Friday Morning Humor ... ... Some simple humor

By
Real Estate Agent with RE/MAX Professionals, CT 203-206-0754 REB.0759001

The Monk

 Every ten years, the monks in the monastery are allowed to break their vow of silence to speak two words. Ten years go by and it's one monk's first chance. He thinks for a bit before saying,  "Food Bad".

Ten years later, he says,  ‘Bed Hard".

It's the big day, another decade later. He gives the head monk a long stare and just says,  "I quit".

"I'm not surprised," the head monk replies. "You've been complaining ever since you got here."

 

Talking Dog

 A guy spots a sign outside a house that reads "Talking Dog for Sale." Intrigued he walks up to the door knocks and asks to see the dog.

  "So what have you done with your life?" he asks the dog.

  "I've led a very full life", says the dog. "I lived in the Alps rescuing avalanche victims. Then I served my country in Iraq, and now I spend my days reading to the residents of a retirement home."

The guy is flabbergasted. He asks the dog's owner, "Why on earth would you want to get rid of an incredible dog like that?

 The owner says, "Because he's a liar! He never did any of that!"

 

The Religious Men

 A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who's the best at is job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins: "When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his First Communion."

 "I found a bear by the stream", says the minister "and preached God's holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him."

  They both look down at the rabbi who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. "Looking back," he says, "maybe I shouldn't have started with the circumcision."

 

Two Dogs

A poodle and a collie are walking together when the poodle suddenly unloads on his friend. "My life is a mess," he says. "My owner is mean, my girlfriend ran away with a schnauzer, and I'm as jittery as a cat."

"Why don't you go see a psychiatrist?" suggests the collie.

"I can't,"  says the poodle. "I'm not allowed on the couch."

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Rainmaker
4,798,170
Gabe Sanders
Real Estate of Florida specializing in Martin County Residential Homes, Condos and Land Sales - Stuart, FL
Stuart Florida Real Estate

Thanks Ed, all very good and four for the price of one.

Jul 24, 2009 12:56 AM #1
Rainmaker
1,391,977
Michael Setunsky
Woodbridge, VA
Your Commercial Real Estate Link to Northern VA

Ed, simple humor is the best. Great way to start off the day with a little humor. Have a great weekend!

Jul 24, 2009 12:56 AM #2
Rainer
268,487
South Austin Real Estate Blog
Sky Realty South Austin - Austin, TX

Ed, those were really cute and what a good way to leave for a busy day, chuckling all the way.  I love the last one, "I can't get on the couch!" 

Jul 24, 2009 01:01 AM #3
Rainer
5,250
Maria Patton
Village Real Estate Services - Nashville, TN

Very cute! Thank you

Jul 24, 2009 01:10 AM #4
Rainer
98,658
Judy Schneider
eXp Realty - Bellingham, WA

Ed,

Thanks for the giggles, they are all very cute! What a Great start for a busy day!

Judy

Jul 24, 2009 01:24 AM #5
Rainer
157,174
Tom Boos
Sine & Monaghan Realtors, Real Living - Grosse Pointe Farms, MI
Providing the very best of service to Sellers and

These are all great.  I expecially love the Monk story.  Thanks for putting a smile on my face this morning.

Jul 24, 2009 01:45 AM #6
Rainmaker
317,495
Liz Flint
Century 21 Hardee-Team Realty - Houston, TX
Houston\Tomball Realtor (832)816-8066

I liked the first one.

Thanks

Aug 06, 2009 08:55 AM #7
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