1. Pull a crinkled up earnest money check for $5,000 out of your pocket and say "Oops, where did this come from?"
2. Ask them if you or your seller was supposed to tell the buyer that the listing used to be a meth lab...after closing.
3. Go door knocking...to houses that have real estate agents' "for sale" signs in the front yards...hey, they are hot prospects!
4. Schedule 5 closings for next week and then head to Miami for your well deserved vacation.
5. Tell them how much better you feel about yourself...now that you are selling things legally.
6. Hand in a ratified contract for your listing, even though you handed one in for it yesterday. "But this one is for more money!"
7. Tell them you are signing up with the new company across the street...the broker of which has been their archenemy since high school.
8. Show up for "floor duty" after your Sunday brunch, complete with 4 Bloody Marys.
9. Tell them you just saw your new buyer on "The People's Court", suing their last agent's broker.
10. Ask when you are eligible for your paid vacation and sick days.
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