I think my mind has finally gotten numb with the seriousness in the lives of Real Estate industry bloggers. Staging homes, selling the next door neighbor's place, negative equity, clients behaving badly... Arrgh, someone has to bring some humor to this place. Ah, finally something I am good at.
A woman walked into a bar and ordered a glass of white wine. She took a sip of the wine, then tossed the remainder into the bartender's face. Before the bartender could recover from the surprise, the woman began weeping.
"I'm sorry," she said. "I'm really sorry. I keep doing that to bartenders. I can't tell you how embarrassing it is to have a compulsion like this."
Far from being angry, the bartender was sympathetic. Before long, he was suggesting that the woman see an analyst about her problem.
"I happen to have the name of a Psychoanalyst," the bartender said. "My brother and my wife have both been treated by him, and they say he's as good as they get."
The woman wrote down the name of the Doctor, thanked the bartender, and left. The bartender smiled, knowing he'd done a good deed for a fellow human being.
Six months later, the woman was back. "Did you do what I suggested?" the bartender asked, serving the glass of white wine.
"I certainly did," the woman said. "I've been seeing the Psychoanalyst twice a week." She took a sip of the wine. Then she threw the remainder into the bartender's face.
The flustered bartender wiped his face with a towel. "The Doctor doesn't seem to be doing you any good," he sputtered.
"On the contrary," the woman claimed, "he's done me a world of good."
"But you threw the wine in my face again!" The bartender exclaimed.
"Yes," the woman replied. "But it doesn't embarrass me anymore."
Put more WEEKEND into every day of your life and don't take life and yourself so seriously!!! I expect to see and hear a smile when I see you or read your blog post <Smile>. OK, I can see some of you out there are still only half smiling... so here comes the bonus round. Try to fake a smile best you can. The world needs a little more light you know...
A guy decides to take off work early from work and go drinking. He stays in the bar until it closes at 2 in the morning, at which time he is extremely drunk.
When he gets back to his house, he doesn't want to wake anyone up, so he takes off his shoes and starts tiptoeing up the stairs. Halfway up the stairs, he loses his balance, falls over backwards, and lands flat on his rear end.
That wouldn't have been so bad, except that he had a couple of empty pint bottles in his back pockets and they broke. The broken glass carved up his rear end terribly, but he was so drunk he didn't know he was hurt.
A few minutes later, as he was undressing, he saw some blood. He checked himself out in the mirror and sure enough, his rear end is cut up something terrible. He repaired the damage as best he could under the circumstances and went to bed. The next morning, his head was hurting and his rear was hurting, and he was laying under the covers trying to think up a good story, when his wife came into the bedroom.
"Well, you really tied one on last night," she said. "Where'd you go?"
"I worked late," he said, "and I stopped off for a couple of beers."
"A couple of beers? That's a laugh," she replied. "You were plastered last night - where'd you go?"
"What makes you so sure I got drunk last night, anyway?"
"Well," she replied, "my first big clue was when I got up this morning and found a bunch of band-aids stuck to the mirror."