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Tell someone you love them today..how about everyday? Thankful Thursday

By
Real Estate Agent with Northwood Realty Services

Take this opportunity to tell someone what they mean to you, before the opportunity flees and only regrets remain.

 

My husband was an car accident victim that caused early dementia.

  It took seven years of slow deteriorating and watching my husband, my rock and the joy of my life retreat into the imprisoned world of Alzheimer's.

Anyone who has witnessed a loved one with this terrible disease, no explanation of pain and heartache for the patient and their loved ones is necessary. 

I still think of my husband as my  rock, my joy and my strength.  I visit him in my thoughts and in my heart and today as my thoughts ponder a

" Thankful Thursday " blog, he vividly comes into my thoughts.

Why would this have anything to do with being thankful "...watching someone I love drift into another world without me..into an untouchable world of emptiness.

Four months before Alzheimer's won the battle and ended my husband's earthly life,  I was forced to put him into a nursing home.

I had an accident, fell and severely broke my wrist.  I had to have surgery.

The nursing home was to be a temporary solution and the most heart wrenching, difficult decision of my life.

I gave in kicking, screaming and crying but with no other option.

The nursing home was a few blocks from my office. I was at the nursing home during the hours my husband was awake and ran to the office to do real estate when he was asleep.

I was there to hold his hand, to talk to him, to visually show him, he was not alone. I repeatedly told him I loved him.I was alright and I knew he was alright knowing I was there...

but what I did notice.....was.....empty, lonely lives......just waiting for someone....anyone....to share a little time... a little conversation.....patients who for years have had few visits from anyone  familiar.

I saw lonely, fearful, unhappy imprisoned people whose world was a building of the unheard.

Why today this thought has impressed so heavily on my heart...I am not sure...Maybe it is to get a message to others to be mindful that there are those who  need so much of what we can give ...freely...... our time, our concern, our prayers, our visits, our attention.

People are starving in more ways than one in our country, especially the very young and the elderly.  Please let's not forget them.

Yes I am " Thankful" today because my husband, my family and my friends know how much I love and care for them.

I know this blog is personal but my four months of experiences within the nursing home brought such an awareness of the how the power of love can empower the powerless.
   

The essential sadness is to go through life without loving. But it would be almost equally sad to leave this world without ever telling those you loved that you love them. - Unknown

 

Comments(8)

Patricia Kennedy
RLAH@properties - Washington, DC
Home in the Capital

June, this is a touching post.  My father died two years ago this month and was in a nursing home with many of other dimentia patients.  And so many of them just sat, strapped into a wheel chair, with nobody coming to see them to hold their hands.

My mother came to see him every day, even when he started forget they were married.  It was so hard to see this once brilliant man become so incredibly loopy - and I told myself it was the drugs they were giving him.  Every moment of awareness, I completely treasured and remember in vivid detail.

So big hug to you!

Aug 13, 2009 06:22 AM
Gary Woltal
Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX
Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth

June, what a tender loving story and thanks so much for sharing about your husband. I know you have your "priorities" straight in life and giving out these reminders to everyone else to love at every point in our lives is a good one... My mother has Alzheimer's so I know this illness well. Hugs and warm thoughts your way!!

Aug 13, 2009 06:30 AM
June Lewis
Northwood Realty Services - New Castle, PA
Realtor Northwood Realty - New Castle,Pa Lawrence Co 7247304571

Hi Patricia I will take that hug and give it also to you.  There has to be an invisible bond between families that relate  to our situations.  I know the struggle you had being it was your dad because I saw the struggle in my daughter's eyes, even though she was my support and her dad's.  It is tough but knowing they know, ...somehow they know the love of their loved ones.

A big hug for your mom also. I didn't;t mean to really get personal but the elderly in nursing homes need attention and so many do not have the loving caring families that your dad and my husband had.   Most people and families are not uncaring...just too busy..

to address something inevitable...something they can't do anything about.....Btw  My husband died also 2 years ago Aug 1

Thanks for your comment and God bless

Aug 13, 2009 06:35 AM
Mike Saunders
Retired - Athens, GA

June- a great reminder for all of us. I watched my mother deteriorate like that, from brain tumors, though, and the process was accelerated over months instead of years. God bless you and keep your memories warm.

Aug 13, 2009 06:40 AM
June Lewis
Northwood Realty Services - New Castle, PA
Realtor Northwood Realty - New Castle,Pa Lawrence Co 7247304571

Thanks Gary for the kind thoughts.  We find ourselves so wrapped and bound by personal struggles that at times we forget those who are really struggling.  I am sorry that your mom has Alzhelmer's and I will add her to my prayer list..we are all bound to pray for those who find themselves helpless in this world...that is at least the least we can make a commitment to.

I really feel they are so very,very close to ending this monster called Alzheimers and I pray it will come very soon.

Please give your mom a hug from a caring friend.

Aug 13, 2009 06:45 AM
June Lewis
Northwood Realty Services - New Castle, PA
Realtor Northwood Realty - New Castle,Pa Lawrence Co 7247304571

Hi Mike I am sorry your loss and that your mom carried such a heavy cross.  Some how, some way we know  in our hearts how close the suffering and dying are to our Lord.  He too suffered.  He too touches the very heart of those who have had to suffer.  Our consolation is knowing they are in the arms of a loving caring God and their suffering is over.

Aug 13, 2009 08:54 AM
Debi Boucher
Real Estate Showcase Photography - Woodland Park, CO
"Realtor Showcase" - Real Estate Photography/Virtual Tours

A beautiful, inspiring, and well written post, June. I am sorry for your loss, but glad you have much to continue to be thankful for.

Debi

Aug 13, 2009 12:08 PM
June Lewis
Northwood Realty Services - New Castle, PA
Realtor Northwood Realty - New Castle,Pa Lawrence Co 7247304571

Thank you Debi for your beautiful words ..I thank God throughout everyday for my blessings

Aug 13, 2009 03:54 PM