After reading Wordy C's latest feature blog: Wordy C: Freedom of Speech is not the same as Freedom of the Press
I decided to post some DISCLAIMERS for my fellow Active Rainers to use.
As with my post about Roses, The City of Roses . . . Wordless Wednesday, in pure Portland style . . . I'm leaving the pruning shears out, so you may "cut" ('n paste) at will.
1) IMPORTANT: This email is intended for the use of the individual addressee(s) named above and may contain information that is confidential, privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive person with low self-esteem, no sense of humor or irrational religious beliefs. If you are not the intended recipient, any dissemination, distribution or copying of this email is not authorized (either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an irritating social faux pas. Unless the word absquatulation has been used in its correct context somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have any legal or grammatical use and my be ignored. No animals were harmed in the transmission of this although the Yorkshire terrier next door is living on borrowed time, let me tell you! Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will be gratified to learn that there is no hidden message revealed by reading this warning backwards, so just ignore that Alert Notice from Microsoft. However, by pouring a complete circle of salt around yourself and your computer, you can ensure that no harm befalls you and your pets. If you have received this email in error, please add some nutmeg and egg whites, whisk briefly and place in warm over for 40 minutes, at 350 F. Let stand for 2 hours before icing.
2) General Rebuttal Email Disclaimer: By sending an email to ANY of my addresses you are agreeing that:
- I am by definition, "the intended recipient"
- All information in the email is mine to do with as I see fit and make such financial profit, political mileage, or good joke as it lends itself to. In particular, I may quote it or use it on the net.
- I may take the contents as representing the views of your company.
- This overrides any disclaimer or statement of confidentiality that may be included on your message, to there!
3) General Blogging Disclaimer: This views in this blog represents the official view of the voices in my head.
4) General TV, DVD, Movie Disclaimer:"All characters and events in this show --even those based on real people-- are entirely fictional. All celebrity voices are impersonated ... poorly. The following program contains coarse language and due to its content it should not be viewed by anyone." SouthPark
5) General Disclaimer: This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to FTC approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may, in time, fade. We have sent the forms which seem to be right for you. Slippery when wet. For office use only. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool; process promptly. Post office will not deliver without postage. List was current at time of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. At participating locations only. Not the Beatles.
Have time? Read more LOL of the Day funnies at: LOL of the Day