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Are You Projecting Your Values Onto Everyone in the Community?

By Deborah Ryman

Industry Observer

June 03, 2007 03:19 PM

Because people blog in the safety of their homes, offices, cars, or wherever, I think it can be easy to project out into the ether that everyone in a certain community is (. . . fill in the blank - upstanding, "nice," ethical, smart, etc.)

The truth is that this community, just like all others, is a microcosm of the general population, and as such, there are probably people in this very community you would not welcome living next door to you.

The above thoughts were prompted after reading some "friendly" comments and knowing that behind the surface there are people who are acting, putting on a facade, making "nice," etc.

I think it is just worth considering.

You can't know someone until you really hang out with them in person, and even then, it take years to really get to know someone.

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Nattalie de la Mothe

Maximum One Greater Atlanta Realtors - Atlanta, GA

Selling Atlanta Homes like a Boss

Deborah.. I am sorry sweety ..please help me. what is the point of this blog?

Jun 03, 2007 03:32 PM

Celeste "SALLY" Cheeseman

Liberty Homes - Mililani, HI

(RA) AHWD CRS ePRO OAHU HAWAII REAL ESTATE

I have spoken with a few members and gotten to "know" them. In my life I have "known" people for many years .....only to find out they are sure different when their "true colors" come out. I also have really known people in person and in writing here are down right nasty....again, the true colors come out when only points, features, judgements, competition get in the way...and professionalism goes out the door. So, really hard to say what one can consider knowing .....unless both parties who are interacting are true with their colors...how's that? I thought I got pretty deep....I still have yet to get that book...but I tell you what...if you are anything like you write...I think I 'know' you...haha!

Jun 03, 2007 03:33 PM

Joan Snodgrass

Midamerica Referral Network - Kimberling City, MO

Excuse me? I don't understand what you are getting at. We are all different and unique?

Jun 03, 2007 03:57 PM

Deborah Ryman

Santa Cruz, CA

M.A. Feng Shui Services, Santa Cruz County

I was just thinking because this is a group of professionals, it may seem like everyone is upstanding, etc., but since this is a microcosm of society, it should hold true that it would reflect what larger society would reflect (with some modifications for similar traits such as entrepreneurism, independent spirit, etc., but then there are also flip sides of those traits too).

My comments weren't directed at anyone, in particular. I was just thinking out loud.

Someone asked what the point of the blog is and it is that you don't really know who you are interacting with on the Internet (as much as you might think you do).

Carry on!

Jun 03, 2007 04:18 PM

Yeah....I can see where you're coming from...although I think (out loud haha) that sometimes we don't really know who we're interacting with in real life either...that sounds spooky.

Jun 03, 2007 04:53 PM

I don't know why I felt compelled to write this blog - I think it was more a reminder to myself than anything else.

Jun 03, 2007 05:29 PM

Tim Maitski

Atlanta Communities Real Estate Brokerage - Atlanta, GA

Truth, Excellence and a Good Deal

I know what you mean. But people "act" nice and put on a facade in person also. I think that many times people who are putting on a facade for appearances eventually slip up and write a comment in the heat of the moment. But it's no different than saying something stupid in person. I guess on a blog, you can't get all of the subtle body language to evaluate like you can in person. Just like people can say anything and not mean it, people can write anything and not mean it. The truth is usually in their actions.

Jun 05, 2007 04:27 AM

Laura Cerrano

Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island - Locust Valley, NY

Certified Feng Shui Expert, Speaker & Researcher

Deborah, I know what you are saying and have to say I think Tim hit it right on the head. You can tell SO much more from some "slip ups" I have seen in comments that makes me think of someone in a different light. Interesting post, it DOES take a very long time to get to know someone well....

Jun 13, 2007 04:11 AM

Carole: I don't know if I am projecting, but it often seems to me as if I can "grok" a person from what they write . . . then having the pictures on the site adds additional cues, but we can never really know if our impressions are actually correct. I wonder how often I am wrong about my assessments and conclusions about someone.

This is related to something else I was thinking about recently. I think you can get a lot of information just by observing someone briefly . . . people think they are hiding aspects of their personality, but I think you can really see, if not the essence of someone, at least something along those lines. It's actually difficult to put into words.

Jun 13, 2007 04:18 AM

Lysa Napolitano

Daytona Beach, FL

Hi Deborah, I've met a few bloggers from A/R and others I have interacted with from the internet. Yes, while it is true, some hide behind a computer screen, in general most of them are genuine, just like they are online. For instance, I am who I am, I "write from the heart" as I've been told. You'll get no surprises with me. However, I do understand exactly where you are coming from.

Jul 06, 2007 10:58 PM

Lysa: Thanks for your response. I look forward to getting to know people better.

Jul 07, 2007 02:54 AM

Are You Projecting Your Values Onto Everyone in the Community?

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