I'll email you.

Apr 22, 2009 05:13 PM #26
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Kathy McGraw
CELLing Realty - White Water, CA
Riverside County CA Real Estate

Well you sure found a way to entertain yourself LOL :)  think, think think :)

Apr 29, 2009 04:05 PM #27
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Celeste "SALLY" Cheeseman
Liberty Homes - Mililani, HI
(RA) AHWD CRS ePRO OAHU HAWAII REAL ESTATE

kathy: oh...you know me....entertaining self is an art lol

Apr 30, 2009 04:23 AM #28
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