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What About Personal Responsibility? Let's Teach Them All To Fish!

By
Real Estate Agent with Better Homes and Gardens Rand Realty

We need to teach them how to fish.  I usually don't make political statements here, it really isn't the place for it.  I have been holding something in for a while and now find I need to get this out. We as a country have spent immense amounts of money bailing and patching, supporting and saving, and filling in for past omissions and wrong doings.  Enough already!  We need to teach the people how to take care of themselves not take care of them.  There is a difference and it needs to be recognized and policy needs to be implemented that will encourage self improvement and personal responsibility.

I see it every day.  People who believe they are entitled to free money, free health care, freedom from obligation to live up to promises madelaying around waiting for someone to care for you when taking out mortgages and other loans, and just about everything else that you can imagine just because they live in this country.  This is the land of the free and the home of the brave but you really need to give of yourself in order to reap the benefits.  Why should I work to pay for someone else's mistakes?  Why does my hard earned cash end up in someone else's pocket who feels no obligation to give anything of themselves to earn their way.

We as a country have created this situation.  We have decided that to fix anything we will mandate things but not provide funding for those mandates.  We have decided that we will throw money at big corporations to help save them from their own mistakes.  We have decided to care for the poor and downtrodden by giving them "free" money and "free" health care yet do not require them to work to improve their lot.  We have done this to ourselves and we need to STOP!

teach them how to fishSo let's start teaching how to fish, how to save, how to work, and how each of us must honor our commitments and follow through on our promises.  Let's live within our means and use our great American innovative minds to figure out how to provide more with less as we rebuild our country.  We can't possibly keep handing out fish.  We are running out of fisherman to bring them in.  

Well now I feel better. How about you???  

I have disabled the comments on this post because people were moving it too far from the original intent.  This post was about taking personal responsibility.  It was not a party line "throw them to the wolves" message; it was one of hope that we all from the lowest to the highest strive to make our own lives better.  Of course there will always be people who need our help.  Of course I feel for those of us who have to change jobs, have lost careers, and have lost savings due for the most part to no fault of their own.  What I am saying is we need to find a way to dig ourselves out of the mess. 

I have remade my life many times, if I hadn't I would not be where I am. When one door closed I found another one to open.  Yes I did have government assistance when my company closed doors but I moved on to a different productive place.  When I couldn't afford it, I didn't buy it.  Individuals, large corperations, institutions, and our government all need to move on responsibly to a new productive place.  Even today I am considering other options due to the economic realities that we face.  

I started to see long long comments that brought my original point far from the origin and I was seeing things go from an honest open discussion to ugly rants.  The final comment which I have deleted contained an attack on fellow Realtors for stating their opinions.  I do not mind people expressing opinions but read your code of ethics people. 

Comments (144)

Kim Dove
Watson Realty Corp - Jacksonville, FL
Realtor - Jacksonville FL

Paddy, I didn't even bother reading through all of the comments ( I stopped at about 75). It appears that most are in agreement with you,  I do to but only to a point.

It seems like it is so easy to pick on the "little person" when things are not going our way like spoiled little children. The same spoiled little children are also the "Amen" corner.

This horse and pony show is so very tired and beaten to death within this past year. These same entitlements were going on over 2 years ago. Where was the outcry then?

I'll stop here because I really don't care for the political inspired post of Active Rain but hey I am "entitled" to post so I did.

Apr 01, 2010 10:47 AM
Paddy (Patricia) Pizappi
Better Homes and Gardens Rand Realty - Pine Bush, NY
Real Estate Associate Broker Hudson Valley NY

Hi Kim,  My voice was saying the same thing a year ago, two years ago, five years ago.  This again is not just about the little people it is about all people.  We need to be responsible and claim responsibility.  Thanks for your comment and I value everyone's right to an opinion.

Apr 01, 2010 10:56 AM
Christianne O'Malley
Dickson Realty - Reno, NV
Exceptional Service - Delivering Results in Reno!

What a great post! I couldn't agree with you more...It's a sad time and I don't even know where to begin. It makes me genuinely worried for our collective future because even though we can teach them to fish, we can't even address the fact that they are not motivated to fish, even after we teach them...That to me is the bigger problem.

Apr 01, 2010 11:16 AM
Brian Morgenweck
Power Realty Group, LLC Bergen County, NJ - Hackensack, NJ
Broker/Owner, GRI, CRS, ABR, SRS

So there's this big, strong cat in the Serengeti...

He's great at what he does and it took him quite some time to get so proficient. He is the HUNTER. It's how he survives, feeds himself & his family, even a few weaker cats get to eat, although not before the big cat who ran his cat-a$$ off all day to bring home the gazelle.

One day, big cat encounters on the plains, a gazelle, who is much faster & illusive then all the others & big cat just can't bring him down...no matter how hard he tries!

Beaten down & tired, big cat thinks of how long & hard he's toiled to become as great as he is at the hunt. Why, he's planned it this way for many years! If the new gazelles are different, he may have to adapt to survive, he thinks. What a task and what a pain-in-the-tail that will be, he thinks. If he doesn't figure out a new plan, he & his pride could very well perish, he thinks...but all this thinking is so tiring and disconcerting. Big cat doesn't waaaaant it to be this waaaaaay!

For weeks, big cat is depressed & weakened from a lack of sustenance and the gazelles are just growing faster and curiously larger and stronger by the day, he thinks. How very, very sad  that his meal isn't as he planned it should be, he thinks... meow is me, he thinks.

A few days later, big cat is still in a funk and depleted further...A curiously large and seemingly ferocious gazelle saunters by, sees big cat in his sorry, depressed state, whimpering unintelligibly about his plight....                

and eats big cat's head!

End of story.

Apr 01, 2010 01:15 PM
Terry Chenier
Homelife Glenayre Realty - Mission, BC

Paddy,

Wallace, hit it on the head with the first comment. We now have a complete generation that weren't taught to be self-sufficient.

Apr 01, 2010 01:49 PM
Karen Anne Stone
New Home Hunters of Fort Worth and Tarrant County - Fort Worth, TX
Fort Worth Real Estate

Brian @ # 132:  Methinks you might really benefit from a few years of intense therapy.  Very, very strange.

Apr 01, 2010 03:22 PM
Mike Yeo
3:16 team REALTY - Frisco, TX

Paddy - well put. I think, our country has the mentality that "I deserve and I am entitled to" mentality. It is time for everyone to own up to their mistake and take responsibility.

Apr 01, 2010 03:43 PM
Brian Morgenweck
Power Realty Group, LLC Bergen County, NJ - Hackensack, NJ
Broker/Owner, GRI, CRS, ABR, SRS

Karen Anne...what a shock you feel that way!

I'll revamp the story (metaphor) to read that the gazelle pats big kitty cat on the head & they all eat free cupcakes and get trophies. It reads much nicer, I agree. My fault for never really being a fan of the "Fiction" section of the library.

Apr 01, 2010 03:57 PM
Karen Anne Stone
New Home Hunters of Fort Worth and Tarrant County - Fort Worth, TX
Fort Worth Real Estate

Brian:  Your gazelle story just seemed to come out of nowhere.  I had no idea what connection it had to Paddy's post... or why it was relevant.  And... please do not patronize me. 

As far as "fiction" is concerned... the great majority of commentors on this post... live in a fictional world... in that they appear not to have a very good grasp on reality.  That... and the reeking paranoia... if it weren't so pitiful... would almost... be funny.

Apr 01, 2010 04:04 PM
Frank Castaldini
Compass - San Francisco, CA
Realtor - Homes for Sale in San Francisco

The excesses and irresponsibility of the leaders who came before set a precedent for this kind of attitude even as they espoused the virtues on individualism.  They trashed this nation and people feel like it's their turn.  If the leadership was irresponsible they taught irresponsibility.  What is going on now is the painful recovery from the damage or leadership that had entitlement attitudes.  It will take time to unwind. 

Apr 01, 2010 04:45 PM
Faith Benedix
Homer, AK

For all of you who feel free to jump on the bandwagon about the lazy unemployed, entitement generation ad nauseum, I sincerely hope you never have to go through what millions of our fellow Americans are going through right now through no fault of there own.  Shame on you for treating such serious hardship and heartache in such a fascile, shallow way.  Your frustration is shared by most Americans but your logic is as inane as blaming a rape victim for the rape.  In this topic of personal responsibility I read very little comments regarding the banking industry deregulating leading to unprecedented levels of risks in the name of profit. Or how about the insurance companies huge profits while they force their customer base to pay more and more for less and less.  Let's also just think for just a moment about all those tax payed subidies that corporations receive and then take their jobs overseas.  Oh that is right! The Supreme court has now decided that corporations freedom of speech is the same as individuals so we can't limit how much they can interfere with our elections now.  Those same corporations though don't get taxed like we as individuals do, and apparently they also aren't held to the standards of personal responsibility you decry our lack of. 

This Sunday is Easter, I think every one of us should spend a little time on the other words that Jesus said,   "What you do unto the least of my brothers, that you do unto me"

 

 

Apr 01, 2010 05:59 PM
Kenneth Young
Uni International LLC - Virginia Beach, VA

Paddy - Good post.    Great comments by all...and I mean by everyone, it really shows how diverse and divided we are in this country.  

Personally, I don't believe in the entitlement mindset.   I believe in giving a hand up, but not a hand out.   Yes I am part of the top 10% in the income scale, but I worked hard to be here, but it doesn't mean I was always here, I've been well off twice before and lost it all, even to the point of having to sleep in my storage unit in the middle of winter and not eating for three days, but I always believed in myself...for I was taught how to fish.    I didn't ask for a hand out, maybe that was because I didn't feel I was that bad off...    I was always inspired by the following:

Every morning in Africa, a Gazelle wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the fastest lion or it will be killed. Every morning a Lion wakes up. It knows it must outrun the slowest Gazelle or it will starve to death. It doesn't matter whether you are a Lion or a Gazelle... when the sun comes up, you'd better be running.

I've spent the last two months learning the in-outs of the loan mod system, to help out those that are in need of help, giving them the opportunity to keep their home.  I don't care how they got into their situation, what I care about is showing them how to get out of it intact as much as possible.  Guess what I am saying is to teach those that need it how to fish....

 

 

 

Apr 01, 2010 06:40 PM
Elizabeth Bolton
RE/MAX Destiny Real Estate Cambridge, MA - Cambridge, MA
Cambridge MA Realtor

Paddy ~ I feel compelled to comment again because I'm dismayed by your response to Ruthmarie's comment. What she wrote has everything to do with your post. And sorry - the discussion that you started is in a sense about politics - and Ruthmarie's comment is no more politicized than what you wrote and what many have written in comments so reading your response to her comment really took me aback.

What we have nowadays is an entitlement society for corporations and the wealthy.  That's what needs to be changed.

A country that makes it harder and harder for the masses to get by while a fortunate few (not so few nowadays) are allowed to pile up vast wealth is a country that is doomed. If we're in a time when corporations are no longer playing the part that they traditionally did with pensions, insurance, job security, etc than the government needs to expand its role.

When Ruthmarie shared some details of her career story it wasn't about *her* experience - it's to illustrate an endemic problem that you seem intent on ignoring. Millions of people are not doing OK - no matter how they struggle to work, to retool, to "fish". 

I often think about how in my real estate work I'm only seeing a fraction of the population - those lucky enough to able to afford to buy real estate.  I well know - since I was one of them - that there are plenty of people out there working - sometimes with two or three jobs who are struggling to pay rent, never mind dream about buying. And that includes plenty of people with degrees from great schools or advanced degrees.

Anytime finances are tight I get a small glimpse of the desperation that people with less money feel on a daily basis.  I'm all for self-reliance, self-motivation, expanding your skills, etc but I also know how difficult it is - and how difficult we make it - for people to overcome tough times.

And for the more fortunate things are only going to get worse. Studies show that people who don't get tracked into a good job right after college never make up for that.  Plenty of people will graduate and continue to struggle despite their education and the money spent or borrowed for it.  School loans are the next thing to blow up and the rise of online degree mills and other programs preying on those desperate to retool are frightening.

I really do encourage you to keep your mind open and to do some reading about how systemic changes are making it harder and harder for Americans to fish. Here are some excellent books:

  • The Big Squeeze by Steven Greenhouse
  • High Wire by Peter Gosselin
  • The Great Risk Shift: The New Economic Insecurity and the Decline of the American Dream
  • Anything by Elizabeth Warren
  • Ditto for Barbara Ehrenreich but particularly on topic is Bait and Switch: the (Futile) Pursuit of the American Dream

for starters

Liz

Apr 02, 2010 02:07 AM
Karen Anne Stone
New Home Hunters of Fort Worth and Tarrant County - Fort Worth, TX
Fort Worth Real Estate

Faith:  An excellent comment.  The great majority of those who have commented here... wave the flag of what they call "personal responsibility."  Part of what it means for them is... "I got mine... you get your own, damn it."

Somewhere amoungst all of this "personal responsibility" hogwash they trumpet... there should be someone, somewhere... talking about how each of us, as a human being who HAS personal responsibility, also has the "personal responsibility" to be their brother's and sister's keeper."

Have any of you "self-righteous" ever heard those words before ?  From the sounds of the majority of these comments... I think not.  It appears we have some serious "cafeteria ethics" going on here.  "If it's for me... I'll take some.  If it does not directly benefit me... nah, I think I'll pass."

The majority of these comments are shameful.  People... where is your humanity ?

Apr 02, 2010 02:08 AM
Karen Anne Stone
New Home Hunters of Fort Worth and Tarrant County - Fort Worth, TX
Fort Worth Real Estate

Paddy:  The ONLY way President Obama can "bring back those jobs"... is if he gets into this really big friggin' bus... drives it overseas to India, Singapore, and all of the other places that those jobs went to... when Presidents Bush/Cheney gave massive tax breaks to the corporations who moved their operations, and their jobs, overseas... and brings back those "jobs."  And... the only way THAT will happen... is if those TAX BREAKS for the corporations are taken away.

That isn't gonna happen.  The Party of No will not allow it.  The only way it will happen... is if President Obama somehow grows another set of "brass ones."

Apr 02, 2010 02:18 AM
Paddy (Patricia) Pizappi
Better Homes and Gardens Rand Realty - Pine Bush, NY
Real Estate Associate Broker Hudson Valley NY

Karen I just wanted to make it clear that I did not ever suggest that we have no charity.  I do care for my fellow man and help people all the time.  I am suggesting that we help people to realize their full potential being a productive person increases self esteem and can only be good for a person.  I honestly think you have misunderstood my points or you have taken my personal thoughts to mean I am following some party line.  I am not.

The attempts by either political party to fix issues often result in a mess.  I don't know the answer other than it has to start with each of us and goes back to personal responsibility and the golden rule. 

Thank you for stating your views, I respect them, I hope you respect mine.

Apr 02, 2010 02:38 AM
Karen Anne Stone
New Home Hunters of Fort Worth and Tarrant County - Fort Worth, TX
Fort Worth Real Estate

Paddy:  Your post just started this parade of comments.  I have NOT singled out you.  In most all of my comments... I have talked about the COMMENTS that have been made.  YOU don't have much to do with the comments your readers.  It is those comments... almost all of them, except for about a half-dozen out of the 144 comments to date... that I have issues with.

I surely respect your opinion... and for the most part... other than "semantics" issues... I find very little to disagree with.  It is the majority of the rest... with their jaded view of what America "is supposed to be"... that I have issues with.  If you thought my comments were faulting you... that was not my intent.

All in all... the "Golden Rule" is the most important.  And that does NOT mean... "he who has the gold, makes the rules."  Have a great weekend !

Apr 02, 2010 04:05 AM
Kenneth Young
Uni International LLC - Virginia Beach, VA

Faith, Liz and Karen, let's all hold hands and sing Kumbaya.   Now that's done, back to reality.  

Personal responsibility is the issue.   For too long Americans have gone for the want instead of the need.  We bought into the advertizing that we had to have this product, or this brand name, or this other special service or we were not as good as our neighbor.  Do you need all that space in your home or is it a want?  Do you really need that fancy car, or did you want it?  What about what you are wearing, are your shoes designer or off the rack?  Do you pay for things with cash or credit card?

How you live is your own personal responsibility.  I work with many that have come recently come to this country, their examples should be taught.  I know families that live together to save money to buy a business, no one in the family spends money on wants, but needs and no one goes without.  They pool their money together, enough to buy a business, then all of them work at the business.  Then they buy a house together.   They do not expect anyone to give them anything but an opportunity.  That's what I feel is the greatness of this country, the opportunity...

The opportunity was created by our Constitution, and enforced by our Bill of Rights.  One of those rights is freedom of speech.   The comments by our fellow bloggers is an example of that right.  Your opinions are also respected and freely written.   But typical of your liberal views, and I am not saying that you are wrong, but instead of facts, you resort to name calling and trying to degrade instead of inform.

You're all for redistribution of wealth, or what has been stated as being "fair" to all.  But life is not fair, it is not suppose to be, what is to be is back to personal responsibility.  I do not know of anyone in this country what was not given the chance to go to school, public or private.  Education is the key, not so much as a college education but from K-12.  That is a start, if you can read, you can progress.  Is it my responsibility to make you read more than just what is put forward to you in school, no.  IF you can not read, is it my fault or anyone elses except your own. No.  Personal responsibility.  

If you went into a blue collar job and were satisfied with just that and used your off time to watch that "boob" tube, is that my responsibility when work slowed down and you got layed off and didn't have anything else to fall back on? No.   How long have we all heard that Social Security has been in trouble?  30 years at least, so why are you surprised that it will not be there when you retire?   Why didn't you put away a nest egg on your own instead of expecting your employer or the Government for retirement?  Personal responsibility.    Same with health care, why do you expect the Government to give you anything?  When you were young, could you not have put aside a few dollars each week for emergencies?  IF you didn't and you expect me to bail you out because you didn't take your care of your own personal responsibility, that's my fault?   Remember, when you point a finger, you always have three fingers of your own pointing right back at you.

Sorry for the long post Paddy, I just couldn't sit back....

Apr 02, 2010 05:17 AM
Karen Anne Stone
New Home Hunters of Fort Worth and Tarrant County - Fort Worth, TX
Fort Worth Real Estate

Kenneth:  Just two quick responses to your comment.  One:  Americans DO put something away for retirement.  A percentage of every single dollar earned through their work... is put aside into the Social Security fund.  All income, that is, except what is comically referred to as "unearned income."  That escapes the fairness that was originally intended for funding Social Security.  So... The Government does not pay me Social Security... I pay myself Social Security.

Number two:  Same with health care.  Americans pay taxes.  At least most Americans do, unless you have various tax shelters to keep your income from being taxed.  You probably know about those, I would bet.

And... those monies all go into the "general fund"... out of which payments for health care should and will come.  So... I pay for my own health care.  That is the fairness of the new Health Care Reform bill. Remember the phrase "promote the general welfare?" 

We in the United States average paying TWICE on health care than the countries in Europe... yet they provide health care coverage... not from the government, but from the pooled funds their own citizenry contribute in their taxes. 

In the United States... we pay approximately 16% of our GDP for health care... almost double what the average European country does... which is 8.9%

We now return you to the folk fest... and re-join in the singing of Kumbaya... now in progress.

By the way, Kenneth.  What you have had to say... is a
comment, not a post.  What Paddy has written above... is a post.  So... write this down, now.  You have made a comment on a post.  By the way... you might try using spell-check on your comments.  Have a wonderful day.

Apr 02, 2010 05:44 AM
Marte Cliff
Marte Cliff Copywriting - Priest River, ID
Your real estate writer

What's scary to me is the government efforts to put MORE people on the dole and add MORE people to the government payroll. 

This new school loan thing really bothers me - taking jobs away from the private sector and adding more jobs to the government payroll, for what? To make it easier for the government to give money for school loans?

They should be doing all in their power ot create more private sector jobs, not destroy them!

I have to reply to Andrew, who criticized those here who believe in personal responsibility yet blame the banks for the mess. Yes, people who signed those creative loans should have been smarter than that. Unfortunately, we have many in our society who are already conditioned to "taking what appears to be free." The banks knew that, they used it to get all those people into loans. When their scheme went sour, THEY should have taken responsibility and not demanded that the taxpayers bail them out.

Shouldn't corporations have personal responsibility too?

We do have thousands of people who would be working right now if there were jobs. They're the people I have pity for. Them, and those who are too old, too young, or too (genuinely) ill to work.

As for the rest - yes, teach them to fish and then tell them that if they choose not to do so they're under no obligation to eat.

All we can do is take responsibility for ourselves, teach our children to do the same, and vote out those politicians who vote for more government spending - and more redistribution of wealth.

Apr 02, 2010 06:35 AM