Whacky Newspaper Headlines (Humor)

Mortgage and Lending with National Credit Fixers - Matt Listro

Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn't  you say?  
Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter 

This one was in the SGV Tribune the other day.  It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!!  They put in a correction the next day.   

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says 
      No crap, really? Ya think? 
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers  
       Now that's taking things a bit far! 
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over  
       What a guy!   
Miners Refuse to Work after Death 
 No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's! 
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant  
See if that works any better than a fair trial! 
War Dims Hope for Peace  
 I can see where it might have that effect! 
 If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile 
   Ya think?! 
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures  
      Who would have thought! 
Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide   
They may be on to something! 
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges  
      You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?  
Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge  
     He probably IS the battery charge! 
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group  
Weren't they fat enough?! 
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft  
That's what he gets for eating those beans! 
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks  
       Do they taste like chicken?
   Local  High School Dropouts Cut in Half  
       Chainsaw Massacre all over again! 
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors  
       Boy, are they tall! 
And the winner is......  
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead  
     Did I read that right? 


Toll Free: 888-NCFIXER (623-4937)
Toll Free Fax: 888-FAX-4020 (329-4020)
Local: 860-282-6181
330 Roberts Street 4th Floor
East Hartford, CT 06108

credit repair service

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Toll Free: 888-NCFIXER (623-4937)
Toll Free Fax: 888-FAX-4020 (329-4020)
Local: 860-282-6181
281 Hartford Turnpike Ste 500

Vernon CT 06066

credit repair company

Comments (12)

Terry Miller
Miller Homes Group - Tyler, TX
Miller Homes Group and Tyler Apartment Locator

LMAO!!! We wonder why print is a dying medium. Thanks for the fun this morning.

Jul 23, 2009 02:34 AM
Tina Allen
Exit Realty Tri-County - Mount Dora, FL

Too funny!  Thanks for sharing with us.  Sometimes I cannot believe what gets in print.

Jul 23, 2009 02:37 AM
Kathleen Daniels, Probate & Trust Specialist
KD Realty - 408.972.1822 - San Jose, CA
Probate Real Estate

Matt, I love reading these - what a great belly-laugh I got from them. Thanks for sharing.

Jul 23, 2009 02:42 AM
Robert Rauf
HomeBridge Financial Services (NJ) - Toms River, NJ

Funny stuff in the paper!  My son collects the "off" articles.

"cops drop flatulence charge"

"Fish knocks boy unconcious"

"Bear steals Sandwich"

they seem to come in spurts, makes me wonder about the media

Jul 23, 2009 02:58 AM
Richard Weeks
Dallas, TX
REALTOR®, Broker

Those are great stories.  Makes you wonder who edits what is being printed.

Jul 23, 2009 03:31 AM
Kate Kate
San Diego, CA

In light of the recent caulk and duct tape blogs, I offer: Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges (You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?) my Favorite Award.

But they all gave me a great laugh. You made my morning. Kate Ford

Jul 23, 2009 04:29 AM
Al & Peggy Cunningham, Brokers
RE/MAX West Realty Inc., Brokerage - Brampton, ON
Our Family Wants To Help Your Family!

Hi Matt! Thanks for the chuckles on a very dismal and rainy morning!  It really isn't funny though is it!  Make it a great one!

Jul 23, 2009 06:38 AM
Matt Listro
National Credit Fixers - Matt Listro - Vernon, CT
Your Credit Repair Expert

Hi Terry: I am sorry to say that I agree with that statement.

Hi Tina: I learned that lesson last year - don't believe everything that gets printed!

Hi Kathleen: I am glad you enjoyed them.

Hi Roberts: Those sound pretty odd.

Hi Richard: You mean if it is being edited?

Hi Kate: Your welcome

Hi Al and Peggy: I'm gonna try!


Jul 23, 2009 12:25 PM
Margaret Barnes
Windermere Investors Marketplace, Jacksonville, Oregon - Jacksonville, OR
ABR, GRI, Jacksonville, Oregon

These are funny. Where is the proofreader when you need him? By the way, Kate's what is welcome?

Jul 23, 2009 04:28 PM
Shoshana Shay
St. Pete Realty - Treasure Island, FL

These go with my favorite laugh-out-loud calendar, the 365 Stupidest Things.  Today's:

Sign outside Jim's Fruit and Produce, Belle Plain, MN:


From an eBay auction: "Exorciser Equipment"


You get the idea :)  :)  :)

Jul 23, 2009 05:28 PM
William James Walton Sr.
WEICHERT, REALTORS® - Briotti Group - Waterbury, CT
Greater Waterbury Real Estate

Oh, Lord. And this was by people our age or older, I take it...


Jul 24, 2009 05:55 PM
Liz Flint
Century 21 Hardee-Team Realty - Houston, TX
Houston\Tomball Realtor (832)816-8066

uute, I actually laughed out loud on some of those.  Its nice to have humor that doesn't involve cursing or sexually explicit situations.

Aug 30, 2009 04:26 AM