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Funny Fridays - Food For Thought

By
Real Estate Broker/Owner with Souza Realty 916.408.5500 California DRE #01262541

Why do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions when healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front?

Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries...and a diet coke?

Why do banks leave vault doors open...and chain pens to the counters?

Why do people leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway...and put useless junk in the garage?

Why do stores sell hot dogs in packages of ten...and sell buns in packages of eight?

Hot Dog

Why do we have drive-up ATM machines...with Braille lettering?

Why does the sun lighten our hair...but darken our skin?

Why can't women put mascara on...with their mouths closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery?"

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why do doctors call what they do "practice?"

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor and dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?

LemonsWhy is the man who invests all your money called a "broker?"

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called "rush" hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

Why don't they make planes out of the stuff that the indestructible black boxes are made out of?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport a terminal?

 

If "con" is the opposite of "pro" then is Congress the opposite of progress?

 

Hot dog photo is in public domain. Lemons photo courtesy FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

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BOB & LEILANI SOUZA

Souza Realty, Bob & Leilani Souza - Real Estate Investment Specialists in Southwest Placer County, CA

Bob Souza - 925.513.3400 - bob@souzarealty.com

Leilani Souza - 916.408.5500 - leilani@souzarealty.com

Souza Realty - Real Estate in Roseville, Rocklin, Lincoln, Loomis and Granite Bay, CA

HOMES : CONDOS : LOTS & LAND : INVESTMENTS : RENTALS

Roseville : Rocklin : Granite Bay : Loomis
Penryn : Newcastle : Lincoln : Auburn
 

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Comments (13)

Charles Perkins
Charles G. Perkins, CPA - Burien, WA

These are great.  Funny the things we do and say.  It's like spending dollars to save pennies.

Oct 08, 2009 06:32 PM
Kevin J. May
Florida Supreme Realty - Hobe Sound, FL
Serving the Treasure & Paradise Coasts of Florida

Bob & Leilani, excellent!  Like, why do you drive on the parkway and park on the driveway?  Thanks.

Oct 08, 2009 06:48 PM
Bob & Leilani Souza
Souza Realty 916.408.5500 - Roseville, CA
Greater Sacramento Area Homes, Land & Investments

You're absolutely right, Charles! :)

That's a good one I've never heard before, Kevin! :)

Leilani

Oct 08, 2009 07:32 PM
Sharon & Bruce Walter
Keller Williams Realty Lafayette, IN - Lafayette, IN
West Lafayette homes for sale

We do live in a society, it seems, that contradicts itself.  Very funny and yet, thought provoking post, Leilani.  Thanks!

Oct 08, 2009 10:03 PM
Will Nesbitt
Nesbitt Realty at Condo Alexandria - Alexandria, VA
Nesbitt Realty is a family-run brokerage.

Thanks for the laugh!

I remember when Gallagher said, "What's the deal with the Four Seasons?  Walk like a man, talk like a man ... sing like a girl?!"

And ...

"Why do convenience stores that are open 24 hours, 7 days a week, 365 days a year ... have locks on the door?"

Oct 08, 2009 10:13 PM
Fernando Herboso - Associate Broker MD, & VA
Maxus Realty Group of Samson Properties - Clarksburg, MD
301-246-0001 Serving Maryland, DC and Northern VA

The last was a good one. . CON gress as opposed to PROGRESS . .funny but true!

Oct 08, 2009 10:23 PM
Irene Tron
Valparaiso, IN

Very funny!  Well, I have my diet coke with burger and fries so I can get those calories from the extra fries I am going to eat, of course.  :-)

Oct 08, 2009 11:27 PM
Monique Combs
Royal Shell Real Estate - Bonita Springs, FL
Royal Shell Real Estate - Monique Combs

Funny Friday ~ I am going to try and keep my mouth shut today while applying mascara! lol

Oct 09, 2009 01:03 AM
Jane Peters
Home Jane Realty - Los Angeles, CA
Los Angeles real estate concierge services

I don't see a Sushi analogy here, Leilani.

Oct 09, 2009 08:23 AM
Sharon Alters
Coldwell Banker Vanguard Realty - 904-673-2308 - Fleming Island, FL
Realtor - Homes for Sale Fleming Island FL

Leilani, love the car analogy - so many people do it here in Florida!

Oct 09, 2009 02:38 PM
Bob & Leilani Souza
Souza Realty 916.408.5500 - Roseville, CA
Greater Sacramento Area Homes, Land & Investments

I think so, too, Sharon! :)

Will, I also remember that George Carlin had a funny one about why do ovens have a "preheat" since they're either heating or they're not. :)

Fernando, in today's times, the CONgress and PROgress was my favorite! :)

Irene and Monique, :)

Jane, since today is Friday I am making up for all the years of "Fish Fridays" that ended up being a hoax...so now I'm doing "Non-Fish Fridays" to make up for it! (J/K) :)

Sharon...and so many people do it here in California! :)

Leilani

Oct 09, 2009 07:15 PM
Yvette Gardner
Keller Williams Realty, Spartanburg, SC - Spartanburg, SC

Wow - those are all really great.  Thanks for posting!

Oct 10, 2009 02:17 AM
Bob & Leilani Souza
Souza Realty 916.408.5500 - Roseville, CA
Greater Sacramento Area Homes, Land & Investments

Glad you enjoyed it, Yvette & Dennis! :)

Leilani

Oct 10, 2009 07:51 PM