Hi all, I saw this and got a laugh - hope you enjoy :)
New Underwriting Guidelines effective 3/01/2010
* All Borrowers' Birth Certificate will be required with Pictures taken in the hospital with medical staff. Birth certificate with a live home delivery will not be eligible for first time home buyers.
* Marriage certificate with bridal dress will be required if both husband and wife are required to qualify for the loan
* GFE will not require signature but will require blood sampling from a recognized institution within three days of application
* DNA test will be performed at closing to avoid any ARM length transaction. Loan funding will be contingent upon satisfactory receipt of DNA results.
* Verification of deposit will be acceptable only if Bank representative is present at the closing.
* Copy of Pay stubs and W2 will only be acceptable through IRS only with a wax sealed envelope mailed directly to the lender.
* 7 Witnesses from neighborhood will be required as proof of primary residence in case Borrower owns more than 1 property.
* All appraisers will be required to use Mask and ear plugs at the time of inspection to avoid any personal influence by the Borrower for the appraised value.
* In order to correctly calculate DTI and true house running ratio a list of Grocery items, monthly usage and brand names will be required with receipts and projected 12 months consumption chart.
* Closing will not occur without loan officer presence at settlement and Loan officer picture will be taken at the closing in a Mug shot format with loan number. Picture should meet standard guideline of 2 X 2 inch in color format with one facing and one side view.
* Loan officer picture will be attached to the Deed and note and will be made available for general public and security agencies in case Borrower defaults on the loan.