Church Bulletin Bloopers

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 The Fasting &  Prayer  Conference includes meals..
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 The sermon this  morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight:
 'Searching for  Jesus.'
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 Ladies, don't forget the rummage  sale. It's a chance to get rid of those
 things not worth keeping around the  house.  Bring your  husbands.
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 Remember in prayer the many who are  sick of our community. Smile at someone
 who is hard to love.   Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about
 you.
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 Don't let worry kill you off - let the  Church help.
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 Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will  not pass this way again,' giving obvious
 pleasure to the  congregation.
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 Next Thursday there will be  tryouts for the choir. They need all the help
 they can  get.
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 Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were  married on October 24 in the church.
 So ends a friendship that began in their  school days.
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 At the evening service tonight,  the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?'
 Come early and listen to our choir  practice.
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 Eight new choir robes are currently  needed due to the addition of several
 new members and to the deterioration of  some older ones.
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 Scouts are saving aluminum  cans, bottles and other items to be recycled.
 Proceeds will be used to cripple  children.

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 Please place your donation in the  envelope along with the deceased person
 you want  remembered.
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 The church will host an evening  of fine dining, super entertainment and
 gracious  hostility.

Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM -  prayer and medication to follow.
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 The ladies  of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be
 seen in the  basement on Friday afternoon.
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 This evening at  7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from
 the Church. Bring a  blanket and come prepared to sin.
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 The pastor  would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend
 him their  electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next  Sunday.
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 Low Self Esteem Support Group will  meet Thursday at 7 PM.  Please use the
 back  door.
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 The eighth-graders will be presenting  Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church
 basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation  is invited to attend this
 tragedy.
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 Weight  Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please
 use large  double door at the side entrance.

The  Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last
 Sunday: 'I  Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.'    jroosevelt@kw.com