There is a writing that says, "People come into our lives, some pass by unnoticed, some for a day, some for a season, some for a year, and some for a life time."
Who would you think could impact your life the most? Some would say right away, why, those that stay for a life time. But that's not necessarily so. What about a car accident? What took just a second can impact you for a life time. What about the person you have known for a life time that really isn't a family member or friend? Maybe the impact isn't anything much at all.
If you think about it, could you say that there are those that you like more than you feel, they like you? What do you do then? After all there are personalities that we just don't feel comfortable around.
I have found that there are times when friendships become as strong a family ties. You can care about the wellfare of these individuals as you would for family member. What is so special about these individuals? Can you find yourself in the position of caring about them more than they care about you? The short answer is, YES.
As we go about our lives with the day in and day out minutia giving no thought to these individuals, they are thinking about us. Now don't get me wrong here, I'm not talking about stalking. I'm talking about people we know who have a healthy caring for us.
I just received a call that got me to thinking. I like to think of myself as a caring person. I listen to those I'm with. I interact when called to. And I do think of these individuals that I see as on the periphery of my life. But here's the catch. They don't know they are on the periphery. This seems to me to be a catch 22. The call I received was from my stepmother. My fathers last wife. She calls me about once a month. It's not that I don't think of her, I do. It's not that I don't like her, I do. But since my fathers passing I just don't have that much to say. She lives with her only child and he and his wife take good care of her. I seem to think about her when I busy doing something else and I think..."I'll call her when I'm done here", and then something else comes up and I forget. Shame on me.
This lady just spent 3 weeks in the hospital because they found, in an ordinary doctors visit, she had Hodgkin's. Now it's true I had been thinking about her a lot in the last month but just didn't stop long enough to call. What would a call have meant to her? A lot. What would it have cost me? A few minutes of my time, I'm NOT that busy. Shame on me. She almost died; an individual that loves me without condition. What a loss.
Can we really say any of us have that many individuals that care that much about us? If we can say yes to that question then we are rich indeed. My father said, "if you can count 5 tried and true friends when you die then you have lived and died a rich person for sure." Dadism was, "read every book to the end, if you find just one morsel of education, help or wit then your time was not spent in vain." I would say the same thing about the individuals we meet along life's path.
I was gone from AR for almost a year. When I came back I noticed so many who were here and active have not posted for over a year. Where are they? What has happened in their lives? Do they need support from friends? Are they going through a bad spell in their lives? I know we are busy but what could we do?
The lesson in this for me is to pay closer attention to those that want my attention. A client, a neighbor, an AR member. After all in this life, it's not WHAT we do, but HOW we have done it.
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