I've been trying to figure out what I wanted to write about after passing the 200K point mark. I was going to try to write some whitty and insightful post about looking back on all the things I learned in the rain. Today I was inspired to write by Lori Kim Polk's blog When you walk the same walk as your clients.. The Twilight Zone of Real Estate. She's going through what a lot of American's are going through right now - faced with hard economic times. I guess my post won't be whitty, but hopefully a little bit insightful for those of us facing difficult time.... Yes, I'm one of those people wondering about the future. My husband's company recently laid off people and may have another round of layoffs coming. My husband fortunately didn't make the first list, and we are hopeful he won't make the next either, but we kind of hold our breath and wait, plan for the worst and hope for the best.
With all of that said, I thought i would take my 200K point blog to talk about a little lesson I learned. Nearly every 'tragedy' in my life has turned into one of the best things that has ever happened to me. Of course I didn't see it that way when it was happening. I'll give you my best example - it is a bit on the personal side, so I hope you'll understand and be respectful with your comments.....
About 14 years ago my husband and I were at odds. We had a dreadful relationship, there was nothing positive going in our marriage except our two great kids. We filed for divorce but still lived together because of the kids - waiting for school to end. After the filing, the fighting stopped. It was just a waiting game then. My husband, started counseling. He didn't want the divorce, but didn't want to go to couseling when I wanted him to years before... now it was too late for me. I took the kids and left after school was out. I talked to him several times a week, when he called to talk to the kids. What I realized after a few weeks was that he was changing and I was remembering the old John. Slowly we fell back in love.... the day before the divorce proceeding, I called him and asked him if he wanted to try to work things out. We both called our attornies and let them know we didn't want to go through with it.
When the attornies shows up in court to stop the proceedings, they found the judge had already signed the documents - prior to actually hearing the case. Because technically this shouldn't have happened, he had to white out his name on the document. My husband still has the whited out divorce papers - he keeps them in his top drawer to "remind him of what he almost lost".
Today our marriage is the stuff fairy tales are made of. We deeply love each other and have three gorgeous kids. I can't imagine my life without him and our kids constantly tell us to get a room.... The truth is that without the divorce process, we would never be where we are now.... a happy, loving couple. It was the hardest time of our lives, but gave us the best thing in our life.... our relationship.
Not only has this impacted my relationship with my husband now, but I routinely find myself in situations where I have a friend going through similar circumstances. I let them talk and talk about my experiences with them. I have seen more than one relationship come back from the brink of divorce because they were able to have hope because they see what can happen..... with hard work and faith. This means that not only was my life positively affected by this negative event but others that I was able to help also benefited from our pain.
I can look back at virtually every single 'tragic event' in my life and find the same thing. In the end, life was better, not worse as a result of it..... I'm sure you've heard the saying that when God closes a door, he opens a window. While I believe that is true, what I believe to be more true to me is that I often find that when tragedy happens we are left banging on a door trying to get out, not realizing that we are already on the outside, banging on the wrong side of the door.
Look around at your surroundings and find what is, or could be great.... what is the opportunity you are being given at this moment and embrace it.