New Underwriting Guidelines!! (Funny)

Real Estate Agent with HomeSmart Realty Group FA100016250

Hi all, I saw this and got a laugh - hope you enjoy :)

New Underwriting Guidelines effective 3/01/2010

* All Borrowers' Birth Certificate will be required with Pictures taken in the hospital with medical staff. Birth certificate with a live home delivery will not be eligible for first time home buyers.

* Marriage certificate with bridal dress will be required if both husband and wife are required to qualify for the loan

* GFE will not require signature but will require blood sampling from a recognized institution within three days of application

* DNA test will be performed at closing to avoid any ARM length transaction. Loan funding will be contingent upon satisfactory receipt of DNA results.

* Verification of deposit will be acceptable only if Bank representative is present at the closing.

* Copy of Pay stubs and W2 will only be acceptable through IRS only with a wax sealed envelope mailed directly to the lender.

* 7 Witnesses from neighborhood will be required as proof of primary residence in case Borrower owns more than 1 property.

* All appraisers will be required to use Mask and ear plugs at the time of inspection to avoid any personal influence by the Borrower for the appraised value.

* In order to correctly calculate DTI and true house running ratio a list of Grocery items, monthly usage and brand names will be required with receipts and projected 12 months consumption chart.

* Closing will not occur without loan officer presence at settlement and Loan officer picture will be taken at the closing in a Mug shot format with loan number. Picture should meet standard guideline of 2 X 2 inch in color format with one facing and one side view.

* Loan officer picture will be attached to the Deed and note and will be made available for general public and security agencies in case Borrower defaults on the loan.

Posted by


My Passion is Real Estate, My Goal is Results, and My Reward is Customer Satisfaction!


Pam Gordon, ABR, CDPE, SFR         P: 719-433-6297

Broker Associate, Realtor                       F: 866-433-2991

Synergy Realty Group, Inc                     E:

7606 N. Union Blvd Ste: D                     W:

Colo Spgs, CO 80920












This entry hasn't been re-blogged:

Re-Blogged By Re-Blogged At
Mortgage / Finance
Colorado El Paso County Colorado Springs
AR Comedy Club
underwriting guidelines

Spam prevention
Show All Comments
Kathy Toth
Ann Arbor Market Center Keller Williams - Ann Arbor, MI
Ann Arbor Real Estate Experts - Kathy Toth Team

Oh, I enjoyed this laugh and cry at the same time!

Mar 31, 2010 12:43 AM #1
Silvia Dukes PA, Broker Associate, CRS, CIPS, SRES
Tropic Shores Realty - Ich spreche Deutsch! - Spring Hill, FL
Florida Waterfront and Country Club Living

Pam, this is funny!  I think borrowers should be allowed to submit copies of any grocery coupons they use to reduce their DTI!

Mar 31, 2010 12:43 AM #2
Paula McDonald, Ph.D.
Beam & Branch Realty - Granbury, TX
Granbury, TX 936-203-0279

Very funny and sadly, very true.  It is getting to point of ridulous!  This isn't rocket science and should NOT be so difficult!

Mar 31, 2010 12:44 AM #3
Mary Jo Thomas
Solutions Real Estate - Phoenix, AZ

Hi Pam,  Thank you for sharing.  This was really funny and sometimes I think not far off the mark!

Mar 31, 2010 12:46 AM #4
Home Loan Search.Online
Home Loan Search Online - Newnan, GA

This is funny and I agree with all the other comments.

Mar 31, 2010 12:50 AM #5
Stephen Arnold
HomeSmart Elite Group - Scottsdale, AZ

This is hilarious!! BUT TRUE!!  Relaxed lending standards would help values stabilize and get a ton of people off of the sidelines!

Mar 31, 2010 12:53 AM #6
Sam White
College Station, TX
Integrated Marketing - Bryan College Station,

Although funny, it kind of reminds me of the reality of the way things are now. Let's hope common sense finds middle ground.

Happy Wednesday!

Mar 31, 2010 01:05 AM #7
Pat O'Reilly
RE/MAX..214-289-6176 Irving and all of Dallas Fort Worth - Irving, TX

That is funny and sad. Everything new that is supposed to make things easier and less confusing is not!!!

Mar 31, 2010 01:11 AM #8
Show All Comments

What's the reason you're reporting this blog entry?

Are you sure you want to report this blog entry as spam?


Pam Gordon

Your Colorado Springs Realtor!
Contact me for your free Property search or Home Value report

Additional Information