1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to
immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an
argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want
to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted
sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions
on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my
neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if
they told you how the person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least
kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there
comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't
going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes
after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my
collection.. .again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of
Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my
ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any
changes to.
14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will
never wash this -- ever.
15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring
(Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back,
it rings nine times and goes to voicemail.. What'd you do
after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good
and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day.
What a waste.
17. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
18. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone
just so I know not to answer when they call.
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