Twas the night before Christmas

By
Mortgage and Lending with Paramount Residential Mortgage Group, Inc NMLS# 262906

I had to post this after the two marathon loans I just got to closing - Enjoy!!

'Twas an hour before closing and the agents were tense,
to close Christmas Eve just didn't make sense.
But the seller was booked on the 6 o'clock flight
and had warned "THERE WILL BE A CLOSING TONIGHT!"
The agents agreed because business was dead,
and visions of commission checks danced in their heads.

The loan was approved by the lender's good grace,
Everyone knew 'twas a borderline case.
The buyers divorced, remarried again,
Divorced once more, and now were just friends.
The loan package complete to the closer was carried,
With instructions to close before they remarried.

The title policy arrived via UPS,
From page One through Sixteen, a terrible MESS!
An improper legal, 3 judgments, a lien,
But a few lines on page seven, looked pretty clean.
The title was cleared and the closing was set,
But to finish today was not a sure bet.  

The closer dashed in waving her HUD,
It was covered with whiteout, coffee and crud.
But down in the corner you barely could see,
that the buyer still owed a buck thirty-three.
So the closer extracted a bill from her compact,
And the agents agreed to the rest on the contract.

To add some interest, the seller revealed,
to everyone's horror - the well wasn't sealed.
And, oh yes, he wanted to change the disclosure,
His mother just died of RADON EXPOSURE!
Everything else in his house was O.K.
(his cracked floors and walls were always that way)

About that time the buyer chimed in,
"we'd like to continue, but before we begin,
I noticed these papers - I'm likely to blame,
But I gave my agents the wrong legal name,
And one more thing I had hoped to avoid,
Does it really matter if I'm self-employed?"

About this time the closer exploded.
She pulled out a gun and said it was loaded.
Everyone froze and sat there amazed,
She frothed at the mouth and her eyes were both glazed.

More rapid than eagles, her curses they came;
she bristled and spouted and called them BAD names.
"THE CLOSING IS OFF, DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR??
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL - NOW GET OUT OF HERE!"

close

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Tags:
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twas the night before christmas

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Rainmaker
3,978,739
William Feela
WHISPERING PINES REALTY - North Branch, MN
Realtor, Whispering Pines Realty 651-674-5999 No.

If there is a real hero in the Real Estate transaction it is the closing agent.  They are so under paid!

Dec 23, 2009 09:22 AM #1
Rainer
30,731
Misty Spitler Jenkins
Skyline Team Real Estate - Strasburg, VA
Building a Relationship one Client at a time!

That was great!  I needed a good laugh.

Dec 23, 2009 09:37 AM #2
Rainer
46,064
Jessica Steele
Welcome Home Realty - Surprise, AZ

Hahahaha! Blahhahahaha! Thanks for that. I will be sharing that with my colleagues. Merry Christmas!

Dec 23, 2009 10:37 AM #3
Rainer
74,375
Dan Magstadt
Paramount Residential Mortgage Group, Inc - Lake City, FL

The funny thing is that the sequence of events is pretty close to my two closings today!!

Dec 23, 2009 11:01 AM #4
Rainmaker
1,312,585
Nick T Pappas
Assoc. Broker/Broker ABR, CRS, SFR, e-Pro, @Homes Realty Group, @HomesBirmingham & Providence Property Mgmnt, LLC Hun... - Huntsville, AL
Madison & Huntsville Alabama Real Estate Resource

Dan, this was funny and it all rhymed and came together well...well done and Happy Holidays to you.

Dec 24, 2009 01:42 PM #5
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Rainer
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Dan Magstadt

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