How to "de-code" Property Descriptions 101

Real Estate Broker/Owner with Expert Real Estate Partners LLC

I must have ran across this sometime ago and as I was "cleaning" out some of my document files I ran into it again. Some of them made me chuckle so I figured I would share what I had found.   Enjoy!!!

PS Do you have any to add to the list??

Realtor Terms vs What They Really Mean


SOPHISTICATED CITY LIVING - Next to a noisy bar.
OLD WORLD CHARM - Has some woodwork, needs cleaning.
CONTEMPORARY FEELING - Has no woodwork, needs cleaning.
CLOSE TO LAKES - Impossible to park from April to October.
WIDE OPEN FLOOR PLAN - Previous owner removed supporting walls.
SECURITY SYSTEM - Neighbor has a dog.
NEEDS TLC - Major structural damage.
UPDATED KITCHEN - Sink no longer overflows.
MOTIVATED SELLER - Has been on the market for 14 years.
CONVENIENT - Located on freeway entrance ramp.
MINT - Someone has spilled mouthwash on the carpet.
NEUTRAL DECOR - No murals of nudes, or Elvis, but has brown walls.
MOVE IN CONDITION - Front door missing.

COZY - No room larger than 9 x 6.
LOWER LEVEL FAMILY ROOM - Ping Pong table over sewer opening.
LIGHT OPEN SPACES - Many holes in walls and ceiling.
OUTSTANDING - Painted purple, sticks out like a sore thumb.
BOX ROOM - Suitable for accommodating one or two large cardboard boxes ... folded.
BY PRIVATE TREATY - If it went to auction it would never reach the reserve price.
COUNTRY GENTLEMAN'S RESIDENCE - No longer suitable for agricultural tenants.
DECEPTIVE APPEARANCE - It looks terrible.
DELIGHTFUL RURAL LOCATION - In flight path of nuclear bomber base.
EASILY MAINTAINED - Requires at least two gardeners and live-in maid.
EXTENSIVELY MODERNIZED - Former DIY owner had a breakdown under the strain.
FOR THE GARDENING ENTHUSIAST - Grounds like a jungle.

MUCH SOUGHT AFTER - It's been on the market at least twice before and still no one wants it.
OWNER EAGER TO SELL - If it goes within a week the subsidence cracks won't be noticed.
PARTIAL CENTRAL HEATING - The room above the boiler can get warm in summer.
PERIOD RESIDENCE - Built in the last two years.
QUIET, SECLUDED SETTING - On site of proposed dormitory town.
RARE OPPORTUNITY TO BUY - No one else want's it.
SELECT NEIGHBORHOOD - Beside sewage works.
SOLD - Unless idiots like you offer a higher price.
SUBJECT TO NEW INSTRUCTIONS - They have just discovered death watch beetle.
UNSPOILED - Planning permission granted for field next door.
UNUSUAL LOCATION - In the path of a projected motorway.
USEFUL OUTBUILDINGS - No inside toilet.
WELL SITUATED - In full view of the neighbors.
WITHIN EASY DISTANCE OF - Next door to a pub

-unknown  (If anyone knows where this originated I would be happy to give proper credit!!)

Posted by



Duane Murphy Fox Valley Appleton WI Real Estate Home Buying Selling

Expert Real Estate Partners

Duane Murphy

    Broker Owner  

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Comments (5)

Mary Macy
Top Agents Atlanta Metro - Roswell, GA
Top Agents Atlanta Metro

Really cute translations of the advertising information.  We all have to do what we have to do to dress up our properties and get them sold, it is up to the buyer to do his due diligence.  Thanks for the great post!!

Jul 21, 2010 01:56 PM
Duane Murphy
Expert Real Estate Partners LLC - Appleton, WI
Broker- Owner-Real Estate -

Mary- Perception is in the eye of the beholder!

Jul 21, 2010 02:12 PM
Keisha Hosea-
KASI Homes - Chino Hills, CA
Real Estate Solutions For Real People

I loved this list. It made me laugh and think about all the MLS sheets I have decoded.

Jul 21, 2010 04:42 PM
Michael Collins
*ROCK REALTY|Broker|Realtor|Real Estate|WI Short Sale Agent* - Janesville, WI
CDPE, SFR , Wisconsin Short Sale Specialist Realto

Those are hilarious.  I'm glad I found this list.  I needed to touch up on my realtorbonics.

Jul 22, 2010 06:51 AM
Duane Murphy
Expert Real Estate Partners LLC - Appleton, WI
Broker- Owner-Real Estate -

Keisha - thanks love the (de-code) comment. In fact it spurred me to change the title of the post!

Michael- Your welcome! Hope the post GM hangover is clearing up for you!

Jul 22, 2010 07:05 AM