I'm sure many have read those listing descriptions that just leave you in awe when you get to the property...only to be embarrassed in front of the buyer. Over the last couple years the list has grown and wondering if you all have anything to add to it?
It's a great reminder to those that try and cover up what's really going on that to waste someone's time without an accurate description is not going to sell that property.
- Spacious - Enough for the dog maybe
- Peek a Boo Ocean View- If you go to the bathroom window upstairs an look from the right bottom corner of the window you can see a little view of the ocean if the palm tree isn't swaying from the wind.
- Charming - small
- Comfortable - For whom?
- Cozy - When the heat kicks in
- Custom Two-Tone Paint: Deep dark red (or black) accent walls.
- Sold As Is- Stuff broken and will not fix; carpet has tears; possible tear down
- Near the water- Drainage canal in the back
- Mountain view- From the neighbors second floor bedroom
- Near the beach- Jump in your car and ride 10 miles down
- Needs some work-....or possibleTear Down
- Low maintenance - no lawn; all rocks or cement
- Walk to stores - nowhere to park your car so better to walk there
- Prestgious - expensive and overpriced
- Bright and sunny - blinds/drapes not included
- Townhouse - apartment/condo
- Modern - 30 to 40 years old
- Contemporay 15 years old
Shows pride of ownership!- Clean but carpet is the gold shag.- Natural setting - No sewer connection, no electricity
- Secluded setting - Everyone moved away
- Executive neighborhood - high property taxes
- Near houses of worship- Underground cults
- New plumbing- fixed the leaky drainpipe under the sink and the rest from 1920.
- Park-like setting - swing set in vacant lot next door
- Unaffected charm - needs painting
- Starter home - no upgrades; all original from the 70's
- Hurry! Won't last - overpriced and trying to make it sound like a steal
- And much, much more - can't think of anything else
- ONE-OF-A-KIND - Ugly as sin.
- You'll love it - No, you won't.
- Abundant with fruit trees- Termite infested 40 year old trees
- Some termite damage- They slapped a bunch of wood filler to "fix" some of it. The rest is stuctural damage and ......tear down.
- New Paint/Carpet: Hot Red Paint/Yellow remnant carpet
- Contractor's Dream!-Tear Down
- Lawns are "fully sprinkled?"- But sometimes we miss a spot or two...hahaha.
- Needs TLC- Totally Trashed by squatters
- Sounds like an extra: Would you buy it?
- Some Updates-changed a light fixture, or maybe just the light bulb
- Must see to appreciate - No pictures; described as excellent condition to get you there and lookie now!
- Maids Quarters..only to find a bed, light and table in the closet.
- Just needs personalizing- no appliances, fixtures, sinks, toilet
- Location, Location, Location? That means that's all it has going for it
- QUAINT - old, small and run down shack from the 1800's
- Not a Drive By: It looks real bad on the outside but show my listing anyway!
- Awaiting your finishing touches No plumbing or drywall and tarp on the roof
- Cute as a Button: VERY small & probably outdated...but with a white picket fence!
- Unique (or Custom): A do it yourselfer owner where seams don't meet
- Motivated: Desperate as hell -PLEASE offer ANYTHING!!!
- Move In Ready - The owner left months ago and its been vacant since please buy!
- Cream Puff: Same as Cute as a Button
- Handyman's Dream: Uninhabitable / crack house
- PROPERTY IS VACANT, GREAT DEAL FOR INVESTORS!! No one else wants it
- Decorator Colors-Ok, so they got carried away after watching DIY
- WOODED - Stacks of wood not taken away yet
- In need of repairs, great potential: Another tear down
- Seller can close quickly. Means house has been sitting empty for over a year
- Drive By: Looks reeeal bad on the inside but the outside green grass might sell it!
- Priced under assessed value: The sellers property taxes went up triple!
- Can be used as extra bedroom: It is the area at the top of the stairs, no closet, no door and missing one wall.
- PRESENT ALL OFFERS! No one even put in an offer in over six months.
- Immaculate: They cleaned the dishes...toilet stained, dirty clothes all over, dog and kid prints all over the walls, poop in the back yard and on the sidewalk
- Off the beaten trail...Can't see it from my house.
- Partially finished basment: They laid some carpet remnants on the concrete.
- Investors special, REDUCED! Tree fell thru roof in Living room. Needs sheetrock, paint and flooring.
- BY THE LAKE - A drainage ditch
Do you have another deceptive description you'd like to share?
