How often have you gone outside after a wind storm to see your siding hanging at all angles?
Have you ever wondered what to do about it? Or how much it would cost to get it fixed?
Well wonder no more!
Hi, Billy Jays here!
I am inviting you to be the first in your neighborhood to own a very special repair kit. A siding repair kit! Nothing will make you prouder than to be the first on your own block to fix that damaged, wind-blown siding. We call our kit:
Our T.R.A.S.H. kit comes with a complete set of printed instructions in the eighteen most prominent languages found in our country today. *
It also includes a guide to help you to pick out just the right nails to install your siding firmly and permanently. And to cover those nails, gaps or cracks another convenient color palette will help you to select just the right caulking to perfectly match your siding color!
When you are done, you can stand back and not even notice that you ever had a problem! Your siding problems will have completely disappeared! And before your neighbors even break out their ladders!
So call now, and for three easy payments of $1.79, your very own T.R.A.S.H. kit will be rushed to your home!
But wait, if you call in the next 10 minutes, because we can't do this all day, we will also send you a roll of our patented Corner Patch Kit. You will never again have to worry about a vinyl siding corner that has become damaged by that pesky weed whacker or soccer ball! Once installed, you will never see that cracked or broken corner again! This T.R.A.S.H. really works!
So call now! Our knowledgeable and trained phone consultants are standing by!
That's right! One call will get you our very popular T.R.A.S.H. kit and a roll of our new Corner Patch Kit!
So call now!!
My recommendation: Be sure to hold some money back in escrow for any unexpected repairs, even if the sellers say that they will have a "cousin who works in construction" fix everything the home inspector finds. Everything...
* Instructions also come in English. But be sure to ask.