Matters of the heart
The holidays are a great time to have a ‘heart scan' with your children. Ask your kids what kind of parent you were, and what type of parent would they like you to become. In other words, how can you help them grow to be better human beings?
At a recent Men's Fraternity meeting that was discussing Robert Lewis' study on Authentic Manhood: Winning at work & home, a question arose about fatherhood.
The program said there are five types of fathers: absent, demanding, distant, involved but visionless, and involved and strategic. The question was what type of father did you have, and what type of dad are you.
I shared with my small group that my dad was absent, distant, and when he was present, he was involved but visionless. I also confessed that as a father with adult children in their twenties, my style was involved and strategic.
Later that day, I had a great idea. It doesn't matter how I felt about my parental skills; what mattered most was how my children felt. Later that week, I invited my 23 year old daughter over to my home for a game of billiards followed by a candid question, "What type of dad was I"?
My daughter studied the five types of dads and said I didn't fit into just one category. She said I was 25% absent, 25% distant, and 50% involved but visionless. It felt like a javelin pierced my heart as I realized that that was my reply about my father.
Brianna said she appreciated how I coached all their teams, but said I was on the phone going and coming from practices. She enjoyed private school, but said there was little parental career or college counseling.
What type of parent are you? Do your children see your love, your character, and your heart? Do your children hear you say, "I love you", "I'm proud of you", and "You're good at ..."? Do you bless your children with words of affirmation, life instruction, and a moral compass? Are you your children's greatest cheerleader?
The holidays are great times for reflecting about giving gifts that keep on giving.
Comments(1)