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Do Everyone a Favor, and Tidy Up!

By
Real Estate Agent with Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices Fox & Roach REALTORS® NJ 0897458

Many years ago, when my favorite aunt died, my parents - as the geographically closest siblings - took charge of cleaning out her house, and distributing her furniture and other household goods to her many nieces and nephews.  They discovered that the den and basement were full of "stuff" - old newspapers, memorabilia, files about her many interests - and bags of unopened mail!  Apparently, in addition to never throwing anything away, my aunt had latterly been unable to cope with the daily influx of mail and all of the decisions that demanded.  What a mess!  Unpaid bills, yes, but also undeposited checks - many outdated.

About 5 years ago, my parents acknowledged that Dad, who had had a number of strokes, could no longer cope with living in a 2-story house - even a chair lift was insufficient.  So, they decided to sell their beautiful home, and move to a condo.  My mother, then a feisty 87-year-old, was able to take charge of sorting and clearing the house, mustering a veritable army of helpers - including me.  Since I live 600 miles away, I was able to visit only once / month.  My task, then, was going through cartons of "stuff," to determine what was still of value to us, and what could be thrown out or given away.  Guess what?  Some of those cartons contained my aunt's papers and photos - still hanging around, after 20 years.  Of course, there were also cartons of items from my parents' life together - and some of my own souvenirs and clippings.

Time passed faster than I could complete the sorting during my once / month forays to the North, so a number of these cartons found their way to the storage room at the condo.  My father died last year.  This year, Mother found that she could no longer cope with the condo and making meals, and chose to move to a retirement home, where she would have a large measure of independence, but others would make the meals.  Last Spring, then, I found myself faced with some of those same cartons.  I made more progress on the cartons, this time, but could not get to the drawers and shelves, which my mother - legally blind from macular degeneration - was now unable to address, herself.

The move from the condo to the retirement home was complex, involving 5 different moves:  most to the What is in those cartons?retirement home, a lot to me in New Jersey, some to a neighboring city for nieces and great-nieces, some to the Salvation Army, and some to the dump.  A wonderful moving planner, who specializes in the needs of the elderly, organized everything for us.  Nevertheless, a lot of Mother's household belongings that she no longer had space for, were moved with her.  And so, the sorting and tossing has continued, once / month, ever since.

Through all of this year's moving stresses, I have been thinking of the first piece of advice we give our sellers: get rid of everything you no longer need, and don't plan to take with you.  In other words, "tidy up" and de-clutter your house, so that it looks more spacious to potential buyers.  It's difficult advice for many people to take, because it involves a lot of decision-making and sheer labor.  Ultimately, however, making that effort leads to an earlier sale and a much smoother move.

Look around your own home.  How much of that advice should you be taking, yourself?  Even if you don't plan to move in the near future, consider the challenges you will face when you do have to move - and are just that much older, with that much more "stuff" to deal with.  Suppose a calamity should strike - as they do, far too often - and you are unable to make those decisions, yourself.  Who will be left to cope with your collection of memorabilia and "stuff"?  Your children?  Your grand-children?  A disinterested estate agent?

And so, I recommend that each of us tackle one room each month, and clear it out.  Our homes will look better, we will have a sense of accomplishment, and our families will bless us!  I plan to take my own advice.

 

Robin Taylor Roth
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices Fox & Roach REALTORS® - Metuchen, NJ
24K Gold Customer Service

An, you are definitely a candidate for sainthood!  Hope your own clean-up efforts provide satisfaction.

Roland, what we see as we squire buyers around makes you wonder what advice other REALTORS offer their clients, doesn't it?

Just 6 months, Nathan? You're tough! On the other hand, you have the proof that it's an effective policy.

Thanks, Everyone!

... Robin

Dec 21, 2009 02:24 PM
Emily Lowe
RE/MAX Homes and Estates, Lipman Group - Nashville, TN
Nashville TN Realtor

Very true Robin!  I am even setting aside some time over the holidays to continue and declutter my own home - too much stuff builds up over time!

Dec 21, 2009 03:41 PM
Kirsten Lindquist
Pacific Union International - Sonoma, CA
Realtor - Sonoma Wine Country

Thank You Robin.  I've been pondering the value of all my stuff and realize that I could use that mental energy on so many other things!  Out Out Out it goes.

Dec 21, 2009 03:49 PM
Bob & Carolin Benjamin
Benjamin Realty LLC - Gold Canyon, AZ
East Phoenix Arizona Homes

Definitely important to keep papers, important docs and such in a manageable state -- never know when someone might have to step in and help out.

Dec 21, 2009 04:23 PM
Frank Castaldini
Compass - San Francisco, CA
Realtor - Homes for Sale in San Francisco

This is something I've been working on for some time.  In fact, it's been on my list every year as a goal to clean out the clutter in my office.  I'm happy to say I've made some real progress in the past few weeks.  I really am looking forward to the day when it's nearly minimalist.  Unfortunately, I grow attached to things and have a hard time getting rid of them...but I'm getting better.  Progress, not perfection!

Dec 21, 2009 05:08 PM
Wendy Rich-Soto, Realtor/Broker Associate
Keller Williams Realty, LA Harbor - San Pedro, CA
" A great Realtor? Everyone knows it's Wendy!

It is hard to purge but sometimes if you really think about what clutter you have in front of you and ask yourself why you are keeping it...you decide it is time to dump it after all.  To do that and really clean up a space is so relaxing once all the hard work is done. 

Dec 21, 2009 06:05 PM
Robin Dampier REALTOR®
Coldwell Banker King - Hendersonville, NC
Hendersonville & Western NC Real Estate Source

I generally try to declutter impersonal objects in my own home (it is painful), BUT, I have a problem over items that recall memories which was what I was getting rid of at this time -- Silly Beanie Babies and even some clothes from years ago (like a Marine Ball gown.)  These items have now departed the Nett household!

I work with a lot of seniors (and am one) and how we live today we tend to keep items that remind us of pleasant things, memories.  I've seen families come in to clear out a property who don't even look at what I knew were treasured by the deceased such as photo albums.  I also understand from the families point of view -- they had to take off from work to deal with the issue, they have no room at their locations for "stuff" and frankly -- just can't deal with the emotions or don't care.  People used to live in the same place more or less from birth to death or at least in a nearby location.  In today's world we are spread all around the country and world.

When my husband and I moved from VA to NC I can still remember my mother saying to me that she saw me more often when I lived overseas for 12 years.  I didn't understand what she meant than but I do now at 68 myself.  I know she has/had saved every card I ever sent her and when my step father currently aged 94 departs I will see all those letters/cards again.  Even if I just read again what I wrote and then throw them away -- it will mean something to me. 

I know it's a hardship for the family or whoever has to clean out what had been a home but those memories were quite often soooo important to those who were living there and I think should be respected.  After all, if it's just a matter of empying the house call on the Salvation Army or many other organizations to basically do it for free.

What's most important is keeping financial, etc info in one place and made aware and accessible to whoever will be in charge when the need arises.

Sue of Robin and Sue

Dec 21, 2009 06:26 PM
Al Wright
Affordable Canadian Home Inspections - Hamilton, ON
Have your inspections performed the Wright Way

I find that when two singles buy a home together that neither want to get rid of the things that they have two of and end up becoming packrats. Key it if you haven't used it in over a year, you probably won't need it - Through it out or give to someone less fortunate

Dec 21, 2009 10:29 PM
Joe Pryor
The Virtual Real Estate Team - Oklahoma City, OK
REALTOR® - Oklahoma Investment Properties

Last year after a life threatening illness, I came to the conclusion that the more stuff i held onto the more cluttered my psyche was. It is not about materialism that shows people how great you are and defines you, it is about attachments to things that aren't really that important.

Dec 21, 2009 11:27 PM
Anonymous
Rosemarie Heindel

Robin:

My husband and I recently (October) went through this experience ourselves.  My husband's mother's health had failed to the point she could no longer take care of herself, did not have enough money to go into a retirement home, so we made the decision to move her into our home in Georgia. 

This was no easy process.  First, she didn't want to leave her 20 year old single wide trailer in Pennsylvania where she had spent her entire life.  She was VERY independent and a hoarder.  It took a family intervention and the help of her doctor to help her realize it was time to depend on her children. 

My husband and his brother (who lives in Tennessee) took one week of sorting through mounds of STUFF (over a TON was taken to the local dump and weighed) to even see the floor of her trailer.  She had sticky notes all over the house, did not have any written instructions to what she owed, who she was securing services for (heating, garbage, etc.).  The list went on and on.  To make a long story short, she had only 3 weeks with us in Georgia before she passed away. 

We are still sorting through the last remaining box of things we brought home with us.  You gave good advice everyone should take.  My husband and I are the complete opposites of his mother.  We are always taking opportunities to sort through and discard/donate things we don't use anymore.  Another thing we don't do is purchase more things. 

Dec 22, 2009 12:54 AM
#38
Barbie Burke
Respect Realty - Tempe, AZ

That is a great story since we all know people (including ourselves) who need to clean up their homes for many reasons.  If you are into feng shui at all they do promote that getting rid of clutter is paramount to cleaning up and letting new things come into your consciousness.

Dec 22, 2009 01:30 AM
Michelle Francis
Tim Francis Realty LLC - Atlanta, GA
Realtor, Buckhead Atlanta Homes for Sale & Lease

Robin, So true. I tell folks the first step to getting ready to sell is going through your house and purging.  I suggest they make three groupings, what stays, trash and donation pile.  Then I proceed to tell them, why do you want to move junk you don't want to your new place.  Obviously, it's a lot easier if you keep up with this to begin with.  I am trying to do that myself and teach our children this.  It's a great feeling of freedom to get rid of stuff you don't need or use.  All the best, Michelle

Dec 22, 2009 04:14 AM
Michelle Minch
Moving Mountains Design Home Staging, Pasadena, CA - Los Angeles, CA
Home Staging Los Angeles and Orange County, CA

Robin: I used to be an accumulator of stuff. Now my husband and I  are trying to simplify our life and so we regularly take stuff to Goodwill and have yard sales 2x/yr. I can't tell you how good it makes me feel to see space on a shelf or in a closet.

My in-laws lived in the same house for 40 years. When they had to be moved to assisted living, my husband and her sister spent weeks (literally) sorting through stuff - some went to my husband and his sister, some went to Goodwill, and a lot went into a dumpster. Towards the end of the cleanup process, they had to hire a dump truck and a tractor with a big scoop to get rid of the rest.We learned a big lesson from his parents.

As Barbie mentioned, clutter is a big no-no in Feng Shui. It causes all kinds of blockages in our lives and with our health.

 

Dec 22, 2009 04:17 AM
Barbara Calwhite
Keller Williams Realty of Southwest Missouri - Joplin, MO
417-438-7387 Specializing in Relocation

Barbara CalwhiteGreat suggestion!! My sister and I had the bulk of the work cleaning out our folk's house after our father died and mother needed a nursing facility.  It took weeks and we still have a few boxes that my sister would love to have gone.

I am going to use the room a month suggestion.  Happy cleaning to everyone in the new year.

 

Barbara Calwhite

Dec 22, 2009 04:47 AM
Barbara Calwhite
Keller Williams Realty of Southwest Missouri - Joplin, MO
417-438-7387 Specializing in Relocation

Barbara CalwhiteGreat suggestion!! My sister and I had the bulk of the work cleaning out our folk's house after our father died and mother needed a nursing facility.  It took weeks and we still have a few boxes that my sister would love to have gone.

I am going to use the room a month suggestion.  Happy cleaning to everyone in the new year.

 

Barbara Calwhite

Dec 22, 2009 04:48 AM
Mary Strang
Viroqua, WI

I lost a loved one a few years ago and had to clear out his life's accumulation.  It actually took me about 3 years to do this and go through everything to do the same thing you did. Give to family, toss or sell, fortunately I had the luxury of time on that. Now I have to look at myself, being in my new house for 8 years, not much has gone out, might be time to purge.

Dec 22, 2009 04:48 AM
Faye Y. Taylor
StepStone Realty, LLC - Floresville, TX
Country Living with City Convenience -Wilson Co TX

A friend who went thru a divorce stored her "stuff" until she could get back.  3 yrs later she said she realized she did not need that stuff and had paid storage fees for 3 yrs on stuff she was going to throw away.

I am a hoarder & my hubby is a purger so we argue about what to keep.  Then I have learned what do I need it for?  We don't even look at old pictures of the family very often.

Dec 22, 2009 05:47 AM
Michelle Gibson
Hansen Real Estate Group Inc. - Wellington, FL
REALTOR

Robin - I can't stand clutter, so I'm constantly going through my house looking for items our family no longer needs. 

Dec 22, 2009 10:38 AM
Team GMS
Moretti Realty Century 21 - South Plainfield, NJ

Great Post...When so many Americans are suffering hard times, it's a great time to donate your unwanted items...Don't forget our local pound/animal rescue loves old sheets, blankets and towels.

Feb 16, 2010 06:44 AM
Anonymous
Robin Taylor Roth

What a splendid idea, Tara - donate useable household goods!

Many thanks.

Feb 17, 2010 02:23 AM
#48