Apparently I'm not the only one here who gets a kick out of Steven Wright's offbeat sense of humor. I had some positive feedback from the first collection of Wright quotes that I posted. Here are some more:
I had to stop driving my car for a while.. the tires got dizzy.
I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it.
I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out.
I installed a skylight in my apartment. The people who live above me are furious.
I intend to live forever... So far, so good.
I like to reminisce with people I don't know.
I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving.
I saw a bank that said "24 Hour Banking," but I don't have that much time.
The early bird gets the worm, but the seciond mouse gets the cheese.
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