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It's Time to Cut the Cord

By Sandy Shores FL Realtor®, Melbourne Real Estate

Real Estate Broker/Owner with M & M Realty of Brevard Inc. BK629999

December 11, 2009 06:50 AM

It's Time to Cut the Cord by Sandy Shores

The call came in this morning. Her voice was filled with excitement. "I did it, MOM!," as her voice echoed through the phone. "I did it, I passed my driver's test!" She was thrilled! She has been talking about it for over a week. "I'm so excited, I can't believe it!"

"Wow, that's great! I'm so proud of you!"

I was excited...I think. Perhaps a bittersweet excitement.

She's growing up; growing up faster than I like to think about. Soon we'll be touring colleges to see where she'll be going when she graduates. Too much too quick!

In talking to my older sister, Jean today, "How do you feel about her driving?" Ugh, I thought. Out on the roads driving. Okay, take a deep breath.

When she was smaller we could take baby steps in helping her find herself, her independence. But, as the years have progressed it seems that each step is so much bigger than the last one. And, she's taking them beautifully.

Stephanie is growing up to be a wonderful, strong, assertive young woman. And, sometimes I have to pinch myself, because I feel so very blessed that she is my daughter.

But, how did we get here?

I remember the day we brought her home from the hospital. It felt like yesterday.

I love my girls and I love having them around. I'm not ready for them to move out and go off to college.

But, that's what we raise them for, isn't it? To become strong and independent so they are prepared to go out into the world and live their own lives?

So, I guess, I'm the one that is going to have to do some growing up... and some letting go.

Sandy Shores REALTOR®, Melbourne/Palm Bay FL Real Estate

Brevard County, Florida's Space Coast Real Estate & Investing

I specialize in Residential, Investment & Relocations. I can help with Short Sales and Foreclosures.

I buy, sell, rent, own and manage Investment Property.

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Lottie Kendall

Compass - San Francisco, CA

Helping make your real estate dreams a reality

Parenting is a weird job -- the only one I know where our goal is to put ourselves out of a job. But as the wise folks here have commented, she knows who loves her and will always be close to you.

Dec 12, 2009 02:34 AM

Kathy Fuhriman

Bear River Valley Realty - Tremonton, UT

My daughter graduated from college in 2007 and now has a great job in the medical profession. While we have always had a great relationship there was a few years that she thought she didn't need me anymore. It started about two years into college (she attended a university about 5 hrs from home) and a year or so after college while she was refinding her independence. Then she met her husband who thinks I am swell and now she needs me again. So when you go through that period yourself remember that she will always need you. Your daughter may just forget that for a little while.

Dec 12, 2009 02:37 AM

Joetta Fort

The DiGiorgio Group - Arvada, CO

Independent Broker, Homes Denver to Boulder

I was excited for myself when my daughter learned to drive, because it brought me so much more freedom - don't forget about that advantage!

Dec 12, 2009 02:54 AM

Kathy Opatka

RE/MAX CROSSROADS - Ocean City, MD

Serving Ocean City, MD, & The Delaware Beaches

Sandy,

And when the nest is empty.... you'll be amazed at how much you enjoy YOUR freedom! But you never give up the concern/worry part of motherhood!

Dec 12, 2009 03:20 AM

Susan Thompson-Solomons

Monument Sotheby's International Realty - Solomons, MD

Southern MD Real Estate-Solomons Specialist

With each milestone our kid's are that much closer to being out of the house. We can take pride in their achievements, but it does little to change how it feels as a Mom (and Dad)knowing that day is coming faster and faster.

I have just one son - driving for us took on a different concern. I knew that he had been taught well - my husband drives 70,000+ plus miles a year. My son's "maiden voyage" when he got a permit was a 40 mile drive home on busy interstate. It was never about ability for us - it was "speed". A few tickets, but relatively unscathed in the scheme of things.

Our son just turned 21 - is a senior in college. He seems to appreciate us so much more now - like not even the same person. It warms and tugs at my heart all at the same time.

Wishing you the best.

Dec 12, 2009 03:38 AM

Anonymous

Denise Fey, Weicihert Realtors Paupack Group

Congratulations Sandy,

I was thrilled when my three sons passed their driving test because it meant they

would be driving under my rules and no out riding with friends who had little or no

sense of responsibility!! You brought her up right so now she will do the right thing..

Relax and enjoy not being the only Taxi in town!! Denise

Dec 12, 2009 04:51 AM

#19

Jim Gilbert

Sky Realty - Austin, TX

We remember the fear we had after our oldest passed her driving exam and wanted to go "solo!" in her mom's new car. She survived ... and so did we. (It's been over 20 years since that event.) Thank You, Lord!

Dec 12, 2009 05:05 AM

Gene Riemenschneider

Home Point Real Estate - Brentwood, CA

Turning Houses into Homes

It is scary to watch them grow. You cannot protect them from the world, the only thing you can do is give them good tools to cope with the world. My 13 year old son already has his eyes on my truck.

Dec 12, 2009 05:51 AM

Sandy Shores FL Realtor®, Melbourne Real Estate

M & M Realty of Brevard Inc. - Melbourne, FL

Brevard County Real Estate, Florida's Space Coast

Vickie, I know that she is so thrilled. I'm excited, yet scared at the thought of her being out on the road. I'll get used to the idea. I know...college is right around the corner, ugh.

Kevin, Oh, I'm sure you're right -they never cease to amaze me. Now, I find myself learning from them on a daily basis.

Debra, Great point. Ice is not something we find ourselves worrying about here in Florida.

Lori, Thanks for the kind words. I know they'll always be close, if not physically, then emotionally.

Gary, I just don't know how they grow up so quickly. Time flies!

Hi TOTO, Oh that Chicago traffic must be awful! I wouldn't even want to think about how fun that would be! I was born in the Lincolnwood, IL area. Ever heard of it?

Hey Ann, It is a bittersweet, isn't it? I'm so happy they have grown up to be such mature, independent young women.

Thanks Mary for the hugs from the great friend that you are! I love the fact they now I get to learn new things from them! First the teacher, and then the student.

Lou, Oh, I keep hanging onto just a small piece of that cord, but I know that I'm the one that has to step back and watch them fly.

Dec 12, 2009 08:20 AM

Sandy Shores FL Realtor®, Melbourne Real Estate

M & M Realty of Brevard Inc. - Melbourne, FL

Brevard County Real Estate, Florida's Space Coast

Don, Thanks for the kind reminder - I know that she does know that we love her very much. That's what it's all about, isn't it?

Oh Jim, Hug and kiss those younger ones every chance that you can, because one day you're going to wake up and they're going to be all grown up. It happens in the blink of an eye!

Lee and Pamela, I love being with them and I hate the thought of them being gone someday. Thanks for the congrats.

Ginger, I'm with you on the driving - there are so many crazy drivers on the road today! But, we are so very blessed to have them a part of our lives.

Lottie, I suppose I never thought about it that way. You are so right- we do put ourselves right out of a job in being a parent. Funny, isn't it?

Kathy, I've seen a little bit of the 'not needing me' thing. As they get older, I hope that they don't 'need' me as much as I hope that they 'want' to share time with me.

Dec 12, 2009 08:45 AM

Sandy Shores FL Realtor®, Melbourne Real Estate

M & M Realty of Brevard Inc. - Melbourne, FL

Brevard County Real Estate, Florida's Space Coast

Susan, You must feel so fortunate to have such a wonderful relationship with your son. You are blessed. I once read somewhee that a teenager's brain is wired much differently than an adult's, and it may take years for all of the components to "come" together.

Dec 12, 2009 09:35 AM

Sandy Shores FL Realtor®, Melbourne Real Estate

M & M Realty of Brevard Inc. - Melbourne, FL

Brevard County Real Estate, Florida's Space Coast

Denise, That's true - it will mean much less driving my girls from place to place. I suppose it will provide me with some added freedom.

Jim, 20 years have passed since your daughter took her driver's exam? Wow, I bet that time has flown!

Gene, Your 13 year old has his eyes on your truck? Too funny!

Dec 12, 2009 09:49 AM

Myrl Jeffcoat

Sacramento, CA

Greater Sacramento Realtor - Retired

Congratulations to Stephanie, and on your good fortune to have such a wonderful daughter! I think she looks a whole lot like Mom! I can remember when my kids got their drivers licenses - especially the first one. There was a feeling of excitement, and a little bit of trepidation! My kids were always so active in various activities which required me acting as taxi driver. When that first kid got their license, a bit of the load got lighter for me.

Dec 12, 2009 10:36 AM

Vanessa Stalets

RE/MAX Elite - Brentwood, TN

REALTOR, Brentwood TN Homes, Real Estate

Sandy- This is a hard one, but it preps you for the ultimate one of them leaving home..at least a little bit. My baby went off to college this fall and we are empty nesters now. Wow, that was a hard one. I cried my eyes out after he drove away. Our oldest is getting married next Sept and that too has been a huge step. I try to remember that this is what we spent all these years preparing them for and that we have done a great job as evidenced by their ability to take the steps. Still makes the heart squeeze and a tear or two fall...

Dec 12, 2009 10:30 PM

Gary L. Waters Broker Associate, Bucci Realty

Bucci Realty, Inc. - Melbourne, FL

Eighteen Years Experience in Brevard County

Sandy - It is a challenge for us to let go. My son graduates from UCF next week. That seems like the final exam for me! You never quit worrying either!

Dec 13, 2009 12:26 AM

Tina Gleisner

Home Tips for Women - Portsmouth, NH

Home Tips for Women

Congratulations on a big milestone for both of you.

Dec 13, 2009 01:40 AM

Joy Carter & Jeff Booker Brother and Sister Team

Keller Williams Parkland/Coral Springs Realty-GreatFloridaHomes Team - Coral Springs, FL

Trust Your Family's Move To Our Expertise!

I made the decision as a single mother to have my mother raise my girls so I could work these crazy real estate hours and provide my family with a lifestyle they would enjoy.

There were painful moments for me where, my mother Nana was a priority for them and not me. I always reflected back to the reason for my choice.

Interestingly enough my girls are just like me, even though I wasn't around as much as I should have been as there mother.

They are strong, grounded, kind, considerate and determined, just like me. They also have their fathers qualities of procrastination and he hasn't lived with them full time for 18 years.

My point is your children do not have to be with you 24/7 to become you. Let's just hope that whoever you are - you are a good person, so they can be the same. (Mom did a GREAT Job with us three kids and now my two).

Our children become what they see. It is a normal reaction to be a product of your enviroment.....If we give them a strong foundation, they have that which to move forward in a positive direction. J

I'm sure you did a GREAT Job with your daughter and therefore should not worry about the path she will choose. Joy

Dec 13, 2009 11:13 AM

Sandy Shores FL Realtor®, Melbourne Real Estate

M & M Realty of Brevard Inc. - Melbourne, FL

Brevard County Real Estate, Florida's Space Coast

Thanks Myrl, everyone tells us that we look just alike. I do have a bit of apprehension. A bit scary of thinking of her out on the roads. But, I suppose that feeling will eventually pass, too.

Vanessa, Wow, one off to college for you and one getting married. Two giant steps. I bet there are alot of tears. But, as you pointed out, this is what we have done this job for... to prepare them for the steps.

Gary, Wow, graduating from UCF next week. That's wonderful! Oh, now you tell me...we'll always be worrying (that's one of the things I do best with my girls.)

Thanks Tina, It is a big milestone for both of us! So true!

Joy and Jeff, Thanks for your story. It sounds like you made sacrifices to give the best to your children. They all must grow up and move on. I just love being with them, that I am not looking forward to them moving out.

Dec 15, 2009 02:51 AM

Tony Orefice

NorthGroup Real Estate/www.TonyORealtor.com - Concord, NC

Realtor- Cabarrus County, NC

Hi SS,

First, congrats to your "little" girl on her accomplishment!

Second, I also am saddened that my children are growing up quickly. I still look at them and actually visualize them as little kids again. I miss those little people!

: (

Dec 21, 2009 01:15 AM

Sandy Shores FL Realtor®, Melbourne Real Estate

M & M Realty of Brevard Inc. - Melbourne, FL

Brevard County Real Estate, Florida's Space Coast

Hi TO, Thanks for the congrats. She is growing up so quickly. I wish time would stand still, but it seems to keep moving faster all the time. All we can do is love and hug and kiss our children every chance we get! It's time to start learning from them, as they grow up to be phenomenal young adults.

Dec 27, 2009 11:47 AM