Are You Left In Awe When You FINALLY See the Property in Question?

By
Real Estate Agent with Liberty Homes RS-#62825

I'm sure many have read those listing descriptions that just leave you in awe when you get to the property...only to be embarrassed in front of the buyer. Over the last couple years the list has grown and wondering if you all have anything to add to it?

It's a great reminder to those that try and cover up what's really going on that to waste someone's time without an accurate description is not going to sell that property.

  • Spacious -  Enough for the dog maybe
  • Peek a Boo Ocean View- If you go to the bathroom window upstairs an look from the right bottom corner of the window you can see a little view of the ocean if the palm tree isn't swaying from the wind.
  • Charming - small
  • Comfortable -  For whom?
  • Cozy - When the heat kicks in
  • Custom Two-Tone Paint: Deep dark red (or black) accent walls.
  • Sold As Is- Stuff broken and will not fix; carpet has tears; possible tear down
  • Near the water- Drainage canal in the back 
  • Mountain view-  From the neighbors second floor bedroom
  • Near the beach- Jump in your car and ride 10 miles down
  • Needs some work-....or possibleTear Down
  • Low maintenance - no lawn; all rocks or cement  
  • Walk to stores - nowhere to park your car so better to walk there  
  • Prestgious - expensive and overpriced
  • Bright and sunny - blinds/drapes not included  
  • Townhouse - apartment/condo
  • Modern - 30 to 40 years old
  • Contemporay  15 years old                                                                                                    
  • Shows pride of ownership!- Clean but carpet is the gold shag.
  • Natural setting - No sewer connection, no electricity
  • Secluded setting - Everyone moved away
  • Executive neighborhood - high property taxes
  • Near houses of worship-  Underground cults
  • New plumbing- fixed the leaky drainpipe under the sink and the rest from 1920.
  • Park-like setting - swing set in vacant lot next door  
  • Unaffected charm - needs painting  
  • Starter home - no upgrades; all original from the 70's  
  • Hurry! Won't last - overpriced and trying to make it sound like a steal
  • And much, much more - can't think of anything else                                                                       
  • ONE-OF-A-KIND - Ugly as sin.
  • You'll love it - No, you won't.  
  • Abundant with fruit trees- Termite infested 40 year old trees
  • Some termite damage- They slapped a bunch of wood filler to "fix" some of it. The rest is stuctural damage and ......tear down.
  • New Paint/Carpet:  Hot Red Paint/Yellow remnant carpet 
  • Contractor's Dream!-Tear Down 
  • Lawns are "fully sprinkled?"-  But sometimes we miss a spot or two...hahaha.
  • Needs TLC- Totally Trashed by squatters
  • Sounds like an extra: Would you buy it?
  • Some Updates-changed a light fixture, or maybe just the light bulb
  • Must see to appreciate  - No pictures; described as excellent condition to get you there and lookie now!
  • Maids Quarters..only to find a bed, light and table in the closet.
  • Just needs personalizing- no appliances, fixtures, sinks, toilet
  • Location, Location, Location?  That means that's all it has going for it
  • QUAINT - old, small and run down shack from the 1800's
  • Not a Drive By: It looks real bad on the outside but show my listing anyway!
  • Awaiting your finishing touches No plumbing or drywall  and tarp on the roof
  • Cute as a Button: VERY small & probably outdated...but with a white picket fence!
  • Unique (or Custom):   A do it yourselfer owner where seams don't meet
  • Motivated: Desperate as hell -PLEASE offer ANYTHING!!!
  • Move In Ready - The owner left months ago and its been vacant since please buy!
  • Cream Puff: Same as Cute as a Button
  • Handyman's Dream: Uninhabitable / crack house
  • PROPERTY IS VACANT, GREAT DEAL FOR INVESTORS!!  No one else wants it
  • Decorator Colors-Ok, so they got carried away after watching DIY
  • WOODED -  Stacks of wood not taken away yet
  • In need of repairs, great potential: Another tear down
  • Seller can close quickly. Means house has been sitting empty for over a year
  • Drive By:  Looks reeeal bad on the inside but the outside green grass might sell it!
  • Priced under assessed value: The sellers property taxes went up triple!
  • Can be used as extra bedroom:  It is the area at the top of the stairs, no closet, no door and missing one wall.
  • PRESENT ALL OFFERS! No one even put in an offer in over six months.
  • Immaculate:  They cleaned the dishes...toilet stained, dirty clothes all over, dog and kid prints all over the walls, poop in the back yard and on the sidewalk
  • Off the beaten trail...Can't see it from my house.
  • Partially finished basment: They laid some carpet remnants on the concrete. 
  • Investors special, REDUCED! Tree fell thru roof in Living room. Needs sheetrock, paint and flooring.
  • BY THE LAKE - A drainage ditch

Do you have another deceptive description you'd like to share?  

Posted by

                                                       

 

Celeste "Sally" Cheeseman  is a Realtor-Associate® and Certified Residential Specialist (CRS) with Century 21 Liberty Homes in Mililani, Hawaii. With a sharp understanding that a listening ear is the key to a client's needs  she serves the island of Oahu (Honolulu County) and all Hawaii Military Relocations, Hawaii Retirees, Hawaii Job Transfers and Hawaii Residents, Home Buyers and Sellers.

 

 © 2007-2015 Celeste "Sally" Cheeseman's

Hawaii Real Estate and Relocation Blog.

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Rainmaker
513,021
Robert L. Brown
www.mrbrownsellsgr.com - Grand Rapids, MI
Grand Rapids Real Estate Bellabay Realty, West Mic

This list is laughable so much i had to bookmark it. The lines we come up with to sell a home. Thanks.

Jan 30, 2010 04:01 AM #6
Rainmaker
67,649
Walter Grewe III
Long and Foster Realtors - Roanoke, VA
Realtor, SFR, A-REO, Roanoke Homes and Real Estate

Sally,

How about: Great opportunity- to own a money pit.

Jan 30, 2010 04:06 AM #7
Rainmaker
1,188,915
Jane Peters
Home Jane Realty - Los Angeles, CA
Los Angeles real estate concierge services

Very funny post, Sally, and Paul is right.  We should all make an attempt to preview homes before we take our serious buyers by, but we don't always have time, so we rely on the descriptions.  I generally discuss with the listing agent what they actually mean by the description and they are generally honest.  Also, if they take good pictures you do get the impression.  Again, this was tongue in cheek and very funny.  I like the "you have to see it to believe it".  That is as ambigous as you can get.

Jan 30, 2010 05:16 AM #8
Ambassador
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Jeff Dowler, CRS
eXp Realty of California, Inc. - Carlsbad, CA
The Southern California Relocation Dude

Sally - VERY funny. This is sooo true. I love when they say move in condition...but you have to wonder by who, or what.

Jeff

Jan 30, 2010 05:21 AM #9
Rainmaker
1,951,137
Lottie Kendall
Compass - San Francisco, CA
Helping make your real estate dreams a reality

Sally, I LOVE your translations!  Nice to sit and chuckle over a cup of coffee between appointments; well, actually there was a guffaw or two tossed in.

Jan 30, 2010 05:52 AM #10
Rainmaker
760,442
Christine Bohn
RE/MAX Professionals - Gainesville, FL
The Bohn Team, Gainesville FL

Sally - OK....here's my addition:

Handyman Special - (A relative term) - Do ya need a dozer or just a hammer?

Gorgeous Inside - Exterior photo is missing in MLS - and when you arrive, you know why!

Jan 30, 2010 07:23 AM #11
Rainmaker
662,385
JL Boney, III
Coldwell Banker - Columbia, SC
Columbia, SC Real Estate

Exaggeration is not at all a new concept, but some people take it to a whole new level with their descriptions don't they?

Jan 30, 2010 10:45 AM #12
Rainmaker
595,563
Lisa Hill
Florida Property Experts - Daytona Beach, FL
Daytona Beach Real Estate

LOL at the bright and sunny. Thankfully in our area, that is what is says it is. But charming seems to unilaterally mean "small". And around here, we have one more. Whenever I see a description that says "high on a dune", it means the driveway is so steep that I'm gonna scrape the underside of my car when I back out >.<  OUCH! lol

Jan 30, 2010 11:20 AM #13
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Hannah Williams
HomeStarr Realty - Philadelphia, PA
Expertise NE Philadelphia & Bucks 215-820-3376

Sally..I see you have been showing houses too!  LOVE IT!

HELPFULHANNAH

Jan 30, 2010 11:27 AM #14
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George Souto
George Souto NMLS #65149 FHA, CHFA, VA Mortgages - Middletown, CT
Your Connecticut Mortgage Expert

Sally looking at that list it does not look like you left anything out.  I had to laugh as I was going down the list :)

Jan 30, 2010 12:24 PM #15
Rainmaker
388,002
Lola Audu
Lola Audu~Audu Real Estate~Grand Rapids, MI Real Estate - Grand Rapids, MI
Audu Real Estate~Grand Rapids, MI ~Welcome Home!

O my word Sally, didn't know you were this funny!  I'm bookmarking this post for future reference. :)

Jan 30, 2010 01:10 PM #16
Rainmaker
1,211,911
Sharon Lee
Sharon Lee's Virtual Assistance - Jonesborough, TN
Retired and loving life

Hi Sally-Love the list and it is sad but true. I think you covered just about all of them <SMILE>

Jan 30, 2010 01:11 PM #17
Rainmaker
1,561,913
Carla Muss-Jacobs, RETIRED
RETIRED / State License is Inactive - Portland, OR

We call that "Puffing the Listing"  I just wonder if the listing agent wasn't "puffing" when they wrote the listing sheet ;-)

Jan 30, 2010 04:25 PM #18
Rainmaker
1,157,329
FN LN
Toronto, ON

Celeste - A fantastic compilation of definitions that helps many people (newer agents, buyers, sellers etc.) understand what the real estate ads and listings often, but not always, mean.  The list is also best to share if the readers have a good sense of humour.

Jan 30, 2010 11:45 PM #19
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Celeste "SALLY" Cheeseman
Liberty Homes - Mililani, HI
(RA) AHWD CRS ePRO OAHU HAWAII REAL ESTATE

Hope you all had a good laugh!

Jan 31, 2010 04:21 AM #20
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Renée Donohue~Home Photography
Savvy Home Pix - Allegan, MI
Western Michigan Real Estate Photographer

OMG I love this compilation!!  Too funny Sally!  I am torn between "BRING ALL OFFERS" and "PARK LIKE SETTING" as my favs!

Jan 31, 2010 10:49 AM #21
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Loreena and Michael Yeo
3:16 team REALTY ~ Locally-owned Prosper TX Real Estate Co. - Prosper, TX
Real Estate Agents

Humor me in awe girlfriend.....

Jan 31, 2010 11:07 AM #22
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Barbara-Jo Roberts Berberi, MA, PSA, TRC - Greater Clearwater Florida Residential Real Estate Professional
Charles Rutenberg Realty - Clearwater, FL
Palm Harbor, Dunedin, Clearwater, Safety Harbor

When I read some of the listing descriptions I wonder what color glasses they were wearing when writing it up -

Feb 01, 2010 06:40 AM #23
Rainmaker
787,089
Christopher Watters
Watters International Realty - Austin, TX
Austin Realtor (512-829-8000)

That's quiete a list you've got there. I think that would make anyone think twice about how they describe a property in the MLS.

Feb 02, 2010 04:38 AM #24
Rainmaker
356,292
Carol Culkin, ReeceNichols
ReeceNichols Real Estate - Overland Park, KS
Overland Park Residential Real Estate

Sally - I learned as a new agent that "fluff" was legal. So, with one of my first listings I got a little carried away and descriptive only to be told by a very experienced agent just how disappointed the buyer was after reading the listing remarks and then seeing the property in person.  After that, I have always tried to set very reasonable expectations.  

Feb 05, 2010 08:29 AM #25
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Celeste "SALLY" Cheeseman

(RA) AHWD CRS ePRO OAHU HAWAII REAL ESTATE
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