Being A Good Detective With Your Listening

Amen Gary . . .and also listening to what is being BLATANTLY said but ego won't accept.

Like in dating. If the guy says he's an AH . . . believe it and don't think you can change them! :)

Listening and patience will usually get you all the answers you are in search of, you just have to have one and be willing to do the other.

This is so true, Gary - I really watch buyers when going through homes with them their first few times - the non-verbal communication I get is AMAZING!

Gary-All true statements below.

You might speak a word incorrectly based on some FIXATION you have or slip in a physical action while being distracted. HOW TRUE!!!!!!

Listening well just seems to be a lost art these days. I TOTALLY AGREE!!!!

You only can "learn" when you go into the listen mode so you think more of us would grasp this. MOST DEFINITELT!!!!!!!

usually its the UNSAID that counts.  Waiter asks how everything was, and I say Fine.

Hmmmm

Listening is very difficult... we sometimes think we are listening... but in truth, it takes all 5 senses.

We should always be listening for those words that just slip out.. they always mean something.  Nice post.

Gary - very throught provoking, as your posts so often are. I think listening and doin git well is one of the hardest things we have to do, as so often our own agendas and beliefs get in the way of us really hearing what someone else is saying. Not to say that they are necesarily correct, of course. But we also have to watch the body language which can sometimes be more telling.

Jeff

Great blog! Congratulations Gary!  Yes, this really made me stop and take a few steps back.  I need to listen much more, and talk much less.   I do watch body language pretty closely. I am going to listen more!!! thanks again!

Gary: People will only tell you what they think you want to hear; therefore you have to read between the lines. Asking very pointed questions in two or three different ways; you'll get your answer and they won't even know they game it to you. Watch their eyes and how they sit, how they enter the room, it will tell you much about that person. Honestly, I'm not sure most people really know what they want.

Listening is key when working with buyers or sellers. Goes hand-in-hand with asking the right questions based on the answers we get - or oftentimes - do NOT get. Great post!

Sometimes we get so caught up in getting our message across that we don't pay attention to those critical gestures and signs that mean so much more than the nodding of their heads.  Women are the gurus of speaking in code or having a language of our own (no means yes and the like). You are an expert listener. I gotta learn a ton from you!  Love you always, friend!

Following these clues are all traits of people that really know how to listen and understand human psychology as well.

Good information, Gary. I, personally, am guilty of the jesting jokes. And I do hear it when my clients make that type of remark...maybe because I am hyper-sensitive to those remark. The Freudian slip is a little harder to catch for me, but the non-verbal communication I totally pick up on. I can tell when someone doesn't like a house I take them into by their body language. I have a harder time "reading" sellers. I think everything's fine, but ultimately, they may have had a concern that I missed by not being able to read their bod lanugage. It's hard at a listing appt when you don't know the clients, and much easier working with buyers because you've had more time with them.

I think you make a point.  Especially your second point is important because too often we hear what we want to hear, not what we are being told.  It is always good to pay attention to body language too.

Gary, developing those typs of listening skills takes lots and lots of practice until it becomes second nature, no? But I suspect that if one does it for long enough (and what would be long enough? A week? A month? A year?), then it would of course become easier to do. Good points as always!

Very interesting post and excellent points.  At the very least they make listening to someone else a lot more interesting (as you try to figure out what they're thinking).

Gary, I have learned that if you just listen well...most of the truth comes out eventually. Women are great at this.

Listening and interpreting are one of the key skills in all negotiations and sales.

Yes a double comment on one of your posts. Got a long list today with my name HUH. I need that horse to ride instead of walk.

This is real interesting timing that this is one of the past blogs I commented on.

Advanced listening requires some practice, but with time you can be quite the detective in seeing the "real" that is inside people, even if they won't directly admit it to you.