Special offer

we're doomed, I say... we're doomed!

By
Real Estate Agent with Jameson Sotheby's International Realty

Just in case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed due to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions that appears on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (but that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos! .You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.  Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (yeesh... i hate to think about "irregular" soap.)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & SpencerBreadPudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (I'm speechless.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the
rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)


On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (well, we sure wouldn't want that... would we?)

On many brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (I wonder what the third option is?)

On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use." (the "other" use.... the "other" use... now I'm intrigued)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (alert the media!)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (insert your own punchline here.)

On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (was there really a need for this label? yikes!)

Posted by

 ALAN MAY, Realtor®   
Specializing in Evanston Real Estate and North Shore Real Estate

Jameson Sotheby's International Realty, 2934 Central Street, Evanston, IL 60201
Office: 847.869.7300      Cell: 847.924.3313      Email: Almay@aol.com

Evanston Real Estate & North Shore Real Estate
Licensed in Illinois

   

Comments(30)

Russell Lewis
Realty Austin, Austin Texas Real Estate - Austin, TX
Broker,CLHMS,GRI

Oh...Man! The list goes on and on! Thanks for tickling my funnybone today! Wait a minute...don't get any weird ideas...

Oct 27, 2009 11:01 AM
Alan May
Jameson Sotheby's International Realty - Evanston, IL
Home is where the hearth is.

Russell - and the list goes on.... the list goes on....

Oct 27, 2009 11:06 AM
Nick T Pappas
Assoc. Broker ABR, CRS, SFR, e-Pro, @Homes Realty Group, Broker/Providence Property Mgmnt, LLC Huntsville AL - Huntsville, AL
Madison & Huntsville Alabama Real Estate Resource

Alan, I'm a little intrigued by the "other" use for the Japanese food processor as well.  And, don't you know someone is going to try out those Christmas lights in the swimming pool...the possible third option.

Oct 27, 2009 01:05 PM
Ian Niquette
Square One Home Inspection - Markesan, WI

Alan, ok so the food processor one has me wondering a bit. And the chainsaw just baffles me. This label is more than likely there because some idiot has done this before. Yikes, now that will get the adrenaline going hey?

Oct 27, 2009 01:08 PM
Alan May
Jameson Sotheby's International Realty - Evanston, IL
Home is where the hearth is.

nick - you and me both.

Ian - I know.. ain't that a kick in the 'nads?

Oct 27, 2009 01:10 PM
Zane Coffin
Century-21 Homestar - Geneva, OH
(Geneva Ohio Real Estate Agent)

Alan thanks for the screen cleaner I loved it and it worked great....peace zane

Oct 27, 2009 02:12 PM
Susan Mangigian
RE/MAX Preferred - West Chester, PA
Chester & Delaware County Homes, Delaware and Ches

Very cute.  thanks for the smile.

Oct 27, 2009 04:06 PM
Dorie Dillard Austin TX
Coldwell Banker Realty ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
NW Austin ~ Canyon Creek and Spicewood/Balcones

Alan,

Great observations on our modern day packaging. Really made me chuckle! What is sad these are in place either because a dim wit wrote them or there have been law suits!

Oct 27, 2009 10:34 PM
Alan May
Jameson Sotheby's International Realty - Evanston, IL
Home is where the hearth is.

Zane - you're welcome.

Susan - for you... anytime.

Dorie - I presume there have been lawsuits....

Oct 28, 2009 12:53 AM
Caren Wallace
Premier Property Group LLC - Tualatin, OR
Portland Caren Real Estate

Alan, how funny that things have to be spelled out like that because of the fear of lawsuits! Love the warning on the chainsaw! OUCH!

Oct 28, 2009 01:32 AM
Alan May
Jameson Sotheby's International Realty - Evanston, IL
Home is where the hearth is.

at least it does prove the "survival of the fittest" theory, Caren.

Oct 28, 2009 04:03 AM
Lyn Sims
Schaumburg, IL
Real Estate Broker Retired

Irregular soap could cause chafing on those delicate parts.

Rowenta doesn't know about that time saving idea evidently.

I'll have to remember the chain saw and genitals in case of emergency?   As usual, pretty funny.

Oct 28, 2009 05:53 AM
Alan May
Jameson Sotheby's International Realty - Evanston, IL
Home is where the hearth is.

Lyn - now I know I'm gonna have nightmares.... they'll include that fella who used to say "Parts is parts!"

Oct 28, 2009 08:02 AM
James Quarello
JRV Home Inspection Services, LLC - Wallingford, CT
Connecticut Home Inspector

I often iron my clothes on my body while in bed sleeping drying my hair. This was the funniest thing I have read in a while. thanks for the laugh.

Oct 28, 2009 01:57 PM
Susan Mangigian
RE/MAX Preferred - West Chester, PA
Chester & Delaware County Homes, Delaware and Ches

Just thought of one.  The sun deflector for my car's windshield suggests that I not use it while driving!!!  that always tickles my funny bone.

Oct 28, 2009 02:43 PM
Alan May
Jameson Sotheby's International Realty - Evanston, IL
Home is where the hearth is.

James - that would probably feel good, but you can't tell.. 'cause you're ASLEEP!

Susan - that's a good one.

Oct 29, 2009 12:55 AM
Janna Scharf
Keller Williams Realty Coeur d'Alene - Coeur d'Alene, ID
Coeur d'Alene Idaho Real Estate Expert

This is a scream!  I see disclaimers like these from time to time and they just leave me scratching my head.....

Oct 29, 2009 03:29 PM
Alan May
Jameson Sotheby's International Realty - Evanston, IL
Home is where the hearth is.

Scratching your head can cause seborhea and the heartbreak of psoriasas.  Use with caution, Jenna.

Oct 30, 2009 12:40 AM
Dale Terry
Yadkinville, NC

Just think for every warning label there was a high priced lawyer directing the language to be used and another fishing for a client to sue the manufacturer. Sick.

Feb 10, 2010 03:54 AM
Alan May
Jameson Sotheby's International Realty - Evanston, IL
Home is where the hearth is.

I know... right back to the McDonalds label that says "coffee may be hot".

Feb 10, 2010 05:16 AM