I just love this woman - Lenn Harley makes me laugh - and sometimes cry all in one post!!!
REPUBLISHED FROM A POST TO MY ACTIVERAIN BLOG ON SEPTEMBER 20, 2009.
Enjoy! It's a hoot reading it today. I wrote this before realizing that Fannie Mae was exempt from Sarbanes Oxley. Pity!
Dear Mr. President. I'M GOING TO MAKE AN OFFER. I'm willing to do my part to help fund the bail-out.
Thanks for coming to the rescue, Mr. President. Your management of the financial debacle is a tad late to give much confidence to most Americans, but, although a lot of damage has been done and the bail-out of large financial institutions doesn't help the American home owner facing foreclosure, we understand that you and Congress have priorities and a simple real estate broker can't be expected to understand.
I understand that the average cost for the bail-out plan you folks are working on this week will cost the average tax payer about $10,000. Of course, that doesn't cover costs not yet included in the bail-out plan. Nor does it cover the usual and expected government cost overruns.
Considering how much money the U.S. Government has in the bank, which I believe to be absolutely $0.00, I'm making you an offer today to help with the financing of the bail-out.
Oh, you appreciate the willingness of citizens to pitch in and help, do you? Good.
We Americans are always willing to do our part to support the costs of government to defend our great country and, what is the other thing you folks are supposed to do? Oh, I remember, regulate interstate commerce. I haven't heard much about the interstate commerce task lately. So, I'm assuming that it's going pretty well.
We are usually called on to simply pay our taxes and trust the members of the House and Senate to do what's best for the greater good with our hard earned money through the tax code. I believe the tax code is about 13,458 pages. I haven't read it because I don't have that much trouble sleeping. The tax code appears to change every two years or so, depending on which of the folks on the hill have been befriended by the lobbyists of which group or which company that can use their help. I've got to say, those folks on the hill are really a friendly bunch. They take the responsibility to spend our money for so many wonderful things that we would never think of buying ourselves.
Oh, you want the details of my offer? O.K. Here's the deal.
Mr. President, Sir, I'm willing to send you a cashier's check in the amount of $10,000 first thing Monday morning if you'll agree to the following:
1. DEPARTMENT OF THE TREASURY. Please ask Secretary Paulson to have a copy-editor check the new
$700,000,000,000 bail-out bill to make sure he doesn't accidentally add an extra "0". It's a little thing, but one more "0" on the tab for this bill would mean an $8,000,000,000,000 tab and getting into the "Trillion" area makes folks a tad nervous.
2. BOARD OF GOVERNORS OF THE FEDERAL RESERVE. Please ask Chairman Bernanke to have those
investment banks at the "window" to sign a receipt for the Billions they receive. It will help the cashier close out the accounts at the end of the day. The way money has been flying out that window, I'm sure that the Treasury clerk is having a hard time keeping count. A duplicate receipt would be nice. Something like we sign when we charge a pair of shoes.
3. SECURITIES AND EXCHANGE COMMISSION. Please ask Chairman Cox to go back through his files and see if the Chairman, or CEO or person responsible signed the financial statements for any of the public companies that has been a part of the. We understand that the Sarbanes Oxley bill imputed criminal penalties to the officers of these public companies responsible for the financial reports included in their reports to the SEC. While he's at it, ask him to double check to make sure that Franklin Raines, former CEO of Fannie Mae signed the financial statements for that semi-public company. He might as well check the financials of Jim Johnson's tenure as well. We understand that these are good buddies with some Democratic folks like Mr. Obama, but we're sure Mr. Obama wouldn't want anyone involved in his campaign who was involved in filing false financial statements. Just to tidy things up, let's make sure that Mr. Raines and Mr. Johnson are free of any wrongdoing because they got pretty sizable bonuses based on those financial reports. I know that I can count on you, Mr. President, to make sure that Chairman Cox checks the financials of any CEO of any company that was a recipient of any bail-out money
to forfeit any corporate bonuses if their public company didn't show a profit for 2007-2008.
4. CONGRESS. Please ask Senator Frank and Senator Dodd to make sure that they didn't keep any of the campaign contributions from any of the companies that are being included in the bail-out. I'm sure these are honorable gentleman, but I'm sure that neither of them would tolerate even the appearance of undue influence.
5. The final condition is an easy one. All bets are off if the bail-outbill is marked up with any earmarks, add-ons, or favors for congressional cronies, lobbyists, non-profits, community organizations, block grants to municipalities, or faith-based groups.
I trust that you'll respond timely, by Noon on Monday, September 22, 2008 so that I can get the Cashiers Check for $10,000 to pay my part of the bail-out. Just send me the bill for any additional costs associated with the bail-out because I'm sure that I and other hard working Americans will be expected to cover the costs for many Citizens who don't pay taxes.
The money has to come from somewhere.
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