You know, when I started this business some 10 plus years ago I always felt that my best contacts would be from those who I already know. I believed that I had a very diverse and unique circle of friends and acquaintences of which I could rely on to help my business develop and grow. I have a large family as well so getting referrals and leads would be a no-brainer. Members of my church family are another source of whom I grew to rely on for continued success in this business. The thought of my having to pay for lead referrals or hand out flyers and business cards to strangers or even bringing my sales pitch with me every time I was at a social gathering was unthinkable to me because of this vast circle that I am so blessed with.
I got my first wake up call about a week into the business when I went to a family reunion and saw a cousin of mine that I hadn't seen in some time. She was however my cousin, we had a great relationship and enjoyed the times we shared as children growing up in my hometown of New York. When I first launched my business word spread through the family like a CNN Alert. Everyone, I mean everyone in the family knew in a moment what I had done and vowed they would support my business. While fellowshipping with my cousin during our reunion she happened to mention to me that she lives in Charlotte now and had relocated with her family from New York. You don't say?? I asked her where she moved to and she told me that she purchased a 7,000 square foot home near Lake Norman. I asked her who she used to broker the deal. The answer gave me chills...she in fact, had HIRED AN AGENT AND THAT AGENT WASN'T ME!!!! That agent wasn't family, that agent wasn't a friend or even a church member. In fact, she was a total stranger! I was stunned and deeply hurt. Without expressing my disappointment to her, I smiled then congratulated her and continued on with the festivities.
Since that time, I have been overlooked by numeous friends, family and neighbors who have sought real estate services by an outside source. Never has there been an occasion where one of these "loyal" members of my circle offered explanation, regret, or even apologies for what they had done. After years of what I deemed to be the ultimate betrayal I finally got brave enough to ask some of them why. I was very surprised to hear their answers. While some claimed they had "forgotten" I was an agent, there were a few "honest" friends or family that were brutally truthful in their explanations. "You are just too close to us". That's it? That's your pitiful, sorry, lame, nonsense answer? No way, I couldn't believe it. Years of opportunities lost to outside agents because you felt we were TOO close? This made no sense to me. I thought people would want to hire an agent whom they felt close to and could trust. Well, I got a fierce wake up call that day and have been ever since. I even called my best friend and colleague who happens to be a psychologist just to see if any of that made sense to her. Surprisingly enough, it did! She said it is natural for people to feel uncomfortable doing business with someone they feel close to. In fact, for some it is a golden rule NOT to conduct business with family and friends.
Well, needless to say I was broken hearted and disappointed as I built my business with the notion that many of my best opportunities would come from people that I had formed close and personal relationships with. So, what has all this taught me you might ask???? My answer...."DON'T MAKE ANY NEW FRIENDS AND NEVER SAY HI TO YOUR NEIGHBORS". As for family, well you know what they say, "you can't choose them so you might as well deal with them". LOL...FINDING THE HUMOR IN IT ALL.
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