Let's Negotiate: Negotiating Stumbling Blocks

Education & Training with Alan Kells School of Real Estate/Howard Hanna Real Estate

Let's Negotiate:  Negotiating Stumbling Blocks

What are some of the most common stumbling blocks encountered when negotiating contracts on your clients behalf?  When you are negotiating with them for their business?

  • Emotions


  • Unskilled negotiators    


  • Passive negotiators

 Stumbling block

  • Inflated ego


  • Poor listening skills


  • Ignoring non-verbal clues


  • Focusing on differences


  • Undefined / unrealistic goals


 Now that we have listed a few stumbling blocks let's brainstorm solutions to overcome them and put the deal together.

  • Solutions for inflated egos:  Use the Win/Win style of negotiating  Don't win the battle only to lose the war.  We live in the community in which we work.


  • Solutions for unskilled negotiators:  Re-define the rules of negotiating.  Restate goals and timetable/  Sellers want to sell and buyers want to buy.  Our job is to bring both parties together.


  • Solutions for passive negotiators:  It's not about things. It's about people.  It takes time and effort.  Not all people are motivated by money.


  • Solutions for emotions: Maintain objectivity.  A professional is always in control.  "No" can be a starting point rather than a roadblock.


  • Dealing with poor listeners:  Paraphrase the other party's position.  Ask ..."How do you feel about . . .?"


  • Detecting non-verbal clues:  Face to face is most effective.  Watch body language


  • Focusing on differences:  Create momentum by emphasizing common points of agreement.  "Great!  We agree on . . . "


  • Undefined/Unrealistic goals:  Know the difference between a realistic buyer and realistic seller and know when to say, "You're Fired!"  I can choose to work with Realistic or Unrealistic clients.  I only get paid when the deal goes together.

Please share your favorite negotiating tip with the ActiveRain community . . .What helps you get the deal together?


See:  Let's Negotiate . . . "No"... "Don't You Understand NO?"

Posted by


Mary Yonkers


      I thought about a Real Estate career for 11 years before I made the decision to get my Pennsylvania Real Estate license in mid-80's.  

      Thirty years later I can say affirmatively that Real Estate has been a fantastic career. 

      Come join me in class soon. Mary Yonkers, Real Estate Instructor


With so many homes for sale in Erie PA, this is the right time to begin your career as a Real Estate salesperson in Erie, PA.

 2018 Alan Kells





Mary Yonkers, Real Estate Instructor


 Mary Yonkers Howard Hanna Real Estate Services in Erie, PA

          Office:  814-835-1200 or Cell:  814-881-7548

Real Estate Classes Alan Kells Schools of Real Estate in Erie, PA  1-412-967-0240 

Real Estate Career in Erie, PA  1-814-835-1200



Re-Blogged 1 time:

Re-Blogged By Re-Blogged At
  1. Al & Peggy Cunningham, Brokers 01/28/2010 03:08 AM
ActiveRain Community
Pennsylvania Erie County Erie
Club Chaos
Addicted to Active Rain
Cosmic Cow Pie...The Rome Way
Be The Best In Your Field
lets negotiate stumbling blocks real estate classes erie pa alan kells

Spam prevention
Show All Comments
Robert L. Brown
www.mrbrownsellsgr.com - Grand Rapids, MI
Grand Rapids Real Estate Bellabay Realty, West Mic

This is a post i can reflect back on time to time. This may not be the ALL inclusive list but it covers all the baes. Thanks again for all you do.

Jan 26, 2010 06:51 AM #9
Sharon Paxson
Arbor Real Estate - Newport Beach, CA
Newport Beach Real Estate - Arbor Real Estate

Communicate with everyone, and hopefully they won't kill the messenger. Good tips! Thanks for sharing!

Jan 26, 2010 07:45 AM #10
Anna Banana Kruchten CRB, CRS, Broker
Phoenix Property Shoppe - Phoenix, AZ
Arizona's Top Banana of Real Estate!

Sometimes it's necesary to go back to the begining and review what the 'goal' is.  People get all  caught up in tiny details(or lost in an emotional war within) at times and they forget to see a bigger picture.  It's our job to present the big picture, pros & cons, and let them make the decisions.

Jan 26, 2010 08:04 AM #11
Frank Kliewer
Woodinville, WA

While recognizing that emotions are going to be a big factor, we as agents need to keep ours in check. Calm and professional is the way to go.

Jan 26, 2010 08:37 AM #12
Laura Cerrano
Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island - Locust Valley, NY
Certified Feng Shui Expert, Speaker & Researcher

Mary, You gave some good advice and I agree on remaining calm and professional.  Once while doing a Feng Shui consultation for a couple they brought up a very sore subject between them.  Before I knew it they were yelling at each other.  It took me almost an hour to get them to come to a compromise that they could both agree to.  I'm so glad this doesn't happen very often in my line of work!

Jan 26, 2010 02:39 PM #13
Russel Ray, San Diego Business & Marketing Consultant & Photographer
Russel Ray - San Diego State University, CA

I'm a very poor negotiator because I am a very emotional person. I wear my emotions on my sleeves.

Jan 27, 2010 05:53 PM #14
Tere Rottink
CoastalVa Realty Inc - Virginia Beach, VA


Great list.  Because I love to talk, I remind m self while I am in front of clients to shut up and listen, listen, listen, and listen.  This will help me identify the objectives and need of the client.


Jan 28, 2010 12:41 AM #15
Carra & Shae Riley
Brokers Guild Cherry Creek Ltd - Westminster, CO
Helping people Transition at all ages!

Mary...You presented a really great list.  I particularly like the last one about knowing when to say "you're fire"!  I too prefer to work with willing and able clients.

Cosmic Cow

Jan 28, 2010 02:25 AM #16
Al & Peggy Cunningham, Brokers
RE/MAX West Realty Inc., Brokerage - Brampton, ON
Our Family Wants To Help Your Family!

This is a great idea for a post, where we can brainstorm together! Thumbs up for the idea Mary.

We think that when dealing with an unskilled, emotional egotist, they sometimes back themselves into a corner with their demands or answers. Later they can't get out, even when they want out.  Our job is to help them find a graceful exit and get the deal together. Whew, sometimes it takes a ton of patience.   

Jan 28, 2010 03:05 AM #17
Mary Yonkers
Alan Kells School of Real Estate/Howard Hanna Real Estate - Erie, PA
Erie/PA Real Estate Instructor

Oh my,  how did I get behind with my comments?  Thanks for stopping & commenting here.  I will respond as time allows.

Jan 28, 2010 12:46 PM #18
Mary Yonkers
Alan Kells School of Real Estate/Howard Hanna Real Estate - Erie, PA
Erie/PA Real Estate Instructor

Al & Peggy--thanks so much for re-blogging this post and for disabling the comments on your site.  That was very unselfish of you. 

Jan 28, 2010 12:48 PM #19
Mary Yonkers
Alan Kells School of Real Estate/Howard Hanna Real Estate - Erie, PA
Erie/PA Real Estate Instructor

Michelle--You can't go wrong with Win/Win approach to negotiating.  Know the motivation of parties is also important.  Thanks.

Irene--Love your sense of humor, but so accurate.  Those with inflated egos are often in denial.

Robert--You are right this list is not all inclusive, but it's a start.  There are books and books written about this topic.

Sharon--No, I don't want to kill the messenger nor do I want to die when I am the messenger.

Anna--very insightful comment.  Here's another topic for our book.

Frank--"Calm and professional"  I will quote you in my next class on negotiating.  Thanks.

Jan 28, 2010 12:57 PM #20
Mary Yonkers
Alan Kells School of Real Estate/Howard Hanna Real Estate - Erie, PA
Erie/PA Real Estate Instructor

Carole--That description reminds me of a couple who were divorcing.  I had them in separate conference rooms while negotiating the sales agreement on their house.  Sounds like yours worked out, too.

Russel--You have other good traits that will compensate hopefully.

Tere--Guess we all need to be reminded to listen more than talk.

Carra--And it's often rarely used.  Usually it's the other way around.


Jan 28, 2010 01:04 PM #21
Steve, Joel & Steve A. Chain
Chain Real Estate Investments & Mortgage, Steve & Joel Chain - Cottonwood, CA

Mary, These are great and effective points. We've all met some form of these common stumbling blocks.

(I followed you here from Al & Peggy's reblog)


Jan 28, 2010 11:03 PM #22
Mary Yonkers
Alan Kells School of Real Estate/Howard Hanna Real Estate - Erie, PA
Erie/PA Real Estate Instructor

Steve--Thanks for making the detour from Al & Peggy's reblog.  I will follow you back to yours shortly.

Jan 28, 2010 11:08 PM #23
Diane Rice
Rice Prprty Mgmnt & Rlty, LLC, South Holland, IL - Lansing, IL

Mary - you are a pro... facing objectives with wisdom is an art that everyone cannot master... but YOU have!

Jan 29, 2010 10:24 AM #24
Irene Tron
Valparaiso, IN

Hi Mary - I came back to read through your list again.  I wonder how many of us are successful at all the things with every client.  I sure don't think I am 100% successful but I'm working on it.

Jan 29, 2010 02:58 PM #25
Mary Yonkers
Alan Kells School of Real Estate/Howard Hanna Real Estate - Erie, PA
Erie/PA Real Estate Instructor

No Diane,  I am still learning just like everyone else, but thanks for the compliment.  Love ya.

Irene--I see why you have been so successful.  You are very diligent and review what you have learned and try to apply it to your business.  I am glad that my post was helpful.

Jan 29, 2010 10:11 PM #26
Jane Peters
Home Jane Realty - Los Angeles, CA
Connecting you to the L.A. real estate market

Great overview, Mary.  We must all remember that negotiation is an art and with all art it either comes naturally or not.  For those ungifted negotiatiors like me it takes practice, practice, practice.

Jan 30, 2010 04:48 AM #27
Mary Yonkers
Alan Kells School of Real Estate/Howard Hanna Real Estate - Erie, PA
Erie/PA Real Estate Instructor

Hi Jane--With practice we can all improve our skills and our clients deserve the best service we can offer.  Thanks for stopping in this afternoon.

Jan 30, 2010 07:12 AM #28
Show All Comments

What's the reason you're reporting this blog entry?

Are you sure you want to report this blog entry as spam?


Mary Yonkers

Erie/PA Real Estate Instructor
Ask Mary about Real Estate classes in Erie, PA
Spam prevention

Additional Information