A little Friday Funny, hope you will enjoy

By
Real Estate Agent with Charles Stallions Real Estate Services Inc

 Because of the Helthcare situation I wanted to try a Japanese doctor...


Q: Doctor,  I've heard that  cardiovascular exercise can prolong life.  Is this true?  
A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it...don't waste on exercise.  Everything wear out eventually.  Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster.  Want to live longer?  Take nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiency.  What does cow eat?   Hay and corn.  And what are these?  Vegetables.  So steak is nothing more than efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.  Need grain?  Eat chicken.  Beef also good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable).  And pork chop can give you 100% of recommended daily allowance of vegetable product.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?  
A:  No, not at all.  Wine made from fruit.  Brandy is distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way.  Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!

Q: How  can I calculate my body/fat ratio?  
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one.  If you have two bodies, your ratio two to one, etc.

Q: What  are some of  the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?  
A: Can't think of single one, sorry.  My philosophy is: No pain...good!

Q:  Aren't fried foods bad for you?  
A:  YOU NOT LISTENING!  Food are fried these day in vegetable oil.  In fact, they permeated by it.  How could getting more vegetable be bad for you?!?   

Q
:  Will  sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?  
A: Definitely not!  When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.

Q:  Is chocolate bad for me?   
A:  Are you crazy?!?  HEL-LO-O!!  Cocoa bean! Another vegetable!  It best feel-good food around!

Q:  Is swimming good for your figure?  
A:  If swimming good for your figure, explain whale to me..

Q:  Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?  
A:  Hey!  'Round' a shape!  

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And  remember:

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up,  totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a  ride!!"

 AND.....

For  those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health.  It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional  studies.  

1. The Japanese eat very little fat
       and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
       and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans...

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine
       and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine
       and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.  

5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of  sausages and fats  
       and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION:

Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

close

This entry hasn't been re-blogged:

Re-Blogged By Re-Blogged At
Topic:
ActiveRain Community
Location:
Florida
Groups:
The Lounge at Active Rain
Tags:
health care
doctor
humor
friday funny

Post a Comment
Spam prevention
Spam prevention
Show All Comments
Rainmaker
5,272,924
Barbara Todaro
RE/MAX Executive Realty - Franklin, MA
Marketing Agent for The Todaro Team

Joyce.....YOU CRACK ME UP......YOU'RE A HOOT.

Oct 30, 2009 12:01 AM #1
Ambassador
2,750,320
Lenn Harley
Lenn Harley, Homefinders.com, MD & VA Homes and Real Estate - Leesburg, VA
Real Estate Broker - Virginia & Maryland

Absolutely a riot.

Thanks.

 

Oct 30, 2009 12:04 AM #2
Rainmaker
552,346
The Scott Loper Team Bux-Mont Premier Properties
Keller Williams Real Estate - Montgomeryville - Lansdale, PA

Joyce,

Thanks for the laugh.  It's nice to start off my Friday that way.  I have to send a link to this post to a few friends.

- Scott

Oct 30, 2009 12:06 AM #3
Rainmaker
2,459,137
Charles Stallions
Charles Stallions Real Estate Services - Pensacola, FL
800-309-3414 - Pensacola, Pace or Gulf Breeze, Fl.

Buyers are taking advantage of our Smooth Move Program at closing, Choose between 1% Cash Back,  1 years taxes paid, 1 years insurance paid, Free Home Warranty and Use of our Moving Van or Free Survey with Free Termite. Lots of choices but the Realtor should be Contact Charles Stallions 850-478-8811 and make your move smooth.

Renters are taking advantage of our Smooth Move Program, Choose between Free use of our Moving Van or a $25. or Gift Certificate. Be sure to ask about FREE Rent.

EXPERIENCE the DIFFERENCE…

Call 800-309-3414 for Joyce Kelley CBR, CBA, Buyers Agent for Charles Stallions. I only work with buyers and tenants so you get my undivided attention, expert advice on what a home is worth not what a seller or Landlord thinks it is worth. Whether you would like to see one home or ten count me in because it is all I do. I have an appraiser, title company, pest control man, general contractor and most important 3 specialized lenders on speed dial and at your beckon call.

Military Relocation to Pensacola NAS, For Rent 32514, Navy Times Rentals  

Sep 16, 2012 06:18 AM #4
Post a Comment
Spam prevention
Show All Comments

What's the reason you're reporting this blog entry?

Are you sure you want to report this blog entry as spam?

Rainmaker
1,607,655

Charles Stallions Real Estate Services

Buyers Agent 800-309-3414 Pace and Gulf Breeze,Fl.
Got questions? Ask Joyce
*
*
*
*
Spam prevention