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LOVE - LOVE WILL KEEP US TOGETHER

By
Real Estate Agent with Rosen Company West/Diversified Real Estate Consultants L.L.C

 

Love can be fleeting, but the declining housing market may last for years.  They say love will keep us together, but there's nothing like a bad economy to seal the deal and draw families in under the same roof.  It isn't that much different from when I grew up in South Philadelphia.  You got married, bought a car and a bedroom set with what was left of your wedding money, moved back in your old bedroom on the third floor of you parent's row house until you and your spouse could save enough money to rent or buy a place. 

We are in a bad economy, one that might not turn around for years.  Foreclosures have gone up, property values have gone down, and people are getting cut back on hours or losing their jobs altogether.  These are circumstances that are making an impact on family dynamics across the board.  Some relatives who may have never considered living together are huddling under the same roof, sharing the Christmas Tree eating microwave popcorn while they watch Frank Capra's "It's a Wonderful Life" on the big-screen.  They pitch in together to save body and soul from homelessness and destitution. 

Siblings are moving in together to share rent or mortgage payments.  Kids who have left home are circling back like homing pidgins to stick out the hard times with mom and dad until the smoke clears.  

In many cases people who lose their homes have no place to go.  If you are living paycheck to paycheck and things go from bad to worse you are probably going to look for a port in the storm.  Sometimes there aren't that many ports besides that door that leads you back to your family's home, so you may very well wind up living with your brother and sister or your mom and dad.   

Foreclosure filings surpassed 3 million in 2008, according to a recent report by RealtyTrac. The report also shows that one in 54 homes received at least one foreclosure filing during the year.  That's not a good national average. 

Nearly 3.5 million brothers or sisters are living together according to 2007 Census Data, that's up from 3 million in 2000. And 3.6 million parents live with their adult children, up from 2.3 million. About 6.7 million householders live with other relatives, such as aunts or cousins, compared with 4.8 million in 2000.

It's questionable wheter all this cuddling is good or a bad?  It sure has to be better than being homeless and destitute.  On the other hand people are surely being challenged by age differences, lifestyle differences, and cultural gap differences - "Turn that goddamn Rap Music down Junior or I'll kill you."   

When people are forced to retreat from their lives and move down the ladder of life's successes there is normally a loss of self worth and self esteem - it's just human nature to feel an ego crunch.  It gets real ugly when there isn't enough money to go around and folks start fighting over crumbs at the dinner table - crumbs that never mattered before.    

This togetherness thing may not sound like its all fun and games but I wouldn't be the one to put it down, not for a minute. In the end with all the problems inherent from living in close quarters won't seem like much if it brings families closer together.  Family members often go through life never knowing who their loved ones really are.  Now there's an opportunity to find out.  People should make the best of it.   I only wish I had a place to run for shelter should times get bad for me.  Unfortunately most of my family has passed away or gone crazy.      

Guy Thomas
WR Starkey Mortgage - Colorado Springs, CO

Robin, I think you have shown a great attitude about what has been happening. This solution may help people reconnect and get back to basics. There is nothing wrong with that.

Dec 28, 2009 01:15 PM
Jean Kelly
,GRI, Kiser Realty - The La Cita Group - Titusville, FL

Robin:  The Crazy comment is indicative of deep troubles, troubles that may or may not be related to the economy... Thank God for crazy, for without it, we might go insane.  Peace to you and yours.  Enjoyed the analysis, it's a shame but very likely at least more than half true.  I have a niece who is getting a lot of pressure from her sister for not "helping her" and her family, who live in a $400K home and have a $100K mobile home.. They do need help... sorting out their priorities.

 

Dec 28, 2009 01:25 PM
Vanessa Stalets
RE/MAX Elite - Brentwood, TN
REALTOR, Brentwood TN Homes, Real Estate

Robin, most of mine have passed or gone crazy too! Lol My son may be moving back in to save money while he is college. I love and hate the idea all at the same time~

Dec 29, 2009 12:49 AM
Deborah Grimaldi
Grimaldi Appraisal Services - Cranston, RI
(401) 837-9633

I see it all the time, people pooling the money together and all living under one roof in order to make it work.

Dec 29, 2009 01:00 AM
Doug Patterson
Park Place Real Estate, Broker-In-Charge - Winston-Salem, NC
CRS, ABR, Broker-In-Charge

May I just go ahead and slit my wrists. 

Dec 29, 2009 02:21 AM
Gene Riemenschneider
Home Point Real Estate - Brentwood, CA
Turning Houses into Homes

I understand the divorce rate is down too.  People have been living way over their heads for too long in this country and the problem is coming home to roost.

Dec 29, 2009 02:55 AM
Bill Gillhespy
16 Sunview Blvd - Fort Myers Beach, FL
Fort Myers Beach Realtor, Fort Myers Beach Agent - Homes & Condos

Hi Robin,  Cute analogy !   Wonder what happened to that duo ?   Actually, our market has been steadily improving and the buyers are coming in to scoop up the best deals !

Dec 29, 2009 05:04 AM
Bill Gillhespy
16 Sunview Blvd - Fort Myers Beach, FL
Fort Myers Beach Realtor, Fort Myers Beach Agent - Homes & Condos

Hi Robin,  Cute analogy !   Wonder what happened to that duo ?   Actually, our market has been steadily improving and the buyers are coming in to scoop up the best deals !

Dec 29, 2009 05:04 AM
Lyn Sims
Schaumburg, IL
Real Estate Broker Retired

Robin, great post and let's hope that family dynamics can hold up under tough times.  I think it has been tough for so many people that's it's just become numbing.  Things that we used to think were awful are now just matter of fact. 

Prosperity to you in 2010 and I wish you all the best.

P.S.  I hate that damn song.

Dec 29, 2009 07:51 AM
Gene perez
Greater Mortgage Solutions & Valley Hills Realty - Santa Maria, CA

as times get tougher ..... familiy rely more and more on each other to just make ends meet.

Dec 29, 2009 10:22 AM
Robin Basichis
Rosen Company West/Diversified Real Estate Consultants L.L.C - Las Vegas, NV

There's another song worse than "Love Will Keep us Together," and that's "Musk Rat Love" - it's so syrupy it'll make you puke. I grew up in a 1200 Square Foot Row Home that had one toilet with my parents - two Grandparents, a brother and a paper hanging thief.  They all smoked and never opened the doors or the windows.  So far I haven't died from secondary smoke.  Everybody fought and yelled and screamed at one another - threats of all varities were made on a daily basis.  We all had issues - we all suffered from or own brand of personality disorders.  But, in the end it was home.  We stayed together, and as much as we fought we loved one another. I miss those days.

Dec 29, 2009 01:31 PM
Beverly of Bev & Bob Meaux
Keller Williams Suburban Realty - West Orange, NJ
Where Buying & Selling Works

Robin, how do they say it, when bad things happen and hard times hit you find out who your friends and family really are. Many people have found out how to put materialism to the wayside and go for more important valuable things like helping and taking care of each other.

Dec 30, 2009 09:24 AM
Joetta Fort
The DiGiorgio Group - Arvada, CO
Independent Broker, Homes Denver to Boulder

Cultural differences is putting it lightly. My daughter and hubby have struggled, and I've imagined them living with us. They stay up late and sleep late, we're in bed early and up early. It would be very, very tough to accomodate their lifestyle, but if they move in with us, guess who has to do the changing?

Jan 02, 2010 02:54 AM
Robin Basichis
Rosen Company West/Diversified Real Estate Consultants L.L.C - Las Vegas, NV

So Joetta, I am guessing you and your husband are going to have to turn into party animals to accommodate your permanent guests.  You know sometimes we just have to make sacrifices. 

Jan 02, 2010 07:51 AM
Scott Love
A to Z Insurance Solutions, Inc. - Tampa, FL

well said.  For all the jokes we ma,ke about family, they with God can be the one constant in our lives and will help us through when the chips are down.  there are silver linings in this mess we're in.

Jan 09, 2010 06:29 AM