I love cherry pie. I mean, I rrrreally love cherry pie.
I could probably eat cherry pie for breakfast, lunch and dinner. And maybe a late-night snack, as well.
I can remember when I was little... whenever Mom was making some sort of dessert... I would do whatever I could to get her to make a cherry pie. Sometimes my bribery even worked. Yum !
I know someone... his name is Mark. Mark... loves ribs.
Mark could eat ribs for breakfast... he could eat ribs for lunch... he could eat ribs for dinner. And maybe a late-night snack, as well.
But recently, Mark and I have had a problem.
You see... Mark... does not like cherry pie. Now, why that is... I have no clue. I think something may have happened in his childhood. Or perhaps he had a bad experience one night when he was out on the town. I do not know.
But when Mark saw how much I liked cherry pie... he sorta went ballistic. Then when he learned that there were others who also "loved differently" than he did... and also had cherry pie three or four times a day... he got even more upset.
At first, when I asked him why it bothered him so much... he was silent. Then, after a long silence, he started muttering something about how my eating cherry pie... "endangered" his ribs. He does love ribs that much.
Then... he started quoting from the Bible... something from Leviticus... about cherry pie. I don't know... it was too confusing.
He said he feared that other folks he knew who also loved ribs... might think less of ribs... because I liked cherry pie so much.
I tried to tell him that ribs and cherry pie had nothing to do with each other. People were free to love either way... ribs or cherry pie, or even both. Ribs for dinner, cherry pie for dessert.
He seemed very much set in, and even wrapped in... his fear that ribs would become less popular.
I tried to tell Mark... that just because I liked cherry pie... it had NOTHING to do with his ribs. I promised him I would never take away his ribs. I even offered to sign a notarized statement to make sure he understood that none of my cherry pie would ever, ever lessen his liking for ribs.
For some reason, that was not enough.
So... last night... Mark went down to one of his favorite rib joints... and started to circulate some sort of petition. He talked about getting enough signatures on enough petitions to put a "proposition" on the ballot... "outlawing" cherry pie.
He was going to name it... "Proposition Ribs."
He said he had already lined up mammoth support for his "Proposition Ribs." He had spoken with various church groups... all of which had previously put on "rib fests" as part of their fund-raising efforts.
He even had attorneys lined up, and rib-loving radio talk-show hosts on board. Somehow, he said... he and his organization... RAACP... Real Americans Against Cherry Pies... was already organizing boycotts of local food stores that sold cherry pies.
There was no way, he said, that my personal love of cherry pies... was going to lessen... or damage... the taste of the ribs he loved so much.
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