Quick Jokes for the Real Estate and Mortgage Professionals

Mortgage and Lending with Mortgage Financial Group, Inc

This just in... (actaully I just got it via email.)  The author(s) of these jokes is unknown.  I apologize if you have seen these before, but I am sure you will still get a laugh out of them...  ENJOY!!!

My buyer told me that he lived in the same house for 10 years. When I checked, I found out he'd still be there
today if the Governor hadn't pardoned him.

Why do you have your front door leading right into the dining room? So my relatives won't have to waste any

The sellers told me their house was near the water. It was in the basement.

How much are they asking for your rent now? Oh, about twice a day.

I have a temporary mortgage. What do you mean temporary? Until they foreclose.

Realtor sign--We have "lots" to be thankful for.

Realtor: first you folks tell me what you can afford, then we'll have a good laugh and go on from there.

The dream of the older generation was to pay off a mortgage. The dream of today's young families is to get one.

There is no longer a need for the neutron bomb. We already have something that destroys people and leaves buildings intact. It's called a mortgage.

If you think no one cares you're alive, miss a couple of house payments.

My buyers went through debt consolidation. Now they have only one bill they won't pay.

I listed a maintenance free house. In the last 25 years there hasn't been any maintenance.

Did you hear about Robin Hood's house? It has a little John.


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Chuck Christensen
Your Financial Coach - Bellingham, WA
Thanks for sharing
May 31, 2007 04:51 AM #1
Leo Namiot
Canopy Mortgage - Jacksonville, FL
Outstanding Service & Great Rates
Thanks for the one liners, most are very true and not even a joke for some people, it's their life.
May 31, 2007 04:54 AM #2
Ricardo Bueno
Diverse Solutions - Los Angeles, CA


May 31, 2007 05:02 AM #3
Jim & Maria Hart
Brand Name Real Estate - Charleston, SC
Charleston, SC Real Estate
These are some pretty good one liners.  The really funny part is that most of them are ever so true.  Thanks Jason :)
May 31, 2007 05:19 AM #5
Marc Blasi
Palm Beach Gardens, FL


Just like "waterfront home" in Jupiter = drainage ditch!

May 31, 2007 07:53 AM #6
Robert D. Ashby
Visual Approach Aerial Photography (Visual Approach Photography) - Plantation, FL
Turning Visions into Photographs (and Videos)
Thanks for the post, I had missed some of these.
May 31, 2007 03:45 PM #7
George Souto
George Souto NMLS #65149 FHA, CHFA, VA Mortgages - Middletown, CT
Your Connecticut Mortgage Expert
Jason, this one "Realtor: first you folks tell me what you can afford, then we'll have a good laugh and go on from there." Can easily apply to Loan Officers also. I have to really keep myself from laughing each time that someone tells me that they want a $200,000 mortgage, but only want to pay $1,000.  I would like a few of those mortgages myself.......LOL
May 31, 2007 03:48 PM #8
Chris Griffith
Downing-Frye Realty, Bonita Springs, FL - Bonita Springs, FL
Bonita Springs Listing Agent
I'm with you George.  They're still looking for a 4 bedroom house, on the gulf with a pool and heli-pad for $200,000.
May 31, 2007 10:19 PM #9
Ronda Myers-Waters
Willems Realtors, Principal Broker - Chesterton, IN


Thanks for the laugh!

Jun 01, 2007 05:42 AM #11
Keith Vincent
Maxwell South Star Realty - Calgary, AB
Is there a general spot on AR for exchanging Real Estate related humor. I'd love to hear more zingers and jokes, I've always thought it was a great thing to enjoy laughing at yourself.
Apr 13, 2008 10:15 AM #12
Aida Pinto
United Associated Brokers - Long Beach, CA
Real Estate Broker (562) 884-6196

I have a temporary mortgage. What do you mean temporary? Until they foreclose...funny and sad because it's true!!  Can I use that one!!!!!!!!!!

Jul 25, 2008 03:27 PM #13
Inna Ivchenko
Barcode Properties - Encino, CA
Realtor® • Green • GRI • HAFA • PSC Calabasas CA

''WHEN A real-estate agency hadn’t sold our house, we decided to do it ourselves. I placed ads in the local papers, spray painted a “For Sale” message on a sign board and posted it outside.  When my husband came home that evening, he told me, laughing, that my sign was the most truthful one he had ever seen. Confused, I rushed outside to take a look. In my haste I had printed – “For Sale by Ower.”

Jan 24, 2015 03:40 PM #14
Trent Dalrymple (248) 854-0625
Texana Bank - Bloomfield Hills, MI
Allowing Mortgage Professionals to Lend Nationwide

Please, hold on to your day job!  Groan...

Dec 20, 2015 10:19 PM #15

What's a mortgage broker?
A real estate agent without the sense of humour.
source: http://instanthaha.com

Apr 11, 2016 05:19 PM #16
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