When your Friend, Aunt, Mother, Brother, Uncle, Daughter, Sister (FAMBUDS) is buying a home, what can you do to help? Think back to when you bought your first home. Remember when you didn’t know what an HVAC was; or PMI? Remember how hard it was to decide between your two most favorite homes? What if you pick the wrong one? Do you need a basement? What if you get sick or lose your job? Will the bank really give you $150,000?
Your FAMBUDS needs your support and encouragement. They are nervous, excited and maybe even a little bit scared. Can you remember that knot in your stomach, just below your ribs, when you were going to sign the papers for your first mortgage? That’s what your FAMBUDS is experiencing now.
That’s why your FAMBUDS needs your unconditional love and support 
as they go through the process of choosing and buying their next home.
You want to help them because you care about their well being. You want to help them make the best choice. You want for them to get a really good deal. So you call them with the latest real estate news you saw on the internet or TV. You call them because someone on the radio said that interest rates were 3.5%. You tell them about this great house you saw on 62nd Terrace that would be perfect for them. Please stop and think a moment. Do they need all of this information from you? Or do they need someone who will listen as they talk through their own thoughts?
Your FAMBUDS has chosen a knowledgeable realtor to work with. The realtor has signed a buyer’s agency agreement with your FAMBUDS; meaning that they are committed to providing their best professional advice and opinion. The realtor knew about the bill that passed through congress before you saw it on the news. She may even have signed a petition in support of the bill months ago. Or called, or written our state representative to encourage the writing of the bill.
The house you saw on 62nd Terrace is on the MLS; the realtor already knows about it. She may have participated in the broker’s price opinion before it was listed. Because she has listened to her client, she knows whether or not it is something that will suit her buyer’s needs. 
Your FAMBUDS also has a professional loan officer(mortgare consultant) who knew about the interest rate before you saw it on the news. The LO checked to make sure the realtor knew about it; she did. Three of the mortgage lenders she works with regularly sent emails yesterday just to make sure. The NAR and MAR also sent out emails. She knows.
The relationship between a realtor and her client is a close one. We spend weeks and months talking on the phone, emailing, texting, and seeing homes IRL together. We learn our clients’ likes and dislikes. We hear his initial reaction to each home. We see his body language as we go from room to room. We come to understand what he is searching for.
This is the key question: What does the client, your FAMBUDS, truly desire? Not the house that you find most appealing but the house your FAMBUDS feels comfortable in. A home is a personal thing. Just because you like the one with the fireplace in the family room doesn’t mean your FAMBUDS will. The realtor is there to serve our client, your FAMBUDS. 
You are wanted and needed during the process. Imagine that you have just seen 5 homes in 2.5 hours. You know the one you like best. You discuss many aspects of the home, contract negotiating, and the financial details with your realtor as you walk through the home. You feel good in this house; it has everything you want in a home.
After you leave your realtor, you call your FAMBUDS. You need to share your good news. You need a sounding board to reconfirm what you’ve just finished sorting out with your realtor. But, instead of listening, your trusted FAMBUDS casts doubt on your decision. They would have chosen the third house. Oh no! But you didn’t like the flow in that home; you hated that house. Have you made an error in judgment? Your trusted FAMBUDS is smart and has good taste; are you picking the wrong house?
Now the poor buyer calls another FAMBUDS. Maybe he calls three - only to get three more opinions, none of which is the same as his choice. Your FAMBUDS, my client, is now confused. He doubts himself. He questions his ability to become a responsible homeowner.
He doesn’t want to buy a house that no one likes. Who would visit him? He doesn’t want people laughing at his choice, or making fun of him, or thinking he made a bad decision. He really liked that house but now he can’t have it; he feels like he has to find another one. But he doesn’t like any of the other houses as well as he liked that one. He felt at home in that one. 
Your FAMBUDS, my client, is now stressed and depressed. So, please, the next time your FAMBUDS calls you to share some news and speak their thoughts out loud, try listening.
Thanks for reading!
Maria Morton -Prudential Kansas City Realty- 435 Nichols Rd. 3rd Floor, Kansas City, MO 64112
816.410.5500 Office 816.560.3758 Mobile
All content is the original creation of Maria Morton and may not be used without written permission.
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