What We See in the Mirror

I represent a group of six doctors who formed a partnership to buy a medical office building. And, they formed a partnership of another type: these doctors have a pact. If any one of them starts to lose his ability or drive to provide top-flight medical services, the other five can force him to retire. If there is a vote of five doctors indicating to the sixth that he is “losing it,” then doctor #6 has to retire. I think this kind of pact is valuable.

We all see what we want to see in the mirror. No matter how objective we try to be, we can never truly see ourselves the way the rest of the world does. In the doctor example, doctor #6 may not see his failings. As a result, lives may be at risk.

For those of us who are not doctors, the life “at risk” may be our own.

This weekend’s Wall Street Journal had a great article about investing strategies, titled “Ignoring the Yes-Man in Your Head.” The point of the article is that once people form a belief about an investment strategy, they tend to ignore contradictory facts. The mind tends to seek confirmation, not contradiction.

“In short, your mind is like a compulsive yes-man who echoes whatever you want to believe. Psychologists call this mental gremlin ‘confirmation bias.’ A recent analysis of 8,000 participants concluded that people are twice as likely to seek information that confirms what they already believe as they are to consider evidence that would challenge those beliefs. It is easier to rationalize than to be rational.”

Jason Zweig, Wall Street Journal

Self-denial and delusion are protective devices. At times we all seek confirmation of what we want to believe. Although doctor #6 may firmly believe he is providing good medical care, he is processing information the way he needs and wants to.

The trick is to find the right balance between realistic self-assessment, confidence, optimism and hope. The best solution I have come up with is to ask a good friend, someone who has no agenda, to act as your “five other doctors.” Someone who can help you make hard, objective decisions when life, health or business choices need to be made.

Jim Randel is the founder of The Skinny On book series. His latest book, The Skinny on Success, is in stores now.