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Back Scratch Fever

By
Home Stager with Interior Solutions by J.D. Eiman

The Japanese have a beautiful way of doing business that I learned while living there and making friends with shop keepers and restaurant owners. This mindset is truly "foreign" to the American business community. Since learning of this at a young age, I have adopted it as my referral plan. It is both fulfilling and stress free. And it really makes my life simpler as I don't have to keep up with what I owe whom.

I have shared this concept with friends and family with much success, so I wanted to share it with all of you: Realtors®, Stagers, Mortgage Bankers, Escrow Officers, Title Reps and Consumers. There are so many applications for this that the world needs to hear.

In Japan, when a shop owner has a clothing boutique and his friends come to shop, the owner doesn't give his friend a discount or deal. The friend simply shops at the store because he wants his friend to succeed. In return, that shop owner goes to eat at friend's restaurant, and guess what? She pays full price! No "do I still owe you?", or "didn't I pay you back?", or even worse, "I never got a discount in return". And mind you, this method works even if both friends don't have a business. The Japanese model is more "pay-it-forward" than "let's make a deal".

Now for the American way: I think it's somewhere between I'll-scratch-your-back-if-you'll-scratch-mine and Whimpy's request to "gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today". It is my experience that trades/referral fees/kickbacks and deals are expected... and it is really surprising when not taken advantage of or offered. For example, years ago I worked part time for a bank that was shut down by the FDIC. I was self insured, but many of the employees didn't know what to do for health insurance coverage. I asked my independent agent come to the bank and meet with everyone that was interested. He got a couple new clients, the employees got health insurance and I got nothing! Now, of course, you know I'm not complaining about it. In fact, my agent kindly offered to pay a month's premium for me. But I declined and explained to him my Japanese methodology.  My hope is that he applied it somewhere in his life, too.

One of the best things about this style of doing business is you never have to make the mistake of under valuing a service or a friend. Were I or my health insurance agent's his new clients only worth one month's premium I could have wondered?  Or was that $400 discount at the restaurant worth the .0025% deal I got on my home loan? Or did I refer ten or eleven clients to them and was that 5 of 6 I got in return. The problem is the current "system" in America just does not work! Feelings are hurt, business is expected instead of earned and everyone is keeping tabs. How exhausting!

Now, I know some of you who would rather get a deal from the restaurant owner, and then give him a deal later, and, of course, you really would give that deal as your word is good. But how many of you have been on the wrong end of this equation before? I still feel a little uncomfortable reminding someone that they owe me, which is why it is easier to say "no" the first time, then to learn to accept the losses.

This isn't to say that you can't make strategic partnerships - and create teams to work together, just do it for the mutual benefit of the team and leave out the kickbacks, referral fees, bartering and trades. How much nicer referral networks would be without all the back scratching fever!

As for Interior Solutions, we don't want you to hire us because you get a discount. Hire us because you:

  • trust us,
  • like working with us and
  • value our skills!

And we will tell people about you because we:

  • like you
  • think you have integrity and
  • are good at what you do!

If you want great staging services to sell homes faster call us, if you want your back scratched call the competition.

Show All Comments Sort:
Mike Fotiou
First Place Realty - Calgary, AB
Calgary & Area Real Estate

What an informative and interesting post! (I've always wanted to visit Japan!) Thanks for sharing this way of business - it makes me stop and think.

Aug 03, 2007 11:08 AM
JoAnn Eiman
Interior Solutions by J.D. Eiman - Placentia, CA
Interior Solutions, Home Staging in O.C.

Mike:

Like I said - it is foreign to most of us - but it sure blesses a friend and makes no enemies! We hired an electrian friend to help us on an out of town remodel on a Saturday. We put him up in a hotel, paid him a full hourly rate and bought him diner. We knew we were getting the best and he worked hard for us. So we were the winners in that situation. I can keep going - but I don't want to toot my horn. Just give examples! P.S. book your trip today! I've got a couple of travel agents I would recommend! :-)

Aug 03, 2007 11:14 AM
Dick & Sandy Beals
Wilmington Real Estate 4U Wilmington, NC - Wilmington, NC

Hi JoAnn,

You are so right!  I and our business model call that "You Get by Giving"  Of course most recipients don't realize this, but it makes us feel good, and comes back to us in different ways!

Dick Beals

Aug 03, 2007 11:31 AM
Michelle Minch
Moving Mountains Design Home Staging, Pasadena, CA - Los Angeles, CA
Home Staging Los Angeles and Orange County, CA

JoAnn: Thank you for this blog. I agree that it is better business to be generous in your referrals (although I do occassionally choose to give a gift to someone who has been particularly generous to me) than to expect to be paid in kind with discounts. Someone is always left feeling short changed - sometimes both parties. My philosophy is to charge a price for my services that is fair to my clients and fair to me. I don't discount my services because that is also a way of devaluing my services. I will, however, add a little something extra, like staging an extra powder room, if I think it will make the difference between getting or not getting a job.

Aug 03, 2007 12:01 PM
Margaret Ann Innis
Decorate To Sell - Merrimack Valley Real Estate Staging - Andover, MA
Real Estate Staging - MA & NH
Hi JoAnne!  I follow the same philosophy.  I do business with someone because of quality and service - not for the discount.  And I look forward to the same in return.  Great post!  Thank you!
Aug 03, 2007 12:27 PM
Rhonda Hay Rawlins
Glastonbury Home Staging - Glastonbury, CT
Joanne - I so agree with you. I think this applies to both your personal and professional life. I don't like people that keep score. Sometimes in life we may receive more than we give; and other times when we can do more for others we do. If people are always keeping track of a favor they may have done for someone, always feeling like someone owes them something; they made find themselves in for a rude awakening when life throws them a curve ball and they need help from others. Always do what you can for others because it is the right thing to do, and if possible do it discreetly. I think truly generous people do for others quietly, without fanfare, not looking to score any points or gain favor or attention for themselves. It honors the dignity of both the giver and the receiver. 
Aug 03, 2007 02:11 PM
Alexander Harb
Knights Investing - Mesquite, TX
Dallas, Texas Real Estate Investing

You go girl!!!

Awesome way to live.......

I am sure if you are married your husband is very glad to be your companion... you honor him!!

GBY!!

=-)

Aug 03, 2007 03:06 PM
Calie Waterhouse
Chandler, AZ
Community Builder
WOW - JoAnn - this is very good and very thought provoking.  I like the idea of paying honor to a neighbor or local businessman - simply because I want them to succeed.  For me, this goes along with my desire to frequent mom-and-pop shops over the franchises.  In the end, I think we're all better because of it.  Thanks for posting.  I appreciated it.
Aug 04, 2007 09:55 AM
Sue Argue
Staged First Impressions - Hampton, NH
NH Home Stager

LOVE IT, excellent post.

 

Aug 04, 2007 12:15 PM
Kathleen Lordbock
Keller Williams Realty Professionals - Baxter, MN
Keller Williams Realty Professionals
We had a Japanese exchange student when I was growing up and she was very gracious.
Aug 05, 2007 01:58 PM
Monica Heshmat
Staged.Results. - Chatham, IL

 

Wonderful post! What you give comes back and maybe more. My first staging contract was with a contractor and I was nervous, in the end and he referred us to his wife who referred us to her brother in-law that is a contractor too! All I wanted was to provide quality service and it came back to us three fold...Thanks again for the post...Monica

Aug 05, 2007 02:23 PM
Jo Potvin
Design To Market LLC - Cincinnati, OH
Home Staging Cincinnati - Design To Market
Great Post.  This is so timely!  I just had new brochures printed and met to meet with the professional photographer that does my photos after we do a job.  I have been able to provide several new client opportunities and in exchange he will help in sharing my brochures with his clients.  This is a winning strategy for both of us and I do not feel that there is a need to keep track.  I can be confident that we will help to talk up each other's business and we both will win. 
Sep 21, 2007 02:38 PM