Don't Let Your Bad Mood Lead You to a Bad Decision

Education & Training with Sell with Soul

Bad Mood

Two Saturdays ago, we finished up the Winter of Soul (a 12-session teleseminar program about topics of interest to the Sell with Soul crowd) with a show about Getting UNStuck* - that is - how to regain your mojo when this business threatens to take you down. My favorite segment of the show was when we talked about how if you're in a Bad Mood... you're pretty much toast until you can snap out of it.

What do I mean by that? Well, if you're feeling down in the dumps about your business, have you noticed that it only seems to get worse? You and your bad mood seem to attract more to be in a bad mood about. It's an ugly, frustrating, discouraging death spiral. BAH!

But the good news is that the opposite is also true. If you can somehow resuscitate your mood so that you're feeling chipper again, you and your good mood will attract even more to be in a good mood about!

And more good news, in our business at least, is that it really doesn't take all that much to turn our day, our week or even our month around. One or two sweet referrals. A great open house. A call from a buyer who found you from your blog. And BAM! You're feeling sexy, sassy and smart again. 

So what's my point here?  

My point is that a lot of us (myself included) get all hysterical when things are going wrong and think we have to make a Big Change in order to turn things around. And that Big Change is, well, Big! And maybe scary. Maybe expensive. So, we either do nothing (and sink further into despair) or we make some not-too-well-thought-out Big Change that may be unnecessary and probably won't work anyway.

Slow down. Don't make any Big Change decisions out of fear, frustration or desperation. Don't make any Big Change decisions until you're ... yes... in a good mood.

Does this sound ridiculously simple? Yeah, I know, it is. But think about it - how was your mood the last time you made a crummy decision? I don't know about you, but I can name a dozen really dumb moves I've made in the last few years, all of which were decided upon when I was under stress. Conversely, my best decisions were made when I was feeling sassy, sexy and smart!

So, how do you go about finding your good mood? What will it take to get YOU feeling sassy, sexy and smart?

I dunno.

It's different for everyone. I know what works for ME and if I can remember to do it when I'm feeling low, I can almost always turn my mood around. And once I'm feeling better, everything else seems to fall into place, which of course improves my mood even more!

Now, I'm not talking about some monumental shift in attitude. Just enough of a shift so that you can smile, laugh and be pleasant to those around you.

Just think about it. What TRULY cheers you up? Think outside the box - go beyond the obvious things like working out or eating chocolate. What REALLY works for you?



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  1. Corey Chase 04/05/2010 01:12 AM
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Deborah Byron Leffler BzyBee Real Estate Lady!
Keller Williams Realty Boise - Nampa, ID

This is great many times have you forced yourself to smile when making calls and then next thing youknow youare laughing and in a better I tell my spouse....your mood is a decision!!!  

thanks for a great post!

Apr 05, 2010 02:16 AM #8
Charles Stallions
Charles Stallions Real Estate Services - Pensacola, FL
800-309-3414 - Pensacola, Pace or Gulf Breeze, Fl.

Great post Jennifer and I need to put some thought into that. When I see myself getting down I usually take a walk and regroup. But I seem to be taking more walks here lately.

Apr 05, 2010 03:01 AM #9
Ann Allen Hoover
RE/MAX Advantage South - Hoover, AL
CDPE SRES ASP e-PRO Realtor - Homes for Sale - AL

I can tell you what puts me in a great mood......this beautiful weather and signs of Spring everwhere!

Apr 05, 2010 03:30 AM #10
Robert Rauf
HomeBridge Financial Services (NJ) - Toms River, NJ

I have a friend that calls this FPM's Foul Personal Mood...

I am a huge proponent of scheduling "me time" to maintain sanity and stay productive. You arent going to do anyone any good if you are in the dumps. 

For me #1 is sailing... Racing Sail boats has all the pieces that help: Physical, Mental, competitive, Chalenging... 

What ever activity that you pick should have a few of these pieces. Your activity also must make you forget about work!

Apr 05, 2010 03:49 AM #11
Cari Anderson
Danville, CA

Jennifer: you ain't lying! Law of Attraction is always working whether we know/care about it or not! When I feel the downward spiral unraveling I can usually come back to the light by running, playing with my kids, reading something positive or scrapbooking. Oh, and don't call me weird but I love to organize - give me a messy closet or sock drawer and I will dive in. It relaxes me, seriously. Just thinking about all these things has put me in a better mood already - THANK YOU! ;-)

Apr 05, 2010 04:23 AM #12
Jill Schmidt
Aurora, CO

So true!  Attitude affects so much about us and our surroundings!  I need to find my "happy place".  Oh, and those you are around affect you attitude - so choose to spend your time around people who make you better and happier.

Apr 05, 2010 04:47 AM #13
Kevin J. May
Florida Supreme Realty - Hobe Sound, FL
Serving the Treasure & Paradise Coasts of Florida

Jennifer, feeling sassy, sexy and smart!  I'm not sure if I'm supposed to do that.  I guess I could if I had some Jimmy Choo's on and a nice Betsy Johnson skirt on.  Thank you!

Apr 05, 2010 10:24 AM #14
Susan Haughton
Long and Foster REALTORS (703) 470-4545 - Alexandria, VA
Susan & Mindy Team...Honesty. Integrity. Results.

Now, here is the BIG do you transfer positive thinking to the OTHER agent, who is not so positive?!  LOL  Seriously, my worst mood killers are often agents who think adversarial relationships are the way go to...sheesh.  I have started wondering if I should start having a daily happy hour or something before I get on the phone with some folks.

Apr 05, 2010 12:18 PM #15
Christine Pappas - REALTOR®
eXp Realty - Willoughby, OH
eXp Realty - Because Experience Matters

This is sooooooooooo very true!  And it happened to me just the other day.  My smart phone up and died - the nerve of it!  So, I had to revert back to doing business the old fashioned way, wait to return a call or check emails when I got back to the office - wow that was tough!  Anyhow as I was standing in the Verizon store and the man was trying to help me, I of course was feeling the stress of not being at the beck and call of everyone and admittedly was a bit snippy,  since I had just listened to your last call - I caught myself being a royal pain and stopped mid sentence, took a deep calming breath, asked God for forgiveness, apologized to the man and started over.  He worked his tail off to get me a phone the very next day and later that night I had an amazing phone call!  Good things happen when you give good!  Thanks for the mojo reminder and boost!

Apr 05, 2010 12:22 PM #16
Bryant Tutas
Tutas Towne Realty, Inc and Garden Views Realty, LLC - Winter Garden, FL
Selling Florida one home at a time

Jennifer, What works for me is to continue to move forward no matter what. I don't let my moods get in the way of my work. Even when I don't feel like it I get up and go to work. Before I know it I'm back in the swing of things.

Apr 05, 2010 12:44 PM #17
Lisa Stafford
Broken Arrow, Tulsa, McGraw Realtors - Broken Arrow, OK
Broken Arrow OK Homes For Sale

Jennifer, Sometimes it hard, but I stop thinking about me and start trying to help someone else out, or make someone smile.  When I stop focusing on me, my mood changes.

Apr 05, 2010 01:37 PM #18
Don Wixom
RE/MAX Executives Nampa, ID - Nampa, ID
"Looking out for your next move..."tm

Jennifer, my assistant reminded me the other day that we can decide what our mood will be every morning. I know it sounds cliche-ish, but I really do believe it! It might be easier said than done, to NOT let circumstances control our mood, but I think Joy & Happiness truly come from within.

I can catch myslef getting low & sad, etc. and for me, I think simply taking ACTION can make a world of difference! Get something accomplished and you often feel better, more at peace.

Lots of Prayer too!

Great post! Thank you!

Apr 05, 2010 02:03 PM #19
Donne Knudsen
Los Angeles & Ventura Counties in CA - Simi Valley, CA
CalState Realty Services

Jennifer - LOL at Susan's (#15) comment.  Some Realtors around here are literally the grim reapers when it comes to dealing with them.  Those are the ones that I try to limit my contact with to emails rather than phone calls because they are such drags to speak with.

I'm often told that I'm a great attitude adjuster.  These days, so many of my buyers are having to deal with so many trials and tribulations in finding a home and getting into escrow and don't even get me started on the attitude it takes to close a loan.  I have to stay positive because I have to get my buyers (mostly first timers) through all of this madness. 

I get calls almost everyday from my clients who are pre-approved and out there looking and who get so discouraged with the crap that they have to go through that they just want to give up.  When I get these calls, I do my best to to keep their spirits up and keep them motivated.  Quite frankly, I don't have the time or luxury of being stuck in a bad mood, I've got clients to serve and business to conduct and loans to close. 

By the end of the conversation, I can usually cheer them up and they appreciate that.  Just today, I had a client tell me that she likes talking to me because I'm always so cheerful and positive.  Hmmm...

Apr 05, 2010 05:59 PM #20
Mike Jones
SUNSTREET MORTGAGE, LLC (BK-0907366, NMLS 145171) - Tucson, AZ
Mike Jones NMLS 223495


Great advice!  (On the other hand, if I have to wait until I'm feeling "sassy, sexy & smart" it might be awhile.  LOL)

Mike in Tucson

Apr 05, 2010 08:17 PM #21
Tanya Nouwens
RE/MAX ROYAL (JORDAN) INC. / Tanya Nouwens Inc. - Montreal West Island, QC
Montreal Real Estate Broker & Stager

For me, it's laughing about something ridiculous with my husband or snuggling with my boys.  Talk about mood breakers!  I need to do that more often....thanks for the reminder : ) -- Tanya in Montreal

Apr 06, 2010 08:10 AM #22
Dave Hymes
RE/MAX Gold - Placerville, CA

When I'm feeling that way I call a friend who always makes me laugh. She usually threatens me if I don't snap out of it. Sometimes it takes several calls.

Apr 07, 2010 12:14 PM #23
Clark Hitchcock
Re/Max Nyda Realty Inc - Chilliwack, BC
Realtor - Fraser Valley

Emotions they can really hinder, when we are with clients and dragging our lips along the pavement it really does affect them, so it really is important to have happy thoughts. Just have to figure out what those are some days.

Apr 10, 2010 08:29 AM #24
Leslie Helm
Tennessee Recreational Properties - Jamestown, TN
Real Estate For Trail Riders

Hi, Jennifer.'re RIGHT! People don't want a realtor who is down in the dumps, the proverbial bucket of cold water. Being realistic and getting the cards on the table is one thing but it's important to SEEM successful because you will be PERCEIVED as being successful....and you will be far more successful than if you mope around, telling everyone how bad the market is right now!

Apr 11, 2010 08:03 AM #25
Robert Vegas Bob Swetz
Realty ONE Group - Las Vegas, NV
Las Vegas Henderson Homes for Sale

Hello again Jennifer and thanks for your words of advice they might just help me along the way of life!

VB ;-)

Apr 12, 2010 12:49 AM #26
Ann Cordes
Century 21 Randall Morris and Associates, Waco - Waco, TX
Home Ownership is Not a Distant Dream

In my cubicle I have a big pair of red lips with a mirror in the middle. If I am a little down while making phone calls, i stand up and look in the mirror and smile. The act of smiling actually makes me feel better.

Apr 21, 2010 08:28 AM #27
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