Not having children of my own, I struggle when I have friends around with their own children. They're almost an "alien species" to me because I haven't a clue of how to relate, communicate or even act around them. I know it sounds strange but the last baby or child I was near is my nephew who's now a soldier in the United States Army.
Now, bring on the puppy dog or cat, I can slide right in and be just fine! Kids just freak me out! I worry that one will be hurt, lost or upset and I can't stand that thought - even if I don't plan to have my own!
So, on a trip this weekend with a friend/client and her 12 year old son, I was out of my element. We're in a car - for almost three hours - each way. Her son is almost silent for virtually the entire trip down there. On the way back, it's as if someone hit his "on" switch and he was "there" with us. "Are we there yet?", "Can we stop for a bathroom?", "I'm thirsty" (hence the potty stop, lol) and "I am tired - I want to walk around", "Why can't we stop at Wal-Mart?"...
So I decided to try to interact with him. (Not a big deal for most adult humans! lol) So when he asked about the GPS unit in the car, I went into how it operated and then manipulated the screen to zoom in and out and then quizzed him on the surrounding states and even further out. Named the cities shown on the screen and asked him what states they were in, what ocean is this on the left? On the right, etc. He was amused for all of 10 minutes I think (if that).
So I tried to come up with other things to occupy him. Hmmm... as a military brat, our family was in the car driving North to South and West to East, quite a bit so we had plenty of car games. I didn't have any of them with me so I had to relate the games you play with your eyes, your mind and your imagination.
I didn't figure he's like the imagination game as much so I told him about the license plate game - find all the states you can then we compare - but it was late in the trip by this time so we decided to move on to the game that I liked next best! "Travel Alphabet" or "Alphabet Signs".
You start with "a" and find one on a sign, then move on to "b" on another sign, "c", "d", etc... you can't get more than one letter from one sign but you can use license plates, street signs, building signs, the side of trucks - anything that has words on it - OUTSIDE your own car.
You think it sounds easy but you can go miles and miles and not see a sign in rural Alabama. Not so many miles are "sign free" anymore like it was decades ago when I played with my sisters. But you will run into more difficult letters than others like "j", "q", "x" (tho that's on each exit sign) and "z" - well that's a little harder to find.
So we went the last 25 miles home and got to "q"... so I promised him, once I dropped them off, I would continue until I got to my home 20 miles away. So off we go - my husband thinks something is wrong because I am quiet (amazing, I know) but I was honestly trying to find his "q"... and less than 4 miles from home we pass the "Triangle Quick Stop"...woo hoo! I felt that same old victory from my childhood...
I texted his mom and said I found his "q" and all the way up to "v" (Village is on my street sign) so he would have to finish when he got back in the car next time... You know, I don't know that she was too appreciative of my "new game" but I hate that kids have all the electronic babysitters they do in the car. He has a "ds" and a "dvd" player in their vehicle and they aren't challenged to look outside their own little bubble and see out the window! Not only that - they have to interact with the parent, if they're an only child. I just feel like they benefit from adult interaction so this is a good thing but for some parents, I have noticed, they like the aforementioned electronics so they can talk on the phone too.
On the road, we pass so many very interesting and educational things that it's a true shame for them to miss it all from looking at a screen. I can remember being admonished for reading books in the car as a child because there was so much to see. Books are great, they would say, but there was a world outside that you may never pass again so I had to take that opportunity when I had it. I get it now but I was not happy to put my books away back then!
Those kids are only with you for a short time and those years pass so quickly. As I look back, it feels like just yesterday that we brought my nephew home and we "danced" him to sleep in front of CMT on the tv as a baby. I am almost sad that he's all grown up now...
Try the "alphabet" game the next time you're in the car with your kids, grand children, or just a passenger in the car - or when your clients have their children in your car (yikes). It's a great game for everyone to play together - you alternate who gets to find the next letter or just whoever finds it hollers out and points it out so everyone can see it! No cheating - and you know what? It's probably the cheapest game you can get the kids. It stimulates their mind and gets them to pay attention to details...
You know, my husband and I returned to that same destination on Sunday (another 3 hours each way) and on the way there, I silently played throught the alphabet 4 times before I made myself quit! Then I just counted birds... Momma always said, simple things for simple minds..." lol
(When we arrived at our destination and had our lucnh break, my husband actually asked me if I was ok and then I admitted that I had been playing the alphabet game on the way down and he just shook his head.."you're such a goofball"...lol)
Drop me a note and let me know how you enjoyed the game and how it has changed your relationship with your kids! Ok so they'll think you're a nut at first but they could actually come to like the interaction with you... who knows?!?!
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