Keeping The Right Perspective

Here's A Bit of Inspiration

Business may be a challenge for us all right now, but keeping our minds set positively is imperative if you would survive these difficulties.

I received the following email today from a family member, that says it all.  Thought I'd share it with you.

Five months ago, on January 15th to be exact, I was told I had stage four malignant squamous cell carcinoma cancer in my right tonsil that had spread to a lymph node on the right side of my throat. I was also told that it was a very aggressive and deadly form of cancer that had to be treated aggressively and quickly. No matter who tells you or where you are when told, the world as you know it changes forever when you hear you have cancer.

To say it takes all the wind out of your sails is a gross understatement. Literally, all of the options and alternatives ran through my head and anything but the one best case outcome was very concerning, especially since there was only one one good outcome and many that were not so good. For me, the impact of it was unlike anything I had ever been told. This insidious disease that I had not felt until it manifest itself as a lump on my throat was trying to kill me and the doctors don't sugar coat the possible outcomes.  This news was a life changer for me. As I sat with my wife, who had the burden of telling me, I tried to process what it all meant but couldn't because there is so much uncertainty and so may possibilities depending on the particular combination of circumstances that still needed to be ascertained. I was shocked. However, there was no denying it, and fighting it was the only option. My wife of 25 years and I have two sons, ages 20 and 18, and I help my aged parents and 48 year old brother with down syndrome. Letting it beat me was not an an option I could or would accept.

So, I put everything I had into understanding what I could do to fight this. I read, consulted friends and family in the oncology business, in medicine and in nutrition. I incorporated the learnings and did everything I could think of every step of the way to survive. That said, I was on a journey that I could never imagine. Even when told by my medical team what was coming, I could not grasp the magnitude of what they were saying because I had no frame of reference for how radical, aggressive and quickly they would move to eradicate the cancer. If you have not been through this, it is difficult if not impossible to fathom what everything means in terms of how you will feel or what you would be faced with overcoming, and that changes each step of the way, and still is.

The type of cancer I am fighting (it takes five years before the medical community will classify you as a "survivor" and until that time, they consider you still fighting it, but in the "observation and recovery" stage), or more particularly, the treatments for throat and neck cancer are very hard on your body and leave significant lasting side effects. The first, and most obvious is swallowing is very different and sometimes difficult. Compounding matters, the radiation kills most of the salivary glands and damages the taste buds. I took both for granted prior to all of this, but never will again. Without both of them, you can't eat and if you try, everything tastes so bad as to be beyond description, but the closest would be dried cardboard that had been by the side of the highway for a month mixed with a ground up old tuna fish can. Fortunately, my taste buds have started to come back, though to a limited degree and just this past week I was able to start eating solid, albeit very high moisture content food again orally. That had not been possible since March 25th and it is a huge improvement. It has been difficult to consume enough calories to maintain weight in the interim, which is why I have dropped as much weight as I have - 52 pounds, though I do not recommend this diet. On the flip side, I had to get a whole new wardrobe, which was nice, as nothing I owned except socks and shoes fit.

The surgery also involves cutting through a very delicate area where there are a great many nerves that get damaged or severed. Without nerves, muscles atrophy and die. In my case, since it was the right side of my neck, I have a lot of issues to sort out with my right shoulder, arm and back muscles, though they will never come all the way back. I can tell you for certain, it is not helpful to your golf game. However, I keep it in perspective and remember I am looking at the green side of the grass and not counting the roots.

I have been asked on many occasions what the whole experience was like, and with no profane reference intended, I don't know if I went to Hell and back, but if I was not there, I definitely saw the neighborhood.

Faith helped me through this. Prayers, lots of prayers: mine and others were so important. I never once thought I would not beat this disease and no matter how rough things got, I never got down. Instead, I prayed and asked God for His help. If you are reading this and are not a spiritual person, understand that when you are faced with beating a disease or checking out in less than twelve months, you might change your attitude and try everything you can, including praying, to survive.

Coming through this, I believe that this experience has made me a better person and helped me refocus on what is truly important in life. For me, its family and friends and treasuring and nurturing those relationships is a priority, one that I work harder at now. Taking time to tell those you love that you do is very important.  Without my wife in particular, this would have been much harder if not impossible to have gone through. As you go through something like this, you have four doctors, three your are dealing with very frequently: the surgeon, the oncologist and the radiation oncologist and the fourth is your internist who is on the periphery. It gets to the point where you need a wagon master to manage the schedule and treatment process to see your way the end of the trail, and while in the midst of it all buffeted by all the side effects, it would be extremely difficult do it by yourself. Fortunately, I did not have to and I am blessed she is with me.

Five months after diagnosis, four surgeries, thirty-three radiation treatments and a whole lot of "stuff" to get through, I feel great. I just cleared one of the three main hurdles this week when my oncologist told me my post treatment blood work was "terrific - it was completely normal and there was nothing in the results to be concerned with". Moreover, when I told him I started eating, he told me I was six to eight weeks ahead of schedule, which I was pleased to hear as well. Next is a CAT scan June 19. There they check organs from the lungs up to see if they are clear. The CAT scan I had post-surgery but pre-radiation was clear and they expect this post-radiation one will be as well. The last hurdle is a PET (bone) scan in September. If that is clear as well, and the one post-surgery but pre-radiation was, then it should be clear sailing to the survivor category, and that is my goal. Based on everything the medical team has seen to date, they feel that is the "likely outcome" (that is as definitive a statement as they make). So, it has been a long and difficult path, but in comparison to what this could have been, I am blessed.

Dealing with adversity is a state of mind. You have to stay positive and can never ask "why me?". How one handles it is just as important as handling success. This is true for fighting cancer or any other challenge, domestic industry, are all facing big challenges. It is important to keep in mind that all you can do is the best you can each day. None of us created all of this by ourselves and none of us can solve it by ourselves. Keeping perspective is important, because you don't want to internalize the stress and let it ruin your health, and stress is a known cancer cause. One of the lessons an experience such as this drives home is that your health is the most important thing you have and without it, you are in big trouble.

I hope none of you ever have to travel a similar path, but if you do, stay positive, keep focused on winning and I will pray for you.