How to ensure your house NEVER sells....

Real Estate Agent with Texas Heritage Real Estate TREC# 499747

Great advice from Jeanna! Its what we all (as Realtors) want to say so many times...

Original content by Jeanna Martinez

How to ensure your house NEVER sells....

So, you are selling your house.  You have hired a fantastic REALTOR® who has blasted the internet with great pictures and information about your house.  The house is price just perfect for the market and the neighborhood, as well as the condition of the house.  You have de-cluttered and have started packing and you are ready to get your house sold


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 The showing appointments start coming in everything is moving right along, BUT that is not by any means the end of it.  There are still plenty of things that can prevent you from getting that offer you so desire.  Here is a true list of things I have witnessed while showing houses to my clients and each one completely turned off the buyer (some names and details have been changed to protect the innocent).  Notice...not a single one of these things has anything what-so-ever to do with the ACTUAL house.

1.  Stick around during the showings - oh, and make sure you follow the potential buyers and their REALTOR® around giving them an interactive and informative tour of your house.

2.  Since you are at the appointment already, make sure you tell the buyers and their REALTOR® how desperate you are to sell your house because you have been relocated  and must move in 3 weeks.

3.  Be VERY picky about scheduling appointments (i.e. 24 hour notice required, showings only on Monday, Wednesday and Thursday from 12:00 - 2:00, etc.).  On the same note, make sure you decline at least every third showing because "it's not a good time".

4.  Don't clean up after your indoor pets - that includes liter boxes, cat and dog hair, chew toys, bird droppings and other stuff pets like to leave lying around.

5.  Keep your dirty laundry (at least a week's worth) on your kitchen counter.

6.  Keep your dirty dishes and last nights un-eaten food in your (or your kid's) bedroom.

7.  Accept the appointment then make sure your adult son is asleep in his boxers upstairs during the showing.

8.  Leave your dirty underwear on the bathroom floor.

9.  Don't flush or clean your toilets (while you are at it - don't dust or sweep, EVER).


10.  Make sure your neighbors hold the buyers hostage for at least 30 minutes with stories of how he/she is the HOA president and he/she makes sure every house conforms to the by-laws right down to measuring the length of grass on each lawn to the centimeter.

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Now, if you, on the other hand DO want your house to sell in a timely manner then this would be a list of things NOT to do.  Happy selling and I hope everyone has a great week!

Jeanna Martinez license #538288




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Comments (2)

Jeanna Martinez
RE/MAX Access - Schertz, TX

Paula - Thank you so much for the re-blog!  I'm flattered! :-)

May 12, 2010 04:54 AM
Sussie Sutton
David Tracy Real Estate - Houston, TX
David Tracy Real Estate for Buyers & Sellers

Oh this is just so funny! I will have to relay this to some of my friends! 

Coming to you from Texas....

May 13, 2010 03:24 PM