New Real Estate Designation . . . C. R. E. M.

By
Real Estate Agent with RE/MAX Professionals, CT 203-206-0754 REB.0759001

This is a post I put up a long, long, time ago.  With so much talk of Crystal Balls and predicting the future, whether it be the housing market, or the state of the Union with  new presidency, I thought it might have some relevance in today's market.

 

In keeping with the times and the new requirements being placed upon real estate agents, there will be a new designation offered in 2010. The new designation will carry the initials C.R.E.M

This is the acronym for Certified Real Estate Mystic. Since we are called upon so frequently to accurately predict the selling price of homes, or the amount of discounting a seller or bank will do for a buyer, it is only appropriate that we be trained in the proper arts and tools to do this job effectively. The class will be considered but not necessarily recognized by our real estate associations as the requisite training consists of hands on use and familiarity with crystal balls, Ouija boards, dart boards and a magic 8 ball. All classes will be taught by recognized experts in their fields.

  

There will be a session devoted to the proper use of the magic 8 ball. Pertinent to it's use is the understanding that questions must be presented so that answers can be shown on 3/4" square plastic tabs, visible through the mystic opening at the bottom of the ball. Proper wrist roll techniques will be thoroughly demonstrated and offered for both right and left-handed agents.

 

  

The session on the dart board will be offered right after the magic 8 ball. This session requires the class be paired in teams similar to many real estate groupings. The dart boards will be set up with house values for appropriate home styles, and 3 darts will be used to obtain the selling or buying price. This is a technique already used by many appraisers, and was a mandated class with the introduction of HVAC to the industry. Additional dart throws will be allowed to determine value of concessions for inspections.

Boards will be available also for commercial sales agents.

 

The session on Ouija Board will also be a paired session as it requires coordination of two minds working towards an objective. As with the magic 8 ball, it is strongly suggested that questions be kept simple so as to not confuse the occult spirits.

With the board, questions can be presented for value of home features, but the nature of the transaction must be defined before the board is consulted. The board will recognize the price disparity between sellers and buyers and make appropriate changes.

In the case of Dual Agency, each side must be completed before the board can be cleared. After all, even the spirits cannot be asked to resolve a severe challenge without assistance.

 

The final session and probably most difficult will be the use of a crystal ball. This tool is most often called on for answers and is used most frequently by untrained agents.

The use of this tool requires a proper location, with enough seating for all the parties to a transaction. Specifically, the buyers and their relatives, friends with limited real estate or building knowledge, ex-neighbors that asked to be invited along and of course the loan officer. Questions must be precisely presented and all participants, with the exception of the realtor/mystic must hold hands. A session with the crystal ball will require a minimum of 90 minutes which should allow for adequate time to discuss the property and maybe even fill out an offer.

 

Any of the aids being taught can also be used with a computer, should the agent feel the need to fall back on antiquated technology such as searching for comparbles, etc. 

New Real Estate Designation . . . C. R. E. M.

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Ed Silva  RE/MAX Professionals,   203-206-0754

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Re-Blogged 1 time:

Re-Blogged By Re-Blogged At
  1. Praful Thakkar 01/21/2017 03:35 PM
Topic:
Real Estate Best Practices
Location:
Connecticut New Haven County
Groups:
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Tags:
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Rainmaker
566,781
Delaware Junk Removal Residential And Commercial Hauling Clean Outs
Delaware Junk Removal 302-530-9186 - Wilmington, DE
Whole House Clean Outs, Basements, Garages, Attics

Ed- You crack me up.  I invented my own designation a couple years back. 

Great Fricken Realtor  

I use it all the time, anyone who wants a certification send $19.95 to ......

Dec 30, 2009 02:44 PM #79
Rainmaker
383,501
Bruce Brockmeier
Internet Marketing Consultant to REALTORS® - Yorba Linda, CA
Coached By Crouch

The new designation will carry the initials C.R.E.M.

Dear Ed,

Does the NAR know you have created the crème de la crème of designations?!  :)

 

Dec 30, 2009 02:46 PM #80
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William Johnson
Retired - La Jolla, CA
Retired Real Estate Professional

Hi ED, Congrats on the feature. I loved this and had the idea to expand on this. We could do community  seminars.  Then we could run another the next week and likely no two seminars alike. Whole different set of answers. In less than a month, we would sound like writers for the newspaper, LOL

Dec 30, 2009 03:30 PM #81
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Christine Donovan
Donovan Blatt Realty - Costa Mesa, CA
Broker/Attorney 714-319-9751 DRE01267479 - Costa M

My favorite is the Magic Eight Ball.  It has always been so accurate for me over the years.

Dec 30, 2009 03:45 PM #82
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Ed Silva
RE/MAX Professionals, CT 203-206-0754 - Waterbury, CT
Central CT Real Estate Broker Serving all equally

Obviously, this designation has touched a nerve. So much for the frustrations of this market.

Yolanda, I'll get back to you on that

James, CHIP has possibilities, my absolute favorite are the frilly ones, by Lays of course

Anna, what a night mare, to be vented upon by an angered banana

Kathryn, levitation only helps when we can't get out of chairs quick enough

Terrylynn, shame shame shame, wash your mouth out young lady!!!!

BethAnn, of course, the name of the game is residuals

Dec 30, 2009 11:02 PM #83
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Missy Caulk
Missy Caulk TEAM - Ann Arbor, MI
Savvy Realtor - Ann Arbor Real Estate

Very creative, I like creative posts. Good job.

Too bad we can't see the future because we are asked about it all the time.

I never commit to knowing the future...take one day at a time.

Dec 30, 2009 11:09 PM #84
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Ed Silva
RE/MAX Professionals, CT 203-206-0754 - Waterbury, CT
Central CT Real Estate Broker Serving all equally

George, relax, I understand completely, (wink)

Sherry, cards are prohibited, too many people carry them up their sleeves

Al & Peg, I personally get frustrated by the card flip to the stairs, can never understand if it's better to be the first down or the last one.

Barbara, obviously the course has value to you, the key essential to a crystal ball is a room, not a purse

Nathan, this many comments reflects too much frustration or hitting too close to home

Bruce, I should probably get some legal protection with the designation

William, slow down, next thing you know you'll I'll have the seminar schedule out soon!

Christine, far more skill required with the dart board, just try not to hit those wires

Dec 30, 2009 11:10 PM #85
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Ed Silva
RE/MAX Professionals, CT 203-206-0754 - Waterbury, CT
Central CT Real Estate Broker Serving all equally

Too sad Missy, this job is all about the future, Maybe you need a special crash course sooner than we think?

Dec 30, 2009 11:12 PM #86
Rainer
332,782
Irene Kennedy Realtor® in Northwestern NJ
Weichert - Lopatcong, NJ

Would love to tell you how much I howled but I have no time. Need to go register for my C.R.E.M. certification, Ed!

Dec 31, 2009 12:37 AM #87
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Rene Fabre
First American Title - Seattle, WA
Marketing in the Digital Age

Well deserved feature... and thanks for the days first belly laugh... You nailed it!

Dec 31, 2009 02:11 AM #88
Rainmaker
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Kathy Anderson
Arizona Luxury & Lifestyle Living - Cave Creek, AZ
Arizona Homes For Sale, Sun City Grand

LOL - My, what a creative group we have here on AR!  Thanks for the laugh Ed! (all you other AR contributors as well)

Dec 31, 2009 03:54 AM #89
Rainmaker
1,248,458
Wallace S. Gibson, CPM
Gibson Management Group, Ltd. - Charlottesville, VA
LandlordWhisperer

My crystal is being polished as I type!!!! I'll forgo the pointy hat!!

Dec 31, 2009 04:23 AM #90
Rainmaker
400,478
Kerry Lucasse
eXp Realty - Urban Nest Real Estate Group - Atlanta, GA
Your Urban Nest Atlanta Real Estate Consultant

Hilarious!  I've already completed the Magic 8 ball course and can't wait for the ouiji board session.

Dec 31, 2009 04:32 AM #91
Rainmaker
69,608
Bill Blair
Coldwell Banker Realty - Covington, GA
Covington Georgia Realtor Covington Living Homes

Ed... If I study hard and earn the new designation, can I then promote myself as "The C.R.E.M. of the Crop!"  Thanks for the fun read.

Dec 31, 2009 05:28 AM #93
Rainmaker
679,489
William James Walton Sr.
WEICHERT, REALTORS® - Briotti Group - Waterbury, CT
Greater Waterbury Real Estate

Naw, Ed...all we need is a magic wand and a couple of spells...

Or maybe even a magic lamp...where we could all wish upon a genie to make everything just so in the land of real estate...

This was a good one, and the comments were just as funny. Thanks, and Happy New Year!

Jan 01, 2010 06:50 AM #94
Rainmaker
68,159
Nelson Carrillo
McMillin Realty - Phone: (619) 940-6560 - Bonita, CA
South San Diego, CA Homes For Sale

I've just finished the course! My new order of Real Estate Tarot Cards should be arriving soon!

LOL!

Jan 01, 2010 03:49 PM #95
Rainmaker
1,607,649
Charles Stallions Real Estate Services
Charles Stallions Real Estate Services Inc - Gulf Breeze, FL
Buyers Agent 800-309-3414 Pace and Gulf Breeze,Fl.

Almost too funny if it wasn't so true. If you want to get rich invent a set of initials and sell them to agents.

Jan 04, 2010 01:57 PM #96
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Praful Thakkar
LAER Realty Partners - Andover, MA
Andover, MA: Andover Luxury Homes For Sale

Wow, Ed Silva you pulled out one from 2009 - and now I am tempted to reblog it...

 

Jan 21, 2017 03:36 PM #97
Rainmaker
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Endre Barath, Jr.
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices - Beverly Hills, CA
Realtor - Los Angeles Home Sales 310.486.1002

Ed I am so happy our friend Praful Thakkar pulled this out of the archives....he has been getting dusty lately.... Now I am just wondering how many graduates did you get? Since the designation and the course has been around for over eight years? Also what do you charge for the curriculum?:)Endre

Jan 21, 2017 03:53 PM #98
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Hannah Williams
Re/Max Eastern inc. - Philadelphia, PA
Expertise NE Philadelphia & Bucks 215-953-8818

Ed Silva  It is sad when I see a listing come on the market for $30,000 more then market value ... why would a profession  agent do this or am I missing something here ?

Jan 22, 2017 03:47 PM #99
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