Why didn't the chicken cross the road?

By
Real Estate Broker/Owner with Turn-Key Properties LLC, Missouri and Kansas Real Estate

The chicken wanted to cross the road but first we had to have an environmental impact study on the effect of road crossing chickens.

Then we had to have the EPA determine if road crossing by chickens was good for the environment.

The DOT weighed in and had to study how chicken crossing would affect traffic flow in the neighborhood.

Al Gore was concerned that chickens crossing the road may lead to global warming.

Nancy Pelosi wanted  a bill to protect chickens at all road crossings, and to provide health care to chickens injured while crossing the road.

Bill Clinton felt the pain of the the road crossing chickens and remembered when he was little, that there were chicken shacks burning in Arkansas.

Barack Obama demanded that all chickens should receive reparations for having been plucked and fried. He renounced BIG CHICKEN and reminded us that we all must sacrifice. He then proposed a tax on chicken crossings. He then appointed 32 billion for a chicken bailout! Furthermore he apologized for the way America has viewed chickens and stated we were arrogant!

The Reverend Jackson demanded that Chickens be referred to as Poultry-Americans. He then demanded that all chickens of color be granted a pardon and that only white chickens should be slaughtered.

Colonel Sanders demanded that all those bumper stickers aligning him with working people voting for republicans be banned.

The French were angered at the use of the word chicken and ran away complaining!

The Chinese were concerned that the word chicken would be associated with bird flu and would somehow have a negative impact on their economy and the Olympics. They then summarily executed 32,000 chicken dissidents, running over them with tanks in Tiananmen Square.

Hillary declared that she had never seen and did not have access to any road crossing chicken documents.

Larry Craig insisted that he was only making small talk and that chickens had a "wide stance".

Chris Mathews stated that chickens often gave him a "tingle up his leg".

John McCain could not recall any chickens. But stated that he saw chickens in Viet Nam.

Bill Clinton recalled the chickens, but kept referring to them as chicks.

Tiger Woods, apologized to the chickens and admitted he had a problem with chickens

Joe Biden accidentally gave away the location of a secret government chicken processing plant when he said; "They took me down there to see those chick things, I think it was under the Pentagon.

Finally the UN came in and demanded that chickens be given human rights, AlGore added we must stop chicken flatulence!

The chicken gave up and applied for food stamps, welfare and disability, saying; "Hell, I just wanted to go over there to make a better life for myself".

He then followed up with "who is John Galt"?

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Re-Blogged 2 times:

Re-Blogged By Re-Blogged At
  1. Broker Nick 12/21/2009 12:36 AM
  2. Kim Tucker 01/02/2010 11:30 PM
Topic:
ActiveRain Community
Groups:
Kansas City Rainers
BADB-Bloggers Against Drunk Blogging
Silent Majority
Tags:
epa
al gore
government
bailout
chicken
obama
why did the chicken not cross the road
john galt

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Ambassador
566,489
Rosemary Brooks
BMC Real Estate - 209-910-3706 - Stockton, CA
The Mother & Daughter Realty Team

Entertaining.  Thanks for this.  Interesting too.

Dec 20, 2009 12:50 PM #1
Rainmaker
1,669,823
Lise Howe
Keller Williams Capital Properties - Washington, DC
Assoc. Broker and Attorney Licensed in DC, MD, VA,

I love this post - you are so funny! I sent this on to my conservative step son and loved getting this! Made me laugh!

Dec 20, 2009 12:53 PM #2
Rainmaker
1,942,685
Andrew Mooers | 207.532.6573
MOOERS REALTY - Houlton, ME
Northern Maine Real Estate-Aroostook County Broker

The chicken was on welfare, lazy and did not work?

Dec 20, 2009 12:53 PM #3
Rainmaker
244,734
Bonnie Vaughan
Scranton, PA
CNE SFR - Buyers/Sellers - Lackawanna & Surroundin

Love the post.  Who is John Galt?  That is really funny.

Dec 20, 2009 01:00 PM #4
Rainmaker
261,840
Barb & Sal Dragotta
Macomb, MI
Macomb County Michigan

Ben....Too funny...Love your 'no-concern' political speak!  Sal is also an equal-opportunity-critic
      better known around here as don't be shy..speak your mind...tell me what you really think.
      I wanted to send this to his computer, but between Outlook & his SBC he cannot open the attachment. He will have to come down here and read it himself. 
A fun post, a great 'tongue-in-cheek' blog. Hey, we had chicken dredged in buttermilk Roasted in Olive Oil for dinner tonight; gee, did we just cook 3 chickens [ only used 6 skinless, boneless Breast
pieces]; So Sorry. The Colonel had better rephrase that Republican sneer.--we are & some of our favorite meals involve chicken; not fired, but with Buttermilk [southern]. [bread crumbs sprinkled over] & Olive Oil [Extra Virgin] all roasted together. we should qualify as Southern Something.
Great Fun
Merry Christmas to you & yours.    

Dec 20, 2009 01:08 PM #5
Rainmaker
400,669
Hugh Krone
Weichert Referral Associates - Hamburg, NJ
Realtor, Sussex County NJ

The Sarah Palin came along and shot the chicken, now we have chicken soup

Dec 20, 2009 01:23 PM #6
Ambassador
2,467,030
Steve Hoffacker
Steve Hoffacker LLC - West Palm Beach, FL
Certified Aging In Place Specialist-Instructor

Ben,

Well done and quite amusing if you know all the characters. Is this original? :)

Steve

Dec 20, 2009 02:54 PM #7
Anonymous
albert owens

Oh chicken?! Wherefore art thou?   

or E`Tu poultry!!!!!!!!!!????????

Dec 20, 2009 03:01 PM #8
Rainmaker
830,347
Broker Nick
South Florida Real Estate & Development, Inc. - Coconut Creek, FL
Broker Nick Relocation Broker Service

Great Post - I know of a John Galt in Fort Lauderdale. There is a strip og Condo Buildings named after him called "Galt Ocean Mile" he was the famous architect and mayor of Fort Lauderdale.

But somehow I don't think you are referring to him in this post?

Dec 21, 2009 12:36 AM #9
Rainmaker
77,098
Ben Edsall
Turn-Key Properties LLC, Missouri and Kansas Real Estate - Kansas City, MO

Thanks folks, I penned part of that before on another blog, then came back and finished it last night.

 

I had to make a few edits this morning, as AR's spell checker doesn't know how to spell Tiananmen, and neither did I!

 

Dec 21, 2009 02:10 AM #10
Rainmaker
565,518
Mike Saunders
Lanier Partners - Athens, GA

Ben - terrific, gave me a nice little chuckle, this deserves more visibility. Mind if I copy and distribute via email?

Dec 21, 2009 11:02 AM #11
Rainmaker
77,098
Ben Edsall
Turn-Key Properties LLC, Missouri and Kansas Real Estate - Kansas City, MO

Sure, heck hit reblog too if you like.

 

Be sure to check out my latest publicity campaign also.

 

Buy a House Get a Gun!

Dec 21, 2009 11:17 AM #12
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Ben Edsall

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