Calm Down, Take a Deep Breath and Step Away From the Transaction

Real Estate Broker/Owner with Charlemagne International Properties BRE# 01147470

Frustration can be a expensive thing.  The simmering cauldron of frustrations and delays involved in a real estate transaction can erupt into words and actions not in the best interest of closing the transaction.  It is better to win the war and lose a battle or two than win the battle but lose the war house.


The real estate market of the past few years pushed many homeowners to the edge.  It tested the mettle of real estate professionals, lenders incurred the wrath of the masses and millions of consumers watched as unrealized home and stock equity disappeared.  No wonder the frayed and raw nerves just below the surface stand ready to erupt at the slightest provocation.  We are suffering a bit from Post Housing Meltdown Trauma.


With millions of homeowners upside down, thousands of real estate agents with declining incomes, and banks guarding their vaults with a long list of conditions before they will approve a loan, the times are challenging to say the least.  As I told a client ready to issue escrow cancellation instructions, "Calm down, take a deep breath and step away from the transaction for a day."  Things may look very different after a good night's sleep.


Often, all the ranting and raving, threats and posturing are simply wasted energy.  It takes time to sell a house.  It takes time to get a loan.  It takes time to close an escrow.  It is never a straight line adventure.


Norma Toering & Team RE/MAX Palos Verdes Realty
(310) 493-8333 / Office Phone: (310) 831-0800

PalosVerdesLifestyle - Nominated by as one of the top ten Los Angeles area real estate blogs. Ranked by Technorati in the top 1% of all blogs. As seen in the Daily Breeze newspaper.

South Bay Los Angeles cities I sell real estate, property, houses and homes in: Palos Verdes Estates, Rolling Hills, Rolling Hills Estates, Rancho Palos Verdes, San Pedro, Long Beach, Torrance, Lomita, Redondo Beach, Hermosa Beach and Manhattan Beach. Information is deemed reliable but not guaranteed.

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Vickie Nagy
Coldwell Banker Residential Real Estate - Palm Springs, CA
Vickie Jean the Palm Springs Condo Queen

The delays on short sales can be simply interminable. My last one made me think it just might be 'the last one'

Feb 03, 2010 02:23 AM #1
Norma Toering Broker for Palos Verdes and Beach Cities
Charlemagne International Properties - Rancho Palos Verdes, CA
Palos Verdes Luxury Homes in L.A.

Vickie - I showed one yesterday and was definitely in need of a deep breath when the buyers said they may be interested in making an offer...

Feb 03, 2010 02:25 AM #3
Norma Toering Broker for Palos Verdes and Beach Cities
Charlemagne International Properties - Rancho Palos Verdes, CA
Palos Verdes Luxury Homes in L.A.

Ginevra - Thank you and I think 2010 will be the turning point.

Feb 03, 2010 02:26 AM #4
Eileen Hsu
Douglas Elliman Real Estate - Manhattan, NY

Norma, you are right, it is never a straight line to the adventure, otherwise it wouldnt be an adventure! Every one of my deal has its own story and sometimes drama. We have to be calm and the voice of reasons in these deals.

Feb 03, 2010 02:31 AM #5
Donne Knudsen
Los Angeles & Ventura Counties in CA - Simi Valley, CA
CalState Realty Services

Norma - BRAVO!  AMEN!  I couldn't have said it better myself, as much as I tried yesterday.  Yesterday, a loan I've been working on for nearly 60 days was issued a notice to perform.  This has been a problem folder for most of the transaction with one obstacle after another.  There have been issues with my borrower that were unexpected, there were issues with the appraisal and appraisal repairs getting done and signed off on, there were issues with the sellers and their convoluted title problems.  Needless to say, no one in this transaction has escaped blame for the state that this transaction is in right now.

Through it all I feel like I have been unusually calm and and reasonable.  Whenever something new came up, I feel like I was the one who didn't get all that ruffled and would say something along the lines of "yes, we have a problem here but it's not a deal breaker".  Quite honestly, everything that has come up I have seen before, which is why I knew they weren't deal breakers.  But as you said, so many others in the transaction are either at the end of their patience or never had any to begin with. 

Yesterday, as one of the listing agents chewed me up one side, down the other and spit me out in the same breath, I just calmly sat there and let her vent; I felt she deserved at least that.  Afterwards, I asked her to just give it one more day before she cancelled the transaction and explained that we would have this escrow closed before she could close a new one.  She issued the notice anyway.

Todays a new day and it's only 9am and I'm feeling like today is going to be a good day.  Yes, I'm under the gun to perform but that's ok; I will perform.  It's not like I don't understand the severity of the matter either, I do.  It's just that I know things will work out, obviously, not like we wanted them to but they will work out.  Sorry for the long comment but your post just struck a chord with me at this very moment and is probably exactly what I needed to read this morning.  Have a good day Norma.  :)


Feb 03, 2010 03:00 AM #6
Norma Toering Broker for Palos Verdes and Beach Cities
Charlemagne International Properties - Rancho Palos Verdes, CA
Palos Verdes Luxury Homes in L.A.

Eileen - The adventurous aspect is what keeps it interesting (and challenging) for me.

Feb 03, 2010 03:01 AM #7
Norma Toering Broker for Palos Verdes and Beach Cities
Charlemagne International Properties - Rancho Palos Verdes, CA
Palos Verdes Luxury Homes in L.A.

Donne - It's a new day and give it your best---that all anyone can expect.  Let me know how it goes--I'm hoping it all falls into place.

Feb 03, 2010 03:05 AM #8
Kim Sellers
Lake Arrowhead, CA Coldwell Banker - Lake Arrowhead, CA
Lake Arrowhead Realtor - BRE#01412099 - Lake Arrow

Ha, thanks for the reminder Norma... I was feeling like freaking out this morning on a certain subject and I came home, had some lunch and now I am feeling much better and found a solution in the mean time.

Feb 03, 2010 09:02 AM #9
April Hayden-Munson
Brookfield, WI
Brookfield Wisconsin Real Estate

HOw well said Norma!  Just today I wanted to strangle a negotiator with one of the big banks.  Doing that, or getting curt won't help the situation.  So I decided to ignore it for a day.... I've been just seething since yesterday afternoon...... maybe tomorrow I can go back at him with a better attitude!

Feb 03, 2010 09:24 AM #10
Tony Cordi
Tony Cordi, Broker (Beachtime Realty) - Hermosa Beach, CA

Well said Norma and thank you for sharing this...

Feb 03, 2010 01:30 PM #11
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