Why My Competition Isn't The Agent Down The Street

Real Estate Agent with Karen Parsons-Fiddler, Broker 949-510-2395 BRE# 01494165

I spent a wonderful day Saturday at Rain Camp...and took decent notes. Most of the agents there were local Realtors. I suppose they could be considered my "competition" yet while we were there, we all helped each other get proper notes and participated in brain-storming moments. I really got some great ideas from people around me...new phrases, software and tools.

This morning I received an email from someone who was there asking me if I were willing to trade notes from the day.....of course! Then this person (names withheld to protect the innocent....and silly) told me that they had asked a number of people who had attended the same thing, and NONE of them would trade notes?


I really didn't understand why until I gave it more thought....they consider us competition. That's just not true. Of course we can "steal" someone's ideas for keyword phrases or Facebook groups....but there are a million others, the main thing I got from the Rain Camp Day is that real success is doing the right thing consistently. Our speaker, Ben Kinney, is hugely successful and made it clear that we could all use anything he does.....he doesn't care. Why? because he knows the real secret......

Himself!!! Us!!! ME

You can't be me. So how are you competing with me? You're not, and I'm not competing with you. We are working in the same market, and every time I've lost a client....it's had nothing to do with YOU!!! It's had everything to do with ME, my bad service, bad follow-up, lack of information, laziness or just plain stupidity...yes, it happens. If they then end up with YOU....that's my fault.

So, of course, I sent off my notes and received some great ones in return....this person actually included graphics in the notes...wow!!! I'm professional enough not to use specific terms or keywords, those were meant for them and not me...but I'm sure I'll gain good ideas from what they thought about, and I hope they get some from mine.

Share, Brain Storm, Relate.....we are not competition!

Comments (92)

Shannon Thomas
Selling Indy Metro, LLC - Avon, IN
Managing Broker, E-Pro, ABR,SRS, SFR

Love your post.  I am so in agreement.  I'm not in competition with you just need to be the best I can be, if we are always trying to improve and we share what we know we gain so much more. 

Jun 18, 2010 11:55 PM
Brian Gaverth
Redfin Corporation - Springfield, VA
Realtor(r), CDPE(r)


Nice post.  I'm fortunate to have found a true team atmosphere with my broker where the other agents are willing to help, share ideas, and give sound advice.  It's unfortunate that there are some agents that hope for their colleagues' demise.  It'll be great when we all get along and work together for smooth transactions for the consumer and economy.

Jul 26, 2010 05:32 AM
Sergio DePinto
Royal LePage Maximum Realty.,Brokerage - Greater Toronto Area - Vaughan, ON


Great sentiments... I always think that no one can take our share of business. We should all be helping each other. In all my years in this business I've always trusted first and give everyone a chance. I've rarely been betrayed...only a few times actually. I wasn't very nice about it.

All in all, sharing is the right thing to do.


Aug 10, 2010 08:31 PM
Beth Atalay
Cam Realty and Property Management - Clermont, FL
Cam Realty of Clermont FL

Karen, great post!!! Although we work in the same field, we are individuals and how we handle our business and our takeaways from seminars, webinars, classes are different.  It is a much happier world when we all get along and share our knowledge.

Much success to you

Sep 22, 2010 05:27 AM
Brin Realty Associates Team At Bean Group
Bean Group | Brin Realty Associates - Amherst, NH
Amherst NH homes and Southern NH real estate

Spoken like an Active Rainer with heart...good for you.

Oct 09, 2010 11:53 PM
Michael Jacobs
Pasadena, CA
Los Angeles Pasadena 818.516.4393

Wow---a great post.  Thanks for sharing your thoughts.  

Nov 01, 2010 10:21 AM
Renee Marrs Caperton
Marrs & Associates - Corsicana, TX
Realtor - Corsicana Texas Real Estate
Well put! Thanks for sharing your insights and congrats on the featured post-you deserve it.
Dec 09, 2010 10:43 PM
Bill MacBride
Ski-in/Ski-out, Luxury homes, Second Home Buyers - Mammoth Lakes, CA
Mammoth Lakes Resort Real Estate

HI Karen,

Great article.

I'm with you when it comes to sharing information, knowledge, tips, success stories etc.

Being willing to help others is a benchmark of your growth and depth as a human being.

Keep up the good work.

Have a prosperous 2011!

Bill MacBride

Jan 22, 2011 07:30 AM
Joy Daniels
Joy Daniels Real Estate Group, Ltd. - Harrisburg, PA

really enjoyted your post - thank you Karen.  I am a part of a mastermind group of top realtors - I feel like I am the small fish in the sea - so I thank people like you are willing to share!

Jan 23, 2011 04:58 AM
Michele Myers
Prudential Homesale Services Group - Harrisburg, PA
Harrisburg/Hershey Realtor

Karen, enjoyed your post, and I agree with everything you said.  I am a top producer for my company and constantly share information with my peers. Every day is a new learning experience for me and I hope that there will be more folks out there who will be as forthcoming as you have been.

Feb 04, 2011 01:48 AM
Yvonne Jaramillo Ahearn, Esq. (B)
Hawaii Life Real Estate Brokers - Kailua, HI

Great post! I too like to approach things from the spirit of cooperation, rather than competition. Time is well spent sharing and learning from others. There is plenty of business for everyone who works hard, not scarcity ... aloha

Feb 14, 2011 11:37 AM
Digital Digital
Alachua, FL
full service

Hi Karen,
Thanks for sharing!
This is still a great blog about sharing.
I've heard it said before that in order to grow as a person, you should give so that you can make space to receive.
Have a wonderful week!

Jul 26, 2011 03:58 PM
Susan Jackson
America's Network Realty Group, Inc - Sandy Springs, GA

Hi Karen,

Just look at what we do her at Activerain, sharing is key.  What makes the difference is the person.

Nov 02, 2011 11:14 AM
Maria Morton
Platinum Realty - Kansas City, MO
Kansas City Real Estate 816-560-3758

Karen, great post! It's good to see professionals in our business are finally getting this. I was in a very competitive office a few years ago - No sharing and lots of back stabbing. The office I'm in now is great! Everyone shares. Everyone helps one another. No prima donas. It's a lot like Active Rain only IRL.

Nov 25, 2011 06:04 AM
Michelle Molinari
FEATURE THIS... Real Estate Staging & Interior Decor - Lafayette, LA
Feature This Real, Estate Staging & Curb Appeal Concepts

I love it! Excellent post. Yup, You can't be me!

Dec 11, 2011 12:46 PM
Fred Carver Personal Real Estate Corporation
RE/MAX Camosun Victoria BC Real Estate - Victoria, BC
Accredited Real Estate Consultant

Hi Karen....We're in the Giving Business and AR is all about Sharing...I too asked someone at Rain camp if they would share some notes...Never heard from them. I have a hearing disability and do not always pick up on spoken words...

Just today after Reading Maria Morton's Post and sharing her listing presentation I forwarded it to three other Realtors in my office...I see it as maybe helping their business not competing with one another.

Great post Karen...Sorry I missed it in 2010. Congratulations on your feature then.

Feb 19, 2012 08:37 AM
Dana Hollish Hill
Hollish Hill Group, JPAR Stellar Living - Bethesda, MD
REALTOR * Broker * Coach

I am very lucky to be in an office where people share with and nurture each other. I would be very shocked at the reactions some of you received. But I think you are right. They see you as the competition.

"You can't be me!"

My new favorite quote.

There are so many young or new agents who are trying to find their place in this industry. I have enjoyed training just a few of them over the years. Sometimes they look at things I do and then I watch them try to do the same thing. Other times I can see in their faces that they would never do what I do. Now I know what to say. "You can't be me."

Thanks for the great post.





Mar 07, 2012 01:03 AM
Dylan Taft
Dylan Taft Broker/Owner Taft Street Realty, Inc. - Woodstock, NY
Ulster County Area Consultant

Interesting post.  After thinking more about it, I agree.  We should share our knowledge and help each other.  Although a good healthy competition is good, even if you have to create that sene of competition....

Jul 30, 2012 11:20 PM
Margaret Rome Baltimore 410-530-2400
HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400 - Pikesville, MD
Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome

Karen, This post from 2010 is so perfect. Would love to see you rework  and repost. It needs to be brought back to life.

Hope you had a good Valentine's Day.

Feb 14, 2013 07:20 PM
Brad MacKenzie
Brad MacKenzie - Duxbury, MA
Turning Houses into Homes on the South Shore

Absolutely right.  My office is full of people who "get" that cooperation is good for everybody and what goes around makes what comes around better for everybody.  Just down the street in the next town is an office where everybody hides everything and competes and backstabs, just as most of the other agents in the other agencies in that town do.  It's silly and self-defeating.  It also depresses morale.  There's just no upside, really.  We are all in this together.  I'm not sure why it is so difficult for people to see the advantages of acting that way.

Mar 17, 2013 11:04 PM