Why is there a Gorilla in your car????

 

     “Charles----go call your Aunt Theresa and ask her if you kids can go over to her house and play for the afternoon.”

“OK.”

     I went into the living room and picked up the phone----someone was already on the line----they were talking about how high their corn was.

“I can’t call her now------Mrs. Nahibowitz   is on the line.”

“Well, try again in a few minutes.”

“OK.”

 

     The other day I got thinking about this common occurrence regarding the use of the phone back when I was a kid.  Today, most people would not believe me if I told them that there was such a thing as a “party line.”  Toting the party line is a different type of politics----but telephone party lines was politics nonetheless.  There might be anywhere from 2 to 20 families all sharing the same phone line and you would have to wait your turn to use the line if someone was already on it.  Supposedly these party lines still exist in some parts of the country.  You could eavesdrop and learn all kinds of stuff----kind of like Facebook----but without any controls.  People talk about how our lives have become less private because of the internet.  Our lives were certainly not private in Small Town America in the 50’s----everyone knew everyone else’s business----and it could be even more vicious.  A guy named McCarthy started a whole new “ism” during this time period.

     But that is not what this post is about----I will save that for another time.

     There actually was a time----I can still remember it-----when you might actually have to wait longer than a nano-second to get back to someone when they called you. 

     Cell phones have made it so that you can talk to someone while you are driving, climbing a mountain, eating at a restaurant, sitting on the toilet----and even while having sex.  The prevailing attitude is that if you miss that call----or ignore that call----or let it go to voice mail---YOU WILL LOSE MONEY!!!!!

     There was a recent article in the Seattle Times, written by a couple of guys that have also written a book called “The Invisible Gorilla,” that talks about the problems associated with talking on the phone while driving.

     It made me ask the question: “Is it worth someone dying?

     That is right.  Is it worth someone dying as a result of you talking on the phone while you are driving?

     Washington State, like so many states, has regulations about using hands free phone devices while driving.  This is true in spite of there being NO evidence to support the idea that hands free devices reduce the dangers of using a cell phone while driving.  There is actually evidence to support the idea that they are just as dangerous to use. 

     The problem is not in the phone itself, but in the way the human brain works.  The human brain simply cannot be attentive to two things at the same time.  For all of you that think “multi-tasking” is real, I am afraid I have some disappointing news.  If we attempt to process two things at the same time----we do each one half as well----or worse----not at all.  If this is even half true I think we can see that this could lead to VERY dangerous possibilities.

     It is not hard to see that use of a hands free devicee could actually lead to increasing the problem by giving people a false sense of safety.  People will tend to assume it is safer because there is legislation that says it is safer.  In reality this is just another example of the government acting without all the facts or in spite of the facts----feel good legislation.

     I personally have decided to interrupt the busybodies on the “party-line,” and do the right thing----and avoid talking on the phone while driving. 

     People will just have to leave me a message and I will call them back----like in the “olden days.” 

     Now I will be able to focus on driving so that I can compensate for all those that are NOT paying attention----but who think they are paying attention.

     Driving in the car used to be the time when I did a lot of problem solving----thinking.

     It will be nice to have my brain back.

     As far as I know, there are no adverse affects to thinking while driving.

     All I need now is some Bluetooth Methadone----or just go cold turkey----and get that Gorilla off my back and out of my car.

 

Charles Buell, Seattle Home Inspector

 

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