Every Nut Need Not Be Tough To Crack

Real Estate Agent with Keller Williams Realty 0575737

NutGetting to understanding with people clients or otherwise made me think

         Every Nut Need Not Be Tough To Crack.

People can have a tough exterior, be like clamshells sometimes with revealing the truth to you, or appear not to have "chemistry" with you.

But a few keys to getting them to "crack" or warm up to you:

Find something you have in common with them. THEN, they really will open up. Be persistent in asking lots of questions and eventually on some level you will connect. Don't forget as I have mentioned before genuine compliments. Everyone likes to know something good about them. and finally,

PRACTICE HUMOR. Nothing loosens people up and is an ice breaker than something funny shared.

Do you best with the nut cracking. Some people want to be tough cookies with you but deep down most of them really are sweet.


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Sharon Richards
Kirsten Realty Tampa Florida - Tampa, FL

Gary - Many types of personalities, and sometimes it is a challenge to get to know someone.

May 27, 2009 03:18 PM #16
Claudette Millette

Hi, Gary - Interesting post. I find that many brokers ask too many questions when some people want to maintain their privacy.  The trick is to find a common ground that will warm them and not seem to be too intrusive.



May 27, 2009 03:19 PM #17
Mara Hawks
First Realty Auburn - Auburn, AL
Inactive-2012 REALTOR - Homes for Sale Auburn Real Estate, AL

That's a good "practice"...finding a common quality and breaking the ice with some humor. Deep listening will help, too, to not become insistent or intrusive...such a good reminder, Gary, especially these days when we often need to extend our patience.

May 27, 2009 03:28 PM #18
Sylvia Perreault
Immo-Succès/Realty Success - Montreal, QC

Love the analogies!  Harder the nuts sweeter inside!

Very well presented!

Thank you for sharing, I always enjoy your post!

May 27, 2009 03:34 PM #19
Laura Cerrano
Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island - Locust Valley, NY
Certified Feng Shui Expert, Speaker & Researcher

Gary, This is a bit of an art and took me a while to learn.  Some people get nervous having a stranger come into their home or business (understandably).  It's my job to put them at ease so they can open up and it does take questions and some laughter!  It works wonders as your post says!

May 27, 2009 03:48 PM #20
Lynda Eisenmann
Preferred Home Brokers - Brea, CA
Broker-Owner,CRS,CDPE,GRI,SRES, Brea,CA, Orange Co

Hi Gary,

As always, loved your title, your wit and wisdom always shines through.

For me finding something in common is always a great connection. On Sat. while showing property to a referral client this well know businessman was just that, all business. My dialog is inquisitive without (hopefully) being an interrogation. Then this gentleman just lit up with pride when talking about his very accomplished daughters. It gave me a real insight to his heart...for me it doesn't get any better than that!

May 27, 2009 04:05 PM #21
Cathy Lee
CL Design Services Home Staging - Danville, CA

I start with a smile Gary-it is a great beginning to a conversatation!

May 27, 2009 04:21 PM #22
William Johnson
Retired - La Jolla, CA
Retired Real Estate Professional

Hi Gary, The toughest nuts are very often the Internet leads from consumers who want to remain anonymous. But a little time on the phone and you almost feel them relax when they realize it is safe and OK. Not exactly what you were referring to  but it is what occurred to me when  read it. Share what you know, right?

May 27, 2009 05:34 PM #23
Bruce & Mary Smith
Savannah Lakes Homes - McCormick, SC
REALTORS, Savannah Lakes Village McCormick SC

Kindness usually works with that humor!  William is right that getting to know someone online is difficult because people hide behind their computer screens.  At least when you are face to face with someone, you can observe expressions and mannerisms to try to get a person to warm up!  Thanks.


May 27, 2009 09:14 PM #24
George & Arlene Paukert
Road to Wealth, Inc. - West Palm Beach, FL

I've always found if you can't get them to laugh, then it is time to just pack up your things and walk out the front door, because that is a true sign they are relaxed around you enough to laugh.If someone isn't relaxed around you, they will never sign a contract with you.

May 27, 2009 11:48 PM #25
Allison Stewart
St.Cloud Homes - Saint Cloud, FL
St. Cloud Fl Realtor, Osceola County Real Estate 407-616-9904

GARY- I agree- On listing appointments I always bring a batch of homebaked cookies...I get greeted with a smile everytime!   It makes the first meeting much more enjoyable and leaves a plesant taste in their mouths and memories.

May 28, 2009 12:08 AM #26
Donna Yates
BHGRE - Metro Brokers - Blue Ridge, GA
Blue Ridge Mountains

Gary: It's been my experience that those with a tough exterior really are sweet and caring folks underneath.  I am always interested in trying to figure out what makes them have such a tough facade. 

May 28, 2009 12:20 AM #27
Carol Culkin
Reece & Nichols - Leawood, KS
Overland Park

Gary - I usually toss out the tough nuts.  

May 28, 2009 01:37 AM #28
Betina Foreman
WJK Realty - Austin, TX
Realtor, C.N.E., with WJK REALTY

Dear Gary, You must be reading my play-book. I always try to get them to laugh, if that fails I am not sure I want to work with someone who is so inflexible. I consider it a sign of how they may be when we are negotiating. If they are not a little open minded, you are sunk before you even set sail. Thanks for another great post!



May 28, 2009 02:19 AM #29
Rebecca Gaujot, Realtor®
Vision Quest Realty - Lewisburg, WV
Lewisburg WV, the go to agent for all real estate

There are a lot of nuts out there, some I would like to just throw away.  :-)

May 28, 2009 03:31 AM #30
Elizabeth Weintraub Sacramento Realtor Top 1%
RE/MAX Gold - Sacramento, CA
Put 40 years of experience to work for you

Laughter is the best thing going. The other night, a buyer asked me why it was so hard to buy a particular home. I said, "Because that seller doesn't want to budge on her price and you're so emotionally attached to the home that you don't want to let go." Silence on the phone. "You're right," the buyer finally replied. "So do you want to shoot me now or shoot me later?" I asked.

sacramento agent

May 28, 2009 05:19 AM #31
Dorie Dillard CRS GRI ABR
Coldwell Banker United Realtors® ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
Serving Buyers & Sellers in NW Austin Real Estate

Hi Gary,

Well said. My husband Gene has never met a stranger and will definitely get you to open up even if you are standoffish!

May 28, 2009 07:30 AM #32
Sandy Shores FL Realtor®, Melbourne Real Estate
M & M Realty of Brevard Inc. - Melbourne, FL
Brevard County Real Estate, Florida's Space Coast

Hi Gary, Some people are definitely tough nuts to crack. However, we often find that behind that tough exterior, is a warm marshmallowly inside.

May 28, 2009 08:11 AM #33
Fran Gaspari
Patriot Land Transfer, Inc. - Limerick, PA
"The Title Man" - Title Insurance - PA & NJ


Getting caught up on my reading and commenting! Humor is a great icebreaker! Thanks,   Fran

May 29, 2009 03:04 AM #34
Lyn Sims
RE/MAX Suburban - Schaumburg, IL
Schaumburg IL Real Estate

Yes I'm a tough nut to crack, I'll admit it.

May 29, 2009 02:49 PM #35
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Gary Woltal

Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth
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