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If Buyers Are Liars, then I'm the Biggest One of All

By
Real Estate Agent with Long and Foster REALTORS (703) 470-4545 0225085927

IF BUYERS ARE LIARS, THEN I'M THE BIGGEST ONE OF ALL

Although I pride myself on being pretty darn patient with my clients who are searching for that perfect home here in Alexandria and while I assure them they should take as much time as they need to feel comfortable with their home buying decision, wow, until I started going out with my husband out to look for a new house for us, I was not prepared for what a PITA client *I* was going to turn out to be.question mark surrounded by houses

After looking at dozens of homes (not to mention dozens more online), all of which met our needs ON PAPER, I realized the other night how seriously out-of-control I apparently was when I heard my husband uttering these words, "well, with the dirt that they dig up for the new pool, they could fill in the other pool and we could build the patio over that. We wouldn't have to worry about removing the other pool."

The problem he was trying to solve?  A house we sort of like has an enclosed pool adjacent to the house but I don't like where the pool is.

Sigh.

When my husband starts talking about filling in a practically-new-perfectly-good-not-inexpensive pool in order to build another not-inexpensive pool (something in which he has absolutely zero interest, I must add), something is seriously out of whack in the universe.  (Or perhaps he is as tired of the indecision as I am and simply wants it to be over). Of course, if I LOVED LOVED LOVED the house, I wouldn't be making such a big deal over the pool...problem is, I want to like the house, but, I just don't even though it has every single thing - every thing - I said I wanted.

We have seen a number of houses we really like, all of which come with "but we would need to...." qualifiers ranging from the simple to the ridiculous. Electric cooking? Blech. Electric heat?  No way. One full bath?  Really? Seriously? No.  What do you mean, this area doesn't have cable? How do you get, uh, your high speed internet?  Oh, you don't.   Hmmm...no.

Is the perfect house out there?  I don't know.  Have I have done a 180 degree turn from my "ABSOLUTELY-MUST-HAVE-NO-COMPROMISE-CONSIDERED" list? Oh, yeah. And the hunt continues, with ever expanding parameters. 

man with houses in shopping cartSometimes as an Alexandria VA real estate agent - I readily admit and suspect I am not alone - I get a wee bit frustrated when I have looked and looked and previewed for clients only to have them say, "nope, this isn't it" when everything - EVERYTHING!!! - is telling me it SHOULD be it.  How can this NOT BE IT?  Come on!  It has absolutely everything you told me you wanted.  Seriously, this really isn't it?

It's even more frustrating when they suddenly start sending ME listings they have found in LISTINGBOOK that aren't  AT ALL what they told me they wanted...frustrating because I feel *I* should have found those listings for them, but...but...but they weren't what they said they wanted.   

But, I do understand. Totally. Sometimes we really DO have to look at a lot of properties - and a lot of totally different properties - before our clients can start to hone in on what their priorities REALLY are.  Sometimes what they discover surprises even them.

While it is critical to listen to what our clients say, it's also important to be a little creative in our searches, too....and when it becomes apparent they are no longer sure of what they really want, it's even more important to have our antennae up for those important clues that will help us help them.

Through it all, we need to be flexible and empathetic - folks cannot always articulate WHAT they want until they have had a chance to work through some things in their minds and with each other. 

At the end of the day, we need to go with the flow sometimes and trust our client's intuition.  And we also need to resist the impulse to call them liars. 

Christine Hooks
Pino Agency - Pennsville, NJ
Celebrating 25 Years in Real Estate!

good luck with your house hunting.  i'm sure you'll find the perfect one.....i believe it's out there!

Jul 30, 2010 04:47 AM
Susan Haughton
Long and Foster REALTORS (703) 470-4545 - Alexandria, VA
Susan & Mindy Team...Honesty. Integrity. Results.

Chris:  Thanks!  It must be out there, surely...I have never had this much trouble before, though, it has knocked me for a loop.

Jul 30, 2010 05:04 AM
Anna Tolstoy
Coldwell Banker Residential Brokerage - Natick, MA

I think, that along with specifications on paper (# of BR & BA, style, size), one should look at properties that differ in one way or another, and OBSERVE how buyers REACT to specific houses and features. I mean emotionally.  Do they have an unspoken questions "why on earth would someone PAY for this shed?" (or ask this you directly), are they hesitant to leave the house, do they sit down on the couch and look out the window?...

I showed a house yesterday, that was "different" in many ways, yet it has something about it, and buyers loved it. That's what they told me immediately. It was at the end of our outing, they were a bit tired and hungry (we were discussing lunch on our way!), yet they felt energized and happy once there...  It's a good sign. They were surprised that they liked it so much. It's very different from what they usually like. But it's in the specified area and within the price range. 

We'll see what happens, it's too early to say anything, but it was an important experience for me, too - to know what "speaks to their heart".

Jul 30, 2010 05:52 AM
Mary Ann Daniell Realtor
Coldwell Banker United, Realtors - Subsidiary of NRT LLC - Killeen, TX
Delivering Successful Results Since 1999

Perfect example of "don't judge someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes".   Like you, once I became a buyer and a seller, I gained a lot of insight into how buyers and sellers think. .. and that insight made me a better agent.

Jul 30, 2010 06:37 AM
Susan Haughton
Long and Foster REALTORS (703) 470-4545 - Alexandria, VA
Susan & Mindy Team...Honesty. Integrity. Results.

Anna:  Excellent advice!  Don't you love it when things work out like that?  I hope this is the "one for your clients!

Mary Ann:  You are absolutely right! I have bought and sold many houses over the years personally but have never had this much trouble making a decision. 

Jul 30, 2010 08:02 AM
Dee Bundy
Fort Collins Realtor @ C3 Real Estate Solutions - Fort Collins, CO
Helping You Make Colorado "Home"

 I was just going to say exactly what Mary Ann said above about stepping into their shoes.  It's a good reminder that they often don't know that what they NEED is different than what they WANT and their focus may be on something completely different than what they are truly going to be happy with.  I like what Karen Feltman said above as well about asking better questions.  That is going to give me some food for thought.

Thank you for your post and good luck your search!

Jul 30, 2010 08:49 AM
Susan Haughton
Long and Foster REALTORS (703) 470-4545 - Alexandria, VA
Susan & Mindy Team...Honesty. Integrity. Results.

Dee:  Great points! Thanks!

Jul 30, 2010 09:12 AM
Julia Odom
Select Realty Professionals - Chattanooga, TN
Chattanooga Homes for Sale

I almost eliminated a home from a list of showings the other day because, while it had some of the things the client seemed to want, there were some (supposed) deal breakers. Turns out, they liked it the best by far just because of the feel of the neighborhood. You never know til you look!

Jul 31, 2010 09:45 AM
Susan Haughton
Long and Foster REALTORS (703) 470-4545 - Alexandria, VA
Susan & Mindy Team...Honesty. Integrity. Results.

Julia:  Absolutely true!  Good for you their "list" didn't stop you for continuing to search for just the right home.

Jul 31, 2010 11:04 AM
Susan Haughton
Long and Foster REALTORS (703) 470-4545 - Alexandria, VA
Susan & Mindy Team...Honesty. Integrity. Results.

I've reported the spam above and am leaving it here for review.

In the meantime, T Hoffer, isn't it beyond your bedtime?  Go back to your parents' basement and try to think about what you are going to do when you grow up.

Aug 01, 2010 01:47 AM
Bill Saunders, Realtor®
Meyers Realty - Hot Springs, AR
www.BillSellsHotSprings.com

Hello again, Susan. I hope the AR Gods do something with the spam advertising that appeared above me. You have a great Real Estate discussion going and to have someone spam everyone...well...I reported it and we will see.

I am so patient with buyers "in flux". It is such a huge decision for most people. I guess sometimes we get a bit clouded about the service aspect of real estate, when there is the promise of a paycheck dangling elusively over the horizon. You will find the almost perfect home, Dearie, and then you guys will make it perfect because it will be a HOME then!

always the best...

Aug 01, 2010 01:49 AM
Susan Haughton
Long and Foster REALTORS (703) 470-4545 - Alexandria, VA
Susan & Mindy Team...Honesty. Integrity. Results.

Bill:   You have the patience of Job!  And you are right, this is a service industry.  Thanks!

Aug 01, 2010 01:56 AM
Yvette Chisholm
Long & Foster Real Estate, Inc. - Rockville, MD
Associate Broker - Rockville, MD 301-758-9500

Susan, cracks me up...we are our own worst clients!  I have sold two houses, that  I would have bought for myself, but gave my clients first crack and they jumped.  Yvette

Aug 06, 2010 01:31 PM
Susan Haughton
Long and Foster REALTORS (703) 470-4545 - Alexandria, VA
Susan & Mindy Team...Honesty. Integrity. Results.

Yvette:  Isn't that always the way?  And, of course, clients have to come first!  ;-)

Aug 06, 2010 04:15 PM
Tony and Suzanne Marriott, Associate Brokers
Serving the Greater Phoenix and Scottsdale Metropolitan Area - Scottsdale, AZ
Coldwell Banker Realty

More and more often Liars are getting caught out.  Whether it be Buyers who think they are "sophisticated" or Buyer Agents who think that law enforcement will never catch them at their game of fraud - slowly but surely these folks are being eliminated from the real estate equation....

Sep 22, 2010 07:11 PM
Susan Haughton
Long and Foster REALTORS (703) 470-4545 - Alexandria, VA
Susan & Mindy Team...Honesty. Integrity. Results.

Tony and Suzanne:  Thanks for the comment.

Sep 23, 2010 03:18 AM
Tni LeBlanc, Realtor®, J.D.
Mint Properties, Lic. #01871795 - Santa Maria, CA
Tenacious Tni (805) 878-9879

So true.  With some clients I have to throw out everything they say they wanted and then we finally find them a house.   It is very enlightening to be on the other side of the table.  What a great experience to have to remind you.

Dec 05, 2010 11:04 AM
Susan Haughton
Long and Foster REALTORS (703) 470-4545 - Alexandria, VA
Susan & Mindy Team...Honesty. Integrity. Results.

Tni:  Absolutely!  They just don't always know what they want until they see it. As someone said in a post a few months ago, "Saying 'I don't like it" is a perfectly good reason for not liking a house."  And she was so right!  It is not as easy as it seems it should be sometimes.

Dec 05, 2010 01:52 PM
Susan Mangigian
RE/MAX Preferred - West Chester, PA
Chester & Delaware County Homes, Delaware and Ches

I am usually very decisive.  But if and when I ever move again, it will be the last move of my life and I think I would be a real PITA as well.  Take your time.  The house is out there.  xxoo

Nov 19, 2011 09:53 AM
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