Do You Know Your Buyers' and Sellers' Love Languages?

A book that belongs in your library -- and is a must read:  THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES by Dr. Gary Chapman.

A summary of the languages are on Dr. Gary Chapman's website.

It is actually your duty as an agent to discover the love language of your clients.  When you do this, you will create a bond that will develop into a lifelong relationship. 

If you client's primary love language is:

Words of Affirmation
Mark Twain once said "I can live for two months on a good compliment." 

Chapman writes, "Verbal appreciation speaks powerfully to persons whose primary Love Language is "Words of Affirmation." 

Your delivery of good and bad news is going to have the highest of impact on your client.

I advise my trainees to "speak in the positive" -- and to avoid negative phraseology.

For example:  Mr. and Mrs. Seller, "Please remember to contact me if you have any questions.  Just say the word, and I will be back here in a moment's notice!"

instead of "Don't forget to call me .  . . . you won't believe how fast I can get back to you!"

Dr. Chapman also states that offering words of encouragement -- especially in light of difficult decision making, will speak volumes to the Buyer or Seller who possesses this primary love language.

"Aside from verbal compliments, another way to communicate through "Words of Affirmation" is to offer encouragement.  Here are some examples: reinforcing a difficult decision; calling attention to progress made on a current project; acknowledging a person's unique perspective on an important topic. If a loved one listens for "Words of Affirmation," offering encouragement will help him or her to overcome insecurities and develop greater confidence."

Quality Time
If your client's primary language is Quality Time, you had best be listening -- and refraining from tap, tap, tapping on your computer, looking at e-mails, and responding with, "uh, huh, yup, ok."

Dr. Chapman writes: Quality time is more than mere proximity. It's about focusing all your energy on your [client]."

In other words, be "in the moment."  It's so easy to tune out instead of practicing "active listening" -- with eye-to-eye contact. 

Receiving Gifts
You have it pretty easy if your client's love language is gifts. The time spent picking out the exact gift  will speak loud volumes of love and appreciation to your client and will create that everlasting bond.

This client may be more visual and desire "visual signs of love."

I remember one Hanukkah I took a beautiful  plant wrapped in blue and silver ribbon to one of my new Sellers.  They were so appreciative and the gift set the tone for the remainder of the transaction.

The gift may be inexpensive; however, the gift may be priceless because --

Sometimes the gift is YOU.

Acts of Service
I believe that EVERY GOOD REAL ESTATE AGENT possesses this love language.  Real Estate is definitely a service industry -- so service tends to be second nature for us.

A survey was once taken in a group wherein I was participating.  The leader asked all the women in the room, "how many of you feel your love language is acts of service?"  Half the room stood up.  He asked the standing group, "how many of you had fathers whose love language was acts of service?"  All the standing women remained standing.  He proceeded to tell us that those statistics held true in every group wherein he took that survey.

When you serve your client -- with heartfelt service and no strings attached, it will speak volumes to the "acts of service" client.  You have a friend and client for life.

Physical Touch
Real Estate agents need to be careful with this one.

A "hug" greeting, a "kiss on the cheek," a strong handshake, a touching of the elbow or upper back-- will have high impact on the client whose love language is physical touch.

Some agents and business professionals will work hard to protect their personal space -- but a client with the language of physical touch may attempt to invade that! 

Both parties must be comfortable with the interchange.  I always "test the situation" before I touch a shoulder or an arm or extend a hug.  Handshakes tend to be widely accepted, but beware of cultures where touching is a taboo.

According to Todd Duncan, author of High Trust Selling, a client can put $80,000 in your pocket over a twenty-year period from repeat and referral business.  

HIGH TRUST SELLING, By Todd Duncan, Thomas Nelson Publishers, Nashville 2002, ISBN 0 7852 6393 4
252 pages

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REAL ESTATE IS A RELATIONSHIP BUSINESS -- therefore, 

Your intuition, analysis and speaking the love languages of your clients will grow your business, increase your bank account, and enhance  the quality of your work life.

Imagine what it could do for your home life!