And that's how the fight started!

Real Estate Agent with Keller Williams Realty

One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.

The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.

When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

And that's how the fight started...

My wife walked into the den & asked, "What's on the TV?" 

I replied, "Dust"..

And that's how the fight started... 


A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her
husband, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment."

The husband replies, "Your eyesight's darn near perfect."

And that's how the fight started...


My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, "I want something shiny
that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds." 

I bought her a scale.

And that's how the fight started....


I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.

"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.

So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"

And that's when the fight started...


My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do
you want to have sex?"

"No," she answered.

I then said, "Is that your final answer?"

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes.."

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started...


When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive. 

So, I took her to a gas station.

And that's when the fight started...


I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. 

I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.

And that's when the fight started...


My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, "Do you know her?"

"Yes," I sighed, "She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" says my wife. "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

And that's when the fight started....


I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.

You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed, and little things just seem funny?

Yeah, well, I couldn't believe it. He was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, "I AM NOT HAPPY!!!"

So, I looked down at him and said, "Well, then which one are you?"

And that's when the fight started...


I took my wife to a restaurant.. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."

He said , "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"

"Nah, she can order for herself."

And that's when the fight started...

Comments (9)

Gary L. Waters Broker Associate, Bucci Realty
Bucci Realty, Inc. - Melbourne, FL
Eighteen Years Experience in Brevard County

Cute. May have to repeat a few of these to my wife!

Aug 27, 2009 06:48 AM
Randy L. Prothero
eXp Realty - Hollister, MO
Missouri REALTOR, (808) 384-5645

It has been a busy week, I need a couple of good laughs.

Aug 27, 2009 08:17 AM
Troy Jowers
Pogo Realty, LLC - New Orleans, LA
New Orleans Realtor

Very funny, John. Thanks for the post. I can't wait to put these to good use!!

Aug 27, 2009 09:03 AM
Steve Loynd
Alpine Lakes Real Estate Inc., - Lincoln, NH
800-926-5653, White Mountains NH

I always thought cemetery plots were a waste of good real estate, maybe I'll get my mother-in-law a pre-paid trip to the crematorium.

Aug 27, 2009 10:33 AM
William Feela
Realtor, Whispering Pines Realty 651-674-5999 No.

I always love these funnies.  Sad part is that mnay are most likely true.

Aug 27, 2009 04:42 PM
John Guiney
Keller Williams Realty - Quincy, MA

Thank you all for taking the time to read these. Some of them might be true, but they all brought a laugh.

Aug 28, 2009 06:18 AM
Tom Boos
Sine & Monaghan Realtors, Real Living - Grosse Pointe Farms, MI
Providing the very best of service to Sellers and

Love it, love it , love it.  I'm still laughing as I write my comment here.  Thanks for the morning's huge belly laughs.

Aug 30, 2009 03:09 AM
David Zablatsky
Avant Realty Group - Needham, MA
Real Estate - Needham, MA

Thank john, very good stuff, keep posting whatever you can!



Sep 09, 2009 05:54 AM
Catherine Chaudemanche - Edison & Central NJ
Metuchen Keller Williams Elite Realty / Middlesex County, NJ - Edison, NJ
Full Time, Informed and Involved- Results Driven

Hi John,

I am glad I am stopping by your blog this morning. Good way to start the day...:)

Nov 18, 2010 11:28 PM