Just in case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed due to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions that appears on consumer goods.
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (but that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos! .You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (yeesh... i hate to think about "irregular" soap.)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & SpencerBreadPudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (I'm speechless.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the
rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (well, we sure wouldn't want that... would we?)
On many brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (I wonder what the third option is?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (the "other" use.... the "other" use... now I'm intrigued)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (alert the media!)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (insert your own punchline here.)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (was there really a need for this label? yikes!)
Oh...Man! The list goes on and on! Thanks for tickling my funnybone today! Wait a minute...don't get any weird ideas...
Alan, I'm a little intrigued by the "other" use for the Japanese food processor as well. And, don't you know someone is going to try out those Christmas lights in the swimming pool...the possible third option.
Alan, ok so the food processor one has me wondering a bit. And the chainsaw just baffles me. This label is more than likely there because some idiot has done this before. Yikes, now that will get the adrenaline going hey?
Alan thanks for the screen cleaner I loved it and it worked great....peace zane
Alan,
Great observations on our modern day packaging. Really made me chuckle! What is sad these are in place either because a dim wit wrote them or there have been law suits!
Zane - you're welcome.
Susan - for you... anytime.
Dorie - I presume there have been lawsuits....
Alan, how funny that things have to be spelled out like that because of the fear of lawsuits! Love the warning on the chainsaw! OUCH!
Irregular soap could cause chafing on those delicate parts.
Rowenta doesn't know about that time saving idea evidently.
I'll have to remember the chain saw and genitals in case of emergency? As usual, pretty funny.
Lyn - now I know I'm gonna have nightmares.... they'll include that fella who used to say "Parts is parts!"
I often iron my clothes on my body while in bed sleeping drying my hair. This was the funniest thing I have read in a while. thanks for the laugh.
Just thought of one. The sun deflector for my car's windshield suggests that I not use it while driving!!! that always tickles my funny bone.
James - that would probably feel good, but you can't tell.. 'cause you're ASLEEP!
Susan - that's a good one.
This is a scream! I see disclaimers like these from time to time and they just leave me scratching my head.....
Scratching your head can cause seborhea and the heartbreak of psoriasas. Use with caution, Jenna.
Just think for every warning label there was a high priced lawyer directing the language to be used and another fishing for a client to sue the manufacturer. Sick.
I know... right back to the McDonalds label that says "coffee may be hot".
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