It's all about perspective - and typically we only see it looking back....

By
Real Estate Agent with Keller Williams First Coast Realty - The Marro Team

I've been trying to figure out what I wanted to write about after passing the 200K point mark.  I was going to try to write some whitty and insightful post about looking back on all the things I learned in the rain.  Today I was inspired to write by Lori Kim Polk's blog When you walk the same walk as your clients.. The Twilight Zone of Real Estate.  She's going through what a lot of American's are going through right now - faced with hard economic times.  I guess my post won't be whitty, but hopefully a little bit insightful for those of us facing difficult time.... Yes, I'm one of those people wondering about the future.  My husband's company recently laid off people and may have another round of layoffs coming.  My husband fortunately didn't make the first list, and we are hopeful he won't make the next either, but we kind of hold our breath and wait, plan for the worst and hope for the best.

With all of that said, I thought i would take my 200K point blog to talk about a little lesson I learned.  Nearly every 'tragedy' in my life has turned into one of the best things that has ever happened to me.  Of course I didn't see it that way when it was happening.  I'll give you my best example - it is a bit on the personal side, so I hope you'll understand and be respectful with your comments.....

About 14 years ago my husband and I were at odds.  We had a dreadful relationship, there was nothing positive going in our marriage except our two great kids.  We filed for divorce but still lived together because of the kids - waiting for school to end.  After the filing, the fighting stopped.  It was just a waiting game then.  My husband, started counseling.  He didn't want the divorce, but didn't want to go to couseling when I wanted him to years before... now it was too late for me.  I took the kids and left after school was out.  I talked to him several times a week, when he called to talk to the kids.  What I realized after a few weeks was that he was changing and I was remembering the old John.  Slowly we fell back in love.... the day before the divorce proceeding, I called him and asked him if he wanted to try to work things out.  We both called our attornies and let them know we didn't want to go through with it. 

When the attornies shows up in court to stop the proceedings, they found the judge had already signed the documents - prior to actually hearing the case.  Because technically this shouldn't have happened, he had to white out his name on the document.  My husband still has the whited out divorce papers - he keeps them in his top drawer to "remind him of what he almost lost". 

Today our marriage is the stuff fairy tales are made of.  We deeply love each other and have three gorgeous kids.  I can't imagine my life without him and our kids constantly tell us to get a room.... The truth is that without the divorce process, we would never be where we are now.... a happy, loving couple.  It was the hardest time of our lives, but gave us the best thing in our life.... our relationship.

Not only has this impacted my relationship with my husband now, but I routinely find myself in situations where I have a friend going through similar circumstances.  I let them talk and talk about my experiences with them.  I have seen more than one relationship come back from the brink of divorce because they were able to have hope because they see what can happen..... with hard work and faith.  This means that not only was my life positively affected by this negative event but others that I was able to help also benefited from our pain.

I can look back at virtually every single 'tragic event' in my life and find the same thing.  In the end, life was better, not worse as a result of it..... I'm sure you've heard the saying that when God closes a door, he opens a window.  While I believe that is true, what I believe to be more true to me is that I often find that when tragedy happens we are left banging on a door trying to get out, not realizing that we are already on the outside, banging on the wrong side of the door. 

Look around at your surroundings and find what is, or could be great.... what is the opportunity you are being given at this moment and embrace it.

Posted by

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 Author Bio: Melissa Marro, Home Staging Industry leader, Realtor, and entrepreneur offers a unique perspective on New Home Construction, Resale Residential Real Estate, and Home Staging

For more information on buying or selling in the Fleming Island, Orange Park, or Jacksonville, area, visit StageListSellNEFL.com or call Melissa Marro (marro.melissa at gmail.com), Keller Williams First Coast Realty, for more information (904-466-2093).

 

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Rainer
13,704
Rima Hamade
Exclusively Staged, LLC - Sparta, NJ

"More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse." Doug Larson

Not often we come across those successful stories; I am pleased to hear about your significant improvement. Thank you for sharing your blessed story Melissa!  Congratulations, wish you more success. 

Rima

Aug 07, 2009 02:17 AM #24
Ambassador
4,370,733
Kathy Streib
Room Service Home Staging - Delray Beach, FL
Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224

Melissa-just found this post and was touched by it.  I can't think of a more meaningful way to celebrate your 200k.  I also was happy, as I read your post, to see that there was a "happy ending".  Thank you for sharing your story.

Aug 24, 2009 02:42 PM #25
Rainer
213,242
Barbara Heil-Sonneck
Design2Sell - Atlanta, GA
Home Staging Atlanta

Hi Melissa, I will take the end of your blog with me as an inspiration to start our Laborday weekend. "Look around at your surroundings and find what is, or could be great.... what is the opportunity you are being given at this moment and embrace it." I sometimes forget to stop and breeze.... Tks for sharing

Sep 04, 2009 07:27 AM #26
Rainer
57,001
Tori Lynn Wallitsch
Prudential Ambassador / Ross Designs, LLC - Omaha, NE

Melissa - sorry this is a few month's old and I am just now getting caught up. Congrats on your 200k milestone and even more importantly CONGRATS on saving your wonderful marriage!  Your kids are probably also better people for it. Thanks agin for being so positive and encouraging. We all need that now, more than ever.

Oct 06, 2009 07:51 AM #27
Rainmaker
165,807
Sandi Gerrard
Toronto, ON

Beautiful story - thanks for sharing, Melissa.  I'm glad things worked out for you. 

 

Nov 07, 2009 11:19 PM #28
Rainer
18,704
Suzanne Metz
Design to Appeal - Medicine Hat, AB

Hi Melissa! I really enjoyed reading your post! I'm so glad that everything worked out for you!

Nov 24, 2009 01:23 AM #30
Rainer
18,704
Suzanne Metz
Design to Appeal - Medicine Hat, AB

Hi Melissa! I really enjoyed reading your post! I'm so glad that everything worked out for you!

Nov 24, 2009 01:23 AM #31
Rainmaker
272,505
Lori Kim Polk
Premiere Home Staging : Home Staging Services - Roseville, CA
Home Stager - Roseville, Sacramento

Melissa.. I really hope that things have worked out for you. For me, I just received an offer on my house from an investor. Not good, but not that bad either. It all depends on whether the bank will accept it.  If not.... I will have to walk.  This whole economy is silly.  I wish you both strength and resilience. You can do it.  Ya just never know, I could be living in a cardboard box at conference, but boy will I be happy!

Nov 28, 2009 01:32 PM #32
Rainer
21,170
B Lucas-Thrower
Staging - Interior Redesign & Home Staging - Franklin, TN
Interior Redesign and Home Staging

This blog was personal, up close and so very giving. It makes me believe all over again in the blessing that our Lord sends us. We just don't always recognize them.

Dec 10, 2009 06:00 AM #33
Rainer
16,150
Jeannene Edwards
Home Staging by Interiors Defined, Inc. - Orlando, FL

Melissa,  Thank you so much for sharing your very personal story to inspire others.  And it is true . . . it's very difficult to see or understand when you find yourself knee deep in the midst of a storm, but looking back . . . I have been reminded that God's greatest blessings often have come my way disguised as disasters!

And by the way . . .CONGRATULATIONS on hitting your 200K!

Feb 07, 2010 01:56 AM #34
Rainer
131,211
Valerie Sagheddu
Apostle Art Home Staging & Design - Stroudsburg, PA
~Home Staging Professional, Poconos, PA

Wow Melissa your family has truely been blessed! What an awesome story to teach others to NEVER loose HOPE!!!

Apr 09, 2010 11:06 AM #35
Rainmaker
444,306
Melissa Marro
Keller Williams First Coast Realty - The Marro Team - Orange Park, FL
Jacksonville Real Estate and Home Staging

I'm inspired that over 7 months later this story is still touching others... I just can't imagine how you found it, but thank you for the kind words. 

Lori Kim - I never said it in this blog, but I'm glad that you were able to sell your home and it was GREAT meeting you at the RESA conference!

Apr 09, 2010 02:03 PM #36
Rainer
38,588
Michelle King
Home Harmony - Kirkland, QC

Melissa, what a wonderful story. Doesn't it show that everything you fell in love over is still there. Sometimes we lose sight of so much. I am so happy you are together and happy. You both deserve it.

 

Apr 28, 2010 04:55 PM #37
Rainer
253,909
Anna Dovger
Add Value Home Staging LLC, 281-704-6607 - The Woodlands, TX
Home Staging -The Woodlands, TX

Melissa, thank you for sharing. I think merrage is a hardest job ever. Sometimes when i am too critical about my husband i ask myselff a question:" did i stopped loving him?" than I recall days when all of the routing didn't matter. We are all just lazy to admit that we don't want to work on our love. it is strange beacause we are willing to do anything to have our business going and our merrage is secondary. to me it is not like that. I agree to loose in business if i keep my realtionship going.

Jun 04, 2010 03:38 PM #38
Rainmaker
444,306
Melissa Marro
Keller Williams First Coast Realty - The Marro Team - Orange Park, FL
Jacksonville Real Estate and Home Staging

It's funny that nearly a year later this blog keeps getting comments. I guess that it must touch a nerve with people. 

Michelle - Thank you for your words.  Everything is about perspective - we see what we want to see and forget what we don't want to see.... We can choose to see what's great, or choose to see what's not.  Creating a happy life is all about choosing the right things...

Anna - I agree that far too many people are lazy with just about everything, including relationships today.  It's so easy to just give up or walk away.  Maybe if enough of us believe in working at love we'll get others to understand how valuable it can be!

Jun 04, 2010 04:15 PM #39
Rainmaker
509,381
Shar Sitter
Rooms With Style - Minneapolis, MN
Home Staging and Redesign Minneapolis/ St. Paul, M

Melissa, the blog must have come up again for a reason! Thanks for sharing. I have been with my husband 29 years and boy it can be tough going sometimes. :) Good counselors can make a huge difference. Our marriage gets better and better even though you have those "icky" days in there!

Jun 14, 2010 06:33 AM #40
Rainer
213,242
Barbara Heil-Sonneck
Design2Sell - Atlanta, GA
Home Staging Atlanta

Dear Melissa, thank you for sharing your story with us and a great reminder for not taking things granted.

Jul 07, 2010 02:01 PM #41
Rainmaker
684,850
Janice Ankrett
Janice Ankrett Home Staging - Burlington, ON
Staging Professional

Melissa, as a woman whose husband finally got the Axe in a round of layoffs, I hear you.

Your story is very touching and I'm glad it all worked out for you. I'm sure if you have to face another bad patch you will be able to cope with it.

Aug 09, 2010 09:05 AM #42
Rainmaker
433,880
Kristine Ginsberg
Elite Staging and Redesign, LLC - Short Hills, NJ
NJ Home Stager

Lovely post! Sometimes we take for granted the most important people in our lives. You fortunately saw this and you and your husband pulled through. I wish you the best and will say a prayer that your husband continues to side-step the layoffs.

Oct 23, 2010 09:46 AM #43
Rainer
151,531
Wendy Tomm
Beyond the Walls - East St Paul, MB
CCSP, RESA-PRO, BBB - Wpg Realtors
Well I am a bit late to this post, but thank you for writing it. My life as well has been difficult but as I tells others years later those were the times my faith was tested and it grew. All the disappointments and tragic incidents have turned into blessings. Faith is definitely a huge part of it and so is your attitude on forgiveness. Thanks for sharing.
Oct 10, 2011 02:15 PM #44
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Melissa Marro

Jacksonville Real Estate and Home Staging
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